the birthday
well this birthday was better than the last, but very different as well. Obviously because most of the same people were not there...which to me is a bit saddning when i think about it. the people who are in you life at one point, may not be very soon after..and birthdays are not far from eachother. Im not talking about death....although its very similar. Jesse micheal and mac were there alst year...and not this year. Although i feel jesse and mac should have been this year, because we all expierence so much with eachother at one point....things just dont always work out... and for those who think this is a crying fit over not being with the j word...its not. I appreciate the relationship that i had and cherish it because that was my life, and made me 80 percent of what i am now and made up 100 of the expierences that had in impact on me. and for those who cant see that I could look back and be fond of it, and not will it to be again...I dont have to prove anything... boyfriend still has friend into it, and that was what he was...my best friend who I put my life into. I dont regret the times...and i dont wish they were still here. I wish for a friend who knows me on that level...a level all other will never be on.. Lucas and I were talking of this at my birthday. he said he and the H- word were on a level that everyone else cannot be on... and I believe this is true. not only for him but for me. And why do we all have to hte our "ex"s ...its such a derogatory word. If some one was importtant to you at one point....why does everyone as soon as they break up claim to hate...I learned from my expierence that it should not be the case... at least not for me. A perfect relationship for the time and the best possible breakup...all other scewed emotions were me dealing...because I am an overly emotional female...who is trying not to be anymore.. As for others I finally told matt k how sorry I am about the insident. which leads me to the mac who should have been there, well over the other four guys that i hadent nemed yet. They didnt need to be there, and mac should have been. but situations happen. and somtimes i make bad decisions on expression....but mac shopuld have been there, and we should never have had an issue...and i should have just been normal laura and been honest about things from the begining. I need to talk to her. I need to do it soon. I miss her.
Ok so besides all that. I put things into perspective and i know who my real friends are...they are the ones i can sit down with and they are open...they are the ones who "act like theyve known me forever when we first met."-matt k.
I love you all. and thank you to my sarah who came to see me at my party while she was intown!