i still recall the words you said to me.

[ruby_lou]

do you know how much i hate having to pretend like i hate you? this is what you wanted. remember? you wanted me out of your life, and a little less drama. well i'm out. so please leave me alone. your a fairweather friend. well my weather isn't fair...for me its pretty dreary outside. i needed you a long time ago and now that your weather is sun shiney and pleasant your coming back around. i can't do it anymore. i can't jump when u say jump, back off when u say back off, kiss you when you say "kiss me." i'm more than someones convenience. eventually there will be someone in which i suit their every mood. i have friends that i suit their every move already. your not a good friend. you have made me feel horribly about myself, when all the while, it was just you. i feel great about myself now, and i'm doing just fine-not really...i'm not really doing just fine. but i'm doing a good job pretending. i just wish i didn't have to. wish i didn't have to push you away. but my wounds are slowly healing, and i won't let you rip them open and poor salt in them one more single time. you've caused them to be infected and oosing with puss. (gross) but so true. if i let you do it one more time, i'll get gaingreen and die.

unfortunately i miss the little good parts about you. its just there isn't enough to outway the nasty ones...unfortunately.

so i'll just go to bed, i won't be coming over, i won't be hanging around, i won't be responding to your coy texts. i'm onto you. you've played me a fool many times, and i played the part well...but now i can predict your next move and i'm not falling for it this time mister. i'm through with it.