okay so?

[ruby_flu]

approved for MA

did absolutely no good

won't backdate

won't cover my full bill for the surgery

now i'm a good 30 grand in debt with zero hope of insurance

what the hell good was living......... now i'm going to be struggling with this too?

Comments

[matt_doyle]

*hugs* I'm trying to find a way to say it that isn;t cheesy or preachy, but hope shouldn't have to exist only in the absence of problems. Hang on to it, fight for it - remember the joy and the wonder that you felt right after waking up (the morphine might have helped, but there was more to it than just that).

You still have that. You have life where you might not have, and a desire for it that you'd lost - that's something nobody can repossess or debit you for.

To my life, and in my opinion, you have always been an amazing, electric presence, unpredictable and passionate (mood swings and all), someone that is worth all the love I can muster, because you help me to think creatively, you understand me from a perspective almost no-one else ever sees, and you are the best best friend I could ask for - and that's before we get to comparatively trivial stuff, like that fact that your art is awesome, your ideas are dynamite, and dozens of other things that are still significant, but not so much as the essential and irreplaceable you-ness of you, the bethany-shaped imprint you leave on the world.

Keep hoping. Keep blissing. Let the nuisances get sorted out without letting them run your life.

♥

[ruby_flu]

... -sniffle-

ty ._.;;; thank you so much ._.;;; idk what to say to anything right now i'm so tired but thank you