(no subject)
my dad is gone now. i woke up this morning to the sound of coffee grinding and my brother blasting his "led zeppelin" cd. when i went downstairs my mom had acted as if nothing happened. She was so convincing that if it wasn't for the huge bruise around her eye, i might have forgotten all about last night, but there was no avoiding it. at first she acted all cheerful and chatted away about the latest book she's reading. i guess when she saw the terrified look on my face she decided to have a chat with me. she sat me down and told me that my father didn't know what he was doing. he was just drunk and just happened to have a little too much than usual. I couldn't believe what i was hearing. My mother was standing up for Dad for something that was entirely his fault! no one should put up with this shit, and i told her that. i said that this might not be a one time thing, that this might get more serious. she didn't seem to understand, or maybe she just wasn't listening, but she kept on protecting my dad like he was a little child. i couldn't take what she was saying. i was so sure she would take me and jeff out of that house and run away, far away where i could start all over again. maybe even find a friend or two. but here she was sticking up for the man who abused her. well i just got right out of that chair and ran outside. i didn't have any particular destination in mind, i just kept walking. the brisk morning air sent goosebumps down my back as i thought about my pathetic, meek little life. how come i understood that my father was a threat to us, but my mother, the one person who i thought had sense in this family, was so oblivious to this fact?
why is life always so complicated?
why is life always so complicated?