fic: The White Lie
FANDOM: THE BIG BANG THEORY
Title: The White Lie (2/10)
Spoilers: Small one for The Loobenfeld Decay
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny
Summary: Sheldon's grandmother comes to visit, but Mary may have misled her about Sheldon's romantic status... suddenly Penny finds herself helping Sheldon lie to his Meemaw.
I think I should just make it clear that I see this taking place about two years into the future - Leonard and Penny are well over, and are back to being good friends.
Chapter Two
“So, your Mom tells me you have a girlfriend.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“What’s her name?”
“Sarah Martin.”
“Uh-huh. What does she do? Give me some details.”
“She’s a post-doctorate research assistant in the experimental physics department.”
“How long have you been seeing each other?”
“Two and half months.”
“Is that her picture on your desk?”
“Yes.”
“She’s very pretty - when can I meet her?”
“I’m sorry but she’s actually away at the moment - she’s at a conference in Copenhagen and won’t be back until next Thursday.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. Maybe we could call her sometime?”
“That would be quite difficult - Copenhagen is nine hours ahead of us and she is very busy during the day.”
“See?” Said Leonard, breaking character and turning towards the television. “You’re fine.”
Sheldon nodded, looking relieved. “Yes, thank you Leonard,” he said. “The role-playing helps.”
Leonard nodded, but noticed that Sheldon still looked a little… tense. He’d gained confidence once they’d worked out the story he was going to tell, but he was still obviously very nervous about telling it to his grandmother.
Personally, Leonard didn’t think Sheldon had anything to worry about - his grandmother hadn’t seen him in almost three years, and she’d never been to California before, so he imagined she’d be more interested in seeing how he lived and where he worked than finding out about his girlfriend… and if she did have questions, they had come up with a brilliant cover for him. Seriously, Sarah Martin was so perfect, Leonard was a little in love with her himself.
And though Sheldon was a terrible off-the-cuff liar, he was extremely convincing when he had his stories worked out. Penny still didn’t know that Sheldon didn’t really have a cousin Leopold, and he was just as good at talking about Sarah.
They’d created Facebook and Twitter pages (not that Leonard expected Sheldon’s grandmother to go looking for them); they’d found a picture of a random girl and stuck it in a frame for Sheldon’s desk; they’d left some girly touches around the apartment - a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, a pink towel, some random things in Sheldon’s room, ice cream in the freezer; and they were going to have Raj text Sheldon at random times pretending to be her (Howard had volunteered but they’d vetoed him). It was foolproof. Un-unravellable.
Sheldon’s grandmother was due to arrive at any moment, and so they had left work a little early to go to the comic book store before coming home so that they would be in to receive her - she still thought her arrival would be a surprise. Howard and Raj were planning on coming over later that evening once she was settled in, but Leonard was under strict orders sneak over and tell Penny the minute she arrived so that she could meet her before she went to work… she wasn’t sure Sheldon would want her waiting to meet her, hence the sneaking.
Leonard was just about to say something - anything - to break the rather tense atmosphere in the room when there was a knock at the door. Sheldon jumped, his eyes wide, and he stared at Leonard for a moment in panic before getting a hold of himself and standing up to open the door.
“Sheldon,” Leonard hissed as he reached for the door handle. “Remember to act surprised.”
Sheldon nodded and swung the door open. An elderly lady stood in the hall - she was a little shorter than Leonard, with tightly curled silver hair and laughter lines etched into her smiling face. She beamed up at Sheldon, her bright brown eyes twinkling mischievously. “Surprise!” She exclaimed.
“Meemaw! What a lovely surprise!”
Even from where Leonard was sitting forward on the couch, he could see the tic jumping in Sheldon’s jaw.
His grandmother could obviously see it too, because she raised an eyebrow, her smile turning rueful. “You Mom told you I was coming, didn’t she? I might’ve known. Ah well - you come down here and give your Meemaw a kiss,” she said, reaching her hands up. Sheldon obediently leant down and kissed her on the cheek, and returned her hug for a whole three seconds before letting go and stepping back.
“Come in,” Sheldon said, gesturing into the apartment. He stepped out into the hallway to pick up Meemaw’s small suitcase as she walked through the door.
Leonard stood up. “Hello Mrs Cooper,” he said, smiling at her.
She smiled back and held out a hand. “Why hello there - Leonard, isn’t it? It’s nice to meet you,” she said. Leonard shook her hand, and found she had a surprisingly tight grip. “And my name’s Sylvie.”
Leonard liked her straight away- he’d never been close to any of his grandparents, and his only surviving grandparent had Alzheimer’s. Mrs Cooper - Sylvie - was everything Leonard imagined a grandmother should be… and once again he found himself envying Sheldon his family.
Sheldon wheeled Sylvie’s suitcase into the living room, and she turned back to him, smiling affectionately. “Oh, Moonpie, it is so good to see you,” she said, stepping forward and hugging him again. Sheldon once again returned the hug with no fuss, and Leonard allowed himself a small smile. Really, it was sweet.
“So tell me everything you’ve been up to at work - I had a look at that website of yours but I couldn’t get my head round what you’re a-studying.”
“Well, recently I’ve shifted my focus from -”
Unnoticed by either Sheldon or his grandmother, Leonard inched through the still-open door and then hurried across the hall to Penny’s apartment. He knocked softly, and a moment later Penny opened her door. She was dressed for work, and just sliding a spangly clip into her hair.
Her eyes lit up as she peered over Leonard’s shoulder. “She’s here?” She asked him excitedly.
“Yup, she just arrived,” Leonard told her.
“What’s she like?” Penny asked, coming out into the hall and closing her door behind her.
“She’s… like a grandma,” Leonard said, shrugging.
Penny rolled her eyes and started across the hall, Leonard on her heels. Penny paused in the doorway and then turned to Leonard and mouthed “aww!”, smiling widely. They entered the apartment and stopped just inside, and Leonard saw what Penny had found so cute.
Sheldon and his grandmother were sitting down, and he was still talking a mile-a-minute, now about this year’s Comic Con, as far as Leonard could tell. He noticed that Sheldon’s accent was suddenly quite a lot thicker, and smirked slightly. The thing that made him smile, though, was that Sylvie was sitting in his spot, and Sheldon, instead of protesting, was just sitting in the armchair, talking and smiling.
“… which of course is ludicrous, and next year I will give them a piece of my mind.”
“Of course you will baby,” Sylvie said, reaching forward and squeezing Sheldon’s hand. Sheldon smiled at her, and Leonard was just about to introduce Penny when Sylvie spoke again. “So, honey, your Mom tells me you have a lady friend.”
Leonard and Penny exchanged significant glances and quickly turned back to watch Sheldon. His eyes had widened a bit, but Leonard watched him take a deep breath and prepare himself to say the lie.
“Yes, that’s…”
Leonard frowned, waiting for Sheldon to continue, but it was if something was stuck in his throat - he’d just clammed up. His eye started twitching just a little, and he took another deep breath. “I… that is to say… um, well… I…”
With anyone else that might work… but I can’t lie to Meemaw.
“Oh my god,” Leonard said quietly, watching the car wreck before him unfold. Sheldon hadn’t been kidding. He looked at Penny again, and saw she was watching Sheldon with something very close to pity as he continued to struggle to speak.
“You… she… er -”
“Hi, Mrs Cooper?” Penny suddenly said, cutting Sheldon off. She pasted on a brilliant smile and walked around the front of the coffee table towards Sheldon. “It’s really nice to meet you finally. I’m Penny - Sheldon’s girlfriend.”
Penny leant forward in front of Sheldon to hold out her hand to Sylvie, but Leonard still saw the look of complete shock on Sheldon’s face. He looked over Penny’s shoulder at Leonard, who could only shrug helplessly. The thought had crossed his mind, back when Sheldon had first announced the ‘Non-Existent Girlfriend Conundrum’ as he’d called it, that perhaps Penny could just pretend… but he had quickly dismissed the idea as ludicrous. For starters, Sheldon would never go for it. Secondly, neither would Penny. Or so Leonard had thought.
Sylvie’s eyes widened, probably more because Penny had seemingly appeared out of nowhere than anything else, but she quickly smiled. “Oh! Well, hello dear,” she said, shaking Penny’s hand warmly. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
Penny grinned at her and stepped over Sheldon’s legs to sit on the armrest between he and his grandmother. Leonard had to appreciate the move - now Sylvie couldn’t see the look of shock, confusion and indignation on Sheldon’s face.
“Sheldon’s told me so much about you,” Penny said as she settled down. “He’s been so excited about you coming to visit - right sweetie?” She turned to look at Sheldon over her shoulder, and gave him a stern look before turning back to Sylvie, all smiles. “Seriously, we’ve been talking about nothing else.”
Sylvie laughed. “Well, it was supposed to be a surprise… but I should have guessed Mary’d let the cat out of the bag,” she said.
Penny grinned. “How was your trip? Have you had a tour of the apartment yet?”
“It was a long trip, I’ll tell you that for nothing,” Sylvie said. “But it was nice to see some of the old girls again. And no - haven’t seen the rest of the place yet, but before I do I think I’d better use the bathroom.”
Penny nodded and she and Sylvie both stood up. “It’s that room right there with the glass door,” Penny said, pointing down the hallway.
Sheldon stood up behind Penny, still looking a little shell-shocked, but he managed to return Sylvie’s smile. Just. He and Penny stood back against the armchair to let Sylvie squeeze past them, and then silently watched her as she made her way into the bathroom.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Sheldon’s head snapped back to face Penny. “What do you think you are doing?” He hissed angrily.
“I’m saving you from yourself!” Penny retorted in hushed tones, staring up at him defiantly.
“I was fine!” Sheldon hissed.
“No Sheldon, you weren’t,” Penny told him. “You were crashing, and a second later you would have burning.”
Sheldon’s shoulders slumped and he shook his head. “I told you I can’t lie to Meemaw,” he said quietly.
Penny nodded sympathetically. “I know - and this way you don’t have to,” she said.
Sheldon frowned. “You are not my girlfriend, Penny,” he said flatly. “Therefore telling my grandmother that you are would constitute a lie.”
Penny rolled her eyes. “I know,” she said. “What I mean, is that I will be the one doing most of the lying. I’ll do all the talking, okay? And I’ll stick to the truth wherever I can, to make it easier for you to agree to. All you have to do is sit there and look like you’re in love with me.”
Sheldon, who had been looking thoughtful throughout Penny’s speech, now glared at her. Penny grinned. “That’s not the look we’re going for,” she said cheekily.
Sheldon gritted his teeth and turned to Leonard. “What do you think Leonard?” He asked.
Leonard thought that the next few days were going to be the most entertaining that he had experienced for quite some time, but he decided not to voice that opinion. “I think it’s your best option right now,” he said truthfully.
Penny smiled at him, and he nodded. “Very well,” he said in a voice that suggested he’d just agreed to an invasive medical procedure rather than to pretend to be Penny’s boyfriend for a few days.
Penny looked over at Leonard. “Can you call the Cheesecake Factory and tell them I’m sick?” She asked him.
“Sure.” He’d done it enough times when they’d been going out - in fact, he probably still had the restaurant number saved on his phone.
Penny perched on the armrest of Sheldon’s chair again, this time leaning back and draping her arm across the back of it. “Just follow my lead, Sheldon,” she whispered as they all heard the soft click of the bathroom door opening.
“I’ll try.”
Sylvie came back out of the bathroom, making sure to close the door behind her - lucky really, as it gave Leonard just enough time to snatch the framed photograph of ‘Sarah Martin’ from Sheldon’s desk and stuff it into his own desk drawer.
TBC
Title: The White Lie (2/10)
Spoilers: Small one for The Loobenfeld Decay
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny
Summary: Sheldon's grandmother comes to visit, but Mary may have misled her about Sheldon's romantic status... suddenly Penny finds herself helping Sheldon lie to his Meemaw.
I think I should just make it clear that I see this taking place about two years into the future - Leonard and Penny are well over, and are back to being good friends.
Chapter Two
“So, your Mom tells me you have a girlfriend.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“What’s her name?”
“Sarah Martin.”
“Uh-huh. What does she do? Give me some details.”
“She’s a post-doctorate research assistant in the experimental physics department.”
“How long have you been seeing each other?”
“Two and half months.”
“Is that her picture on your desk?”
“Yes.”
“She’s very pretty - when can I meet her?”
“I’m sorry but she’s actually away at the moment - she’s at a conference in Copenhagen and won’t be back until next Thursday.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. Maybe we could call her sometime?”
“That would be quite difficult - Copenhagen is nine hours ahead of us and she is very busy during the day.”
“See?” Said Leonard, breaking character and turning towards the television. “You’re fine.”
Sheldon nodded, looking relieved. “Yes, thank you Leonard,” he said. “The role-playing helps.”
Leonard nodded, but noticed that Sheldon still looked a little… tense. He’d gained confidence once they’d worked out the story he was going to tell, but he was still obviously very nervous about telling it to his grandmother.
Personally, Leonard didn’t think Sheldon had anything to worry about - his grandmother hadn’t seen him in almost three years, and she’d never been to California before, so he imagined she’d be more interested in seeing how he lived and where he worked than finding out about his girlfriend… and if she did have questions, they had come up with a brilliant cover for him. Seriously, Sarah Martin was so perfect, Leonard was a little in love with her himself.
And though Sheldon was a terrible off-the-cuff liar, he was extremely convincing when he had his stories worked out. Penny still didn’t know that Sheldon didn’t really have a cousin Leopold, and he was just as good at talking about Sarah.
They’d created Facebook and Twitter pages (not that Leonard expected Sheldon’s grandmother to go looking for them); they’d found a picture of a random girl and stuck it in a frame for Sheldon’s desk; they’d left some girly touches around the apartment - a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, a pink towel, some random things in Sheldon’s room, ice cream in the freezer; and they were going to have Raj text Sheldon at random times pretending to be her (Howard had volunteered but they’d vetoed him). It was foolproof. Un-unravellable.
Sheldon’s grandmother was due to arrive at any moment, and so they had left work a little early to go to the comic book store before coming home so that they would be in to receive her - she still thought her arrival would be a surprise. Howard and Raj were planning on coming over later that evening once she was settled in, but Leonard was under strict orders sneak over and tell Penny the minute she arrived so that she could meet her before she went to work… she wasn’t sure Sheldon would want her waiting to meet her, hence the sneaking.
Leonard was just about to say something - anything - to break the rather tense atmosphere in the room when there was a knock at the door. Sheldon jumped, his eyes wide, and he stared at Leonard for a moment in panic before getting a hold of himself and standing up to open the door.
“Sheldon,” Leonard hissed as he reached for the door handle. “Remember to act surprised.”
Sheldon nodded and swung the door open. An elderly lady stood in the hall - she was a little shorter than Leonard, with tightly curled silver hair and laughter lines etched into her smiling face. She beamed up at Sheldon, her bright brown eyes twinkling mischievously. “Surprise!” She exclaimed.
“Meemaw! What a lovely surprise!”
Even from where Leonard was sitting forward on the couch, he could see the tic jumping in Sheldon’s jaw.
His grandmother could obviously see it too, because she raised an eyebrow, her smile turning rueful. “You Mom told you I was coming, didn’t she? I might’ve known. Ah well - you come down here and give your Meemaw a kiss,” she said, reaching her hands up. Sheldon obediently leant down and kissed her on the cheek, and returned her hug for a whole three seconds before letting go and stepping back.
“Come in,” Sheldon said, gesturing into the apartment. He stepped out into the hallway to pick up Meemaw’s small suitcase as she walked through the door.
Leonard stood up. “Hello Mrs Cooper,” he said, smiling at her.
She smiled back and held out a hand. “Why hello there - Leonard, isn’t it? It’s nice to meet you,” she said. Leonard shook her hand, and found she had a surprisingly tight grip. “And my name’s Sylvie.”
Leonard liked her straight away- he’d never been close to any of his grandparents, and his only surviving grandparent had Alzheimer’s. Mrs Cooper - Sylvie - was everything Leonard imagined a grandmother should be… and once again he found himself envying Sheldon his family.
Sheldon wheeled Sylvie’s suitcase into the living room, and she turned back to him, smiling affectionately. “Oh, Moonpie, it is so good to see you,” she said, stepping forward and hugging him again. Sheldon once again returned the hug with no fuss, and Leonard allowed himself a small smile. Really, it was sweet.
“So tell me everything you’ve been up to at work - I had a look at that website of yours but I couldn’t get my head round what you’re a-studying.”
“Well, recently I’ve shifted my focus from -”
Unnoticed by either Sheldon or his grandmother, Leonard inched through the still-open door and then hurried across the hall to Penny’s apartment. He knocked softly, and a moment later Penny opened her door. She was dressed for work, and just sliding a spangly clip into her hair.
Her eyes lit up as she peered over Leonard’s shoulder. “She’s here?” She asked him excitedly.
“Yup, she just arrived,” Leonard told her.
“What’s she like?” Penny asked, coming out into the hall and closing her door behind her.
“She’s… like a grandma,” Leonard said, shrugging.
Penny rolled her eyes and started across the hall, Leonard on her heels. Penny paused in the doorway and then turned to Leonard and mouthed “aww!”, smiling widely. They entered the apartment and stopped just inside, and Leonard saw what Penny had found so cute.
Sheldon and his grandmother were sitting down, and he was still talking a mile-a-minute, now about this year’s Comic Con, as far as Leonard could tell. He noticed that Sheldon’s accent was suddenly quite a lot thicker, and smirked slightly. The thing that made him smile, though, was that Sylvie was sitting in his spot, and Sheldon, instead of protesting, was just sitting in the armchair, talking and smiling.
“… which of course is ludicrous, and next year I will give them a piece of my mind.”
“Of course you will baby,” Sylvie said, reaching forward and squeezing Sheldon’s hand. Sheldon smiled at her, and Leonard was just about to introduce Penny when Sylvie spoke again. “So, honey, your Mom tells me you have a lady friend.”
Leonard and Penny exchanged significant glances and quickly turned back to watch Sheldon. His eyes had widened a bit, but Leonard watched him take a deep breath and prepare himself to say the lie.
“Yes, that’s…”
Leonard frowned, waiting for Sheldon to continue, but it was if something was stuck in his throat - he’d just clammed up. His eye started twitching just a little, and he took another deep breath. “I… that is to say… um, well… I…”
With anyone else that might work… but I can’t lie to Meemaw.
“Oh my god,” Leonard said quietly, watching the car wreck before him unfold. Sheldon hadn’t been kidding. He looked at Penny again, and saw she was watching Sheldon with something very close to pity as he continued to struggle to speak.
“You… she… er -”
“Hi, Mrs Cooper?” Penny suddenly said, cutting Sheldon off. She pasted on a brilliant smile and walked around the front of the coffee table towards Sheldon. “It’s really nice to meet you finally. I’m Penny - Sheldon’s girlfriend.”
Penny leant forward in front of Sheldon to hold out her hand to Sylvie, but Leonard still saw the look of complete shock on Sheldon’s face. He looked over Penny’s shoulder at Leonard, who could only shrug helplessly. The thought had crossed his mind, back when Sheldon had first announced the ‘Non-Existent Girlfriend Conundrum’ as he’d called it, that perhaps Penny could just pretend… but he had quickly dismissed the idea as ludicrous. For starters, Sheldon would never go for it. Secondly, neither would Penny. Or so Leonard had thought.
Sylvie’s eyes widened, probably more because Penny had seemingly appeared out of nowhere than anything else, but she quickly smiled. “Oh! Well, hello dear,” she said, shaking Penny’s hand warmly. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
Penny grinned at her and stepped over Sheldon’s legs to sit on the armrest between he and his grandmother. Leonard had to appreciate the move - now Sylvie couldn’t see the look of shock, confusion and indignation on Sheldon’s face.
“Sheldon’s told me so much about you,” Penny said as she settled down. “He’s been so excited about you coming to visit - right sweetie?” She turned to look at Sheldon over her shoulder, and gave him a stern look before turning back to Sylvie, all smiles. “Seriously, we’ve been talking about nothing else.”
Sylvie laughed. “Well, it was supposed to be a surprise… but I should have guessed Mary’d let the cat out of the bag,” she said.
Penny grinned. “How was your trip? Have you had a tour of the apartment yet?”
“It was a long trip, I’ll tell you that for nothing,” Sylvie said. “But it was nice to see some of the old girls again. And no - haven’t seen the rest of the place yet, but before I do I think I’d better use the bathroom.”
Penny nodded and she and Sylvie both stood up. “It’s that room right there with the glass door,” Penny said, pointing down the hallway.
Sheldon stood up behind Penny, still looking a little shell-shocked, but he managed to return Sylvie’s smile. Just. He and Penny stood back against the armchair to let Sylvie squeeze past them, and then silently watched her as she made her way into the bathroom.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Sheldon’s head snapped back to face Penny. “What do you think you are doing?” He hissed angrily.
“I’m saving you from yourself!” Penny retorted in hushed tones, staring up at him defiantly.
“I was fine!” Sheldon hissed.
“No Sheldon, you weren’t,” Penny told him. “You were crashing, and a second later you would have burning.”
Sheldon’s shoulders slumped and he shook his head. “I told you I can’t lie to Meemaw,” he said quietly.
Penny nodded sympathetically. “I know - and this way you don’t have to,” she said.
Sheldon frowned. “You are not my girlfriend, Penny,” he said flatly. “Therefore telling my grandmother that you are would constitute a lie.”
Penny rolled her eyes. “I know,” she said. “What I mean, is that I will be the one doing most of the lying. I’ll do all the talking, okay? And I’ll stick to the truth wherever I can, to make it easier for you to agree to. All you have to do is sit there and look like you’re in love with me.”
Sheldon, who had been looking thoughtful throughout Penny’s speech, now glared at her. Penny grinned. “That’s not the look we’re going for,” she said cheekily.
Sheldon gritted his teeth and turned to Leonard. “What do you think Leonard?” He asked.
Leonard thought that the next few days were going to be the most entertaining that he had experienced for quite some time, but he decided not to voice that opinion. “I think it’s your best option right now,” he said truthfully.
Penny smiled at him, and he nodded. “Very well,” he said in a voice that suggested he’d just agreed to an invasive medical procedure rather than to pretend to be Penny’s boyfriend for a few days.
Penny looked over at Leonard. “Can you call the Cheesecake Factory and tell them I’m sick?” She asked him.
“Sure.” He’d done it enough times when they’d been going out - in fact, he probably still had the restaurant number saved on his phone.
Penny perched on the armrest of Sheldon’s chair again, this time leaning back and draping her arm across the back of it. “Just follow my lead, Sheldon,” she whispered as they all heard the soft click of the bathroom door opening.
“I’ll try.”
Sylvie came back out of the bathroom, making sure to close the door behind her - lucky really, as it gave Leonard just enough time to snatch the framed photograph of ‘Sarah Martin’ from Sheldon’s desk and stuff it into his own desk drawer.
TBC