Lost and Broken
so late Friday night, I had to have Popeye put to sleep.
16 years.... over half of my life... he's been with me.
I knew this day would come,
but I thought I had a few more years.
Snowflake lived until she was 20...
I thought Popeye would make it til he was at least 18.
after 16 years, it's hard to un-train yourself...
no more lap motor every evening after work;
no more head-butts for kisses;
no more snuggles and lovin's.
even the one year I've been in this house,
no more seeing him paws pressed to the glass wanting out of his room each morning.
he's not laying in front of my monitor as I write this...
it's weird...
I hear something in the house and look up expecting him to be the cause of the noise,
but he's not there.
I can still hear him meowing for me to come pet him at times.
some moments are better than others....
sometimes I can talk about it just fine,
and sometimes I can't.
this whole weekend and experience has been surreal... and very depressing.
so if I am not myself for a while, this is why.
16 years.... over half of my life... he's been with me.
I knew this day would come,
but I thought I had a few more years.
Snowflake lived until she was 20...
I thought Popeye would make it til he was at least 18.
after 16 years, it's hard to un-train yourself...
no more lap motor every evening after work;
no more head-butts for kisses;
no more snuggles and lovin's.
even the one year I've been in this house,
no more seeing him paws pressed to the glass wanting out of his room each morning.
he's not laying in front of my monitor as I write this...
it's weird...
I hear something in the house and look up expecting him to be the cause of the noise,
but he's not there.
I can still hear him meowing for me to come pet him at times.
some moments are better than others....
sometimes I can talk about it just fine,
and sometimes I can't.
this whole weekend and experience has been surreal... and very depressing.
so if I am not myself for a while, this is why.