WIP: Nothing Can Compare, Part 4 of ?, R, (L/V, Ensemble)
Title: WIP: Nothing Can Compare, Part 4 of ?
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,374
Characters/Pairing: L/V, Ensemble
Spoilers: S1 and 2 so far
Disclaimer: They all belong to Robby. Sigh.
Notes: This is not the final chapter. I'm thinking smut for next time. anyone agree?
As the song faded to an end, Veronica broke apart from Logan and, as if breaking from a dream, the expression on her face snapped into a realization.
She had taken a crazy chance when she approached him to dance with her, and her feelings bordered on confusion for a moment. Veronica had no idea what she was feeling, and she opened her mouth to give explanation as Logan stood before her with a question mark painted on his face.
“Logan, I…I. Thanks. Thanks for the…the dance. I…”
“You…?” Logan finished where she left off. She opened her mouth and closed it again, unable to form words or sentences.
“I…I have to dance with my dad.” And with that, she ran through the crowd. Logan watched in amazement as she zig-zagged roughly through the guests, until she arrived before Keith and Alicia. He saw as she forcibly tapped Keith’s shoulder, breaking him from his reverie. She muttered something to him and he smiled, taking his arms away from Alicia and wrapping them around his little girl. The DJ-slash-bandleader saw Daddy and Daughter dancing, and cued up “In My Daughter’s Eyes.” Logan rolled his eyes at the song, and grew more and more frustrated.
Why does she do this? She runs away. She runs away all the time. She ran from my house the night she found the cameras. She ran from me when she assumed I killed Lilly. She ran from me when she discovered I had a gun. She never talks, she just runs.
Angered, Logan stalked back to his table. Veronica watched him, peering over her father’s shoulder as she danced tightly against him. She bit her lip as she witnessed Logan rip a bottle of champagne off the table, a look of anger and sadness tearing up his face. He strode through the tent and out onto the beach, into the dark night. She wanted to pull away from Keith, but knew she had to finish the dance.
The song strained on for what seemed like a million seconds. She counted seconds and minutes in her head, not believing the actual calculations. As soon as the song ended, she kissed Keith on the cheek, and, kicking off the flip-flops she’d worn to dance, ran through the tent and out into the night.
The moon shone faintly above the beach and it did very little for Veronica’s vision. She could see soft reflections from the sliver in the sky and the party behind her on the water, and looked about her wildly. She feared calling out his name, feared that someone would hear her, feared that they’d get the wrong idea.
She wasn’t really sure what the right or wrong ideas were at the moment, but clung to herself, protecting herself.
She didn’t want to get hurt again. Every time she loved someone, she got hurt.
Walking about aimlessly in the sand, she tripped suddenly, and saw a pair of black flip-flops beneath her. Staring out straight ahead, she saw a tall figure by the edge of the water. She saw that he discarded his jacket, and cuffed the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. His pants were cuffed to his knees, and he waded into the water. He raised the bottle in his right hand to his lips, and chugged heartily for a second. She watched quietly as he wiped his mouth with the back of his left hand.
She approached him from behind, slowly, cautiously, silently. She saw him flinch when he felt her presence. He tipped the bottle to his mouth once again.
She reached out with trembling fingers to touch his back, but retreated at the sound of his voice.
“You had to fucking run again, didn’t you? To one of your men. Ran to Weevil. Ran to Duncan. Ran to Daddy.” He spat, not daring to say her name.
“I…well, I,” she stuttered. “Well who just ran now, huh?”
“I only run when you push me away. You run of your own free will.” Logan bit on every word as it escaped his mouth. He ran his tongue along his lower lip, tasting remnants of the champagne.
Not knowing what to say, she quieted herself. She reached forward and tore the bottle from his hand, and sweeping it to her face, gulped soundly and quickly. The liquid burned a trail down her throat, and, as she threw the bottle from her lips, she coughed gutturally.
Logan didn’t turn as she expected him to. He stared straight ahead into the water, not moving.
She realized now how it must feel to be him. All this time, I’ve acted like I haven’t cared about whether he lived or died, whether he screwed up his life, whether he fucked Kendall or not, or whether he defiled Hannah or not. This is what it’s like to feel like he doesn’t care about me.
At this realization, a huge sob worked its way up her throat and fled from between her lips. She threw her face into her hands and allowed herself to cry bitterly for the first time in a long time…since Duncan left, and before that, since the day Logan almost got himself killed by the Fitzpatricks.
Her sobs reached Logan’s ears and he fought with himself not to look at her. Still, standing there, not responding to her, made him feel awful to the very core. He clenched his fists and held his breath, not wanting to give in.
I always give in. I can’t resist her. God damn her. God damn Veronica Mars.
Squeezing his fists harder, he felt moisture appear at the corners of his eyes.
Fuck you for crying Mars, fuck you.
He turned with that thought, and observed her, tears pouring from between her fingers, her mascara running down her face. Sobs wracked her little frame. Logan, fighting against himself, slowly pulled her hands away from her face with his. She looked up at him, but squeezed her eyes shut, feeling ashamed. He dug into his pocket for his handkerchief, and, dipping it into the ocean water, began wiping her face with it while holding the back of her head with his other hand. When the mascara and tears were dried from her face, he placed his hand on her shoulder and set him away from her shortly, so he could bend down and look her in the eye.
She’d calmed down by this point, but still sniffled and guffawed a few times. “Breathe. Veronica. Breathe.”
She slowed her breath in obedience.
“I…I’m…Christ, Logan. I’m…sorry.” She choked out. “I didn’t mean to leave. I got…scared.”
“And you had to do whatever? I don’t know if I can handle that anymore, Mars.”
His words were stern, but he spoke gently to her, so as not to rattle her.
“No, I just…I just…ran. I admit it, I ran.” She fought to look away from him. She looked at the sand, her toes, the ocean.
“Yep. You ran. You’ve become awfully expert in that regard.”
“Wait, let me finish, Logan.” She cleared her throat, and finally looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to run anymore. I’m done. I’m tired. It’s just…it’s a coping mechanism, you know? I feel like every person I’ve ever loved has left me or disappointed me. I can’t stand it. I can’t take it anymore. I want something real, that I can feel between my hands, something that won’t leave me, won’t escape me…I…”
“Every person you’ve ever loved?”
“Yeah. My mom left. Duncan left. And last summer, you…you disappointed me. You acted like such an idiot. I couldn’t take it. You forced me to leave.”
“I agree.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I do. But…every person you’ve ever loved?” He asked, again.
“Uh yeah, Logan, did you hear me? Are you going deaf?” She sighed, exasperated.
“You loved me?”
She sucked in a long breath, not realizing the consequence of what she had just said. I never did tell Logan I loved him. That day, in the Xterra, he told me, but I never…the PCHers ruined my moment. Logan looked at her, exptectantly. What do I say? What do I do?
“Um, well…” she trailed off. Oh well, here goes… “Yes.”
Logan exhaled a breath he felt like he’d been holding for 10 months. He’d never known, he’d only hoped.
“And…you’re bringing this up now because…?”
“Well, because I’m trying to put this,” she gestured between the two of them and then back to the party “into perspective. I want to explain why I ran.”
“But you were saying you ran because of people you loved hurting you.”
“Uh, yeah” Um, hello, Logan, duh. Dude, is he listening?
“So. You. Love me. Now?” He spit out, confused, hoping.
Oh dear Jesus. What have I done? Way to betray yourself now, Ms. Mars.
Flustered, she grabbed the bottle from his hand again and took a big swig.
He chuckled loudly, and his laughs rang out against the clear, still night.
“Oh shut up, you, you…jackass.”
Logan couldn’t stop. He laughed till he was doubled over in pain. Tears rolled down his face, and he placed his hands on his knees as he bent forward.
“Stop it!” She yelled, frustrated, angry, embarrassed. “Stop it this second!”
All of a sudden, Logan lifted himself and launched himself against her, pushing her onto the sand. She screeched and wriggled out from under him, pummeling him with her tiny fists. He caught her fists in his hands and continued to laugh uncontrollably. Finally, she started laughing with him, her hands still in his, her laying above him in the sand. They laughed and laughed and she collapsed onto his chest until she couldn’t laugh anymore.
“You ruined my dress, ass. You didn’t know the meaning of ‘death wish’ till this very moment.” She kicked his shin with her bare foot.
Not answering, Logan rolled her over onto the sand and hovered over her. She gasped, and her wide eyes stared back at him in surprise. “Say it,” he said, softly, his breath warm on her face.
“What? Um, what are you talking about?” She began to wriggle beneath him. He caught her face in one hand, and said again, slowly “Say it. Please. Say it.”
She felt trapped, but didn’t want to move. She softened suddenly, and felt all the muscles in her body relax under his tutelage. She felt the champagne start to take hold of her, and her face felt warm. She swallowed the lump in her throat and opened her mouth.
“I…I love you.”
“Again?” He said.
“No, I. I mean yes. No.”
He pressed his forehead against hers and hovered his nose a centimeter over her nose.
“No?”
“No. I mean…I don’t think I ever…I don’t think I ever really stopped,” Veronica breathed. “I just don’t want to be hurt, Lo…”
He stopped her with his mouth, kissing her fervently, pressing her head deep into the sand. She thought about struggling but gave in, and, opening her mouth, pulled his tongue against hers and sucked gently. Before she realized what was happening, they were kissing hungrily and moving against each other. She wrapped one arm around his back and snaked her other hand into his hair. He traced his finger along her jawline and over her collarbone and then back again.
He pulled away from her, and placing his mouth to her ear, he said, firmly, “Veronica. I will never hurt you ever again. I promise I’ve changed for good. I swear to you. I will do everything in my power to make you happy, and to protect you.”
She nodded, slowly. “I want to believe you, I do. I just…I want to see how it goes.”
He bit his lip, disheartened.
“Logan, listen. I know you’re sincere. I’m just being cautious. I can promise you this - you’re the only one I’m thinking of now.”
She reached up and kissed him chastely.
He picked her up off the sand, and brushed the dirt and debris off her dress. “I never told you…you look beautiful tonight.”
She laughed, shaking sand out of her hair. “Yeah, I’m a real beaut.”
“You are,” he stated. Realizing this wasn’t registering with her, he caught her wrist in his hand. “You are. You look amazing. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you all night.”
“The things guys will say to get into a girl’s pants!” she mocked him, running away from him. He caught her from behind, and wrapped his arms around her. Whispering in one ear, he said “Okay, Miss Mars. We’re going home now.”
“To my house?”
“No. To the hotel. And we’re taking that pretty little dress off and getting your dirty little self into the shower.”
She gasped. “Logan! I am not showering with you.”
“Ha! That’s what you think,” and with that, he swept her up into his arms, carrying her to the Xterra.
--
The party had died down, and people filtered into their cars and limos. Keith and Alicia hugged each other as they stepped into a vintage Rolls Royce, rented to them by Cliff.
Wallace and Jackie, Weevil and Carmen, and Mac and Beaver decided amongst the six of them to get a hotel room to party. Wallace peered outside the tent, and saw a tall figure carrying his best friend toward a yellow vehicle. Grinning, he poked Jackie in the side. She looked to where he was looking, and smiled. Their plan had worked.
“And we didn’t have to do a thing, really.”
“We’re so smooth, girl.”
The six of them filed toward the line of cabs waiting in the parking lot.
--
He watched as Logan piled Veronica into the passenger seat of the Xterra. Veronica snaked a hand out and pulled Logan’s face to hers, kissing him softly once, twice, three times. He swallowed as he saw Logan kiss her forehead, tuck her into the car, and shut the door tightly. As the Xterra pulled away from the beach, he slowly took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and took one out. Placing it to his lips, he lit it with a match, and took a long drag.
--
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,374
Characters/Pairing: L/V, Ensemble
Spoilers: S1 and 2 so far
Disclaimer: They all belong to Robby. Sigh.
Notes: This is not the final chapter. I'm thinking smut for next time. anyone agree?
As the song faded to an end, Veronica broke apart from Logan and, as if breaking from a dream, the expression on her face snapped into a realization.
She had taken a crazy chance when she approached him to dance with her, and her feelings bordered on confusion for a moment. Veronica had no idea what she was feeling, and she opened her mouth to give explanation as Logan stood before her with a question mark painted on his face.
“Logan, I…I. Thanks. Thanks for the…the dance. I…”
“You…?” Logan finished where she left off. She opened her mouth and closed it again, unable to form words or sentences.
“I…I have to dance with my dad.” And with that, she ran through the crowd. Logan watched in amazement as she zig-zagged roughly through the guests, until she arrived before Keith and Alicia. He saw as she forcibly tapped Keith’s shoulder, breaking him from his reverie. She muttered something to him and he smiled, taking his arms away from Alicia and wrapping them around his little girl. The DJ-slash-bandleader saw Daddy and Daughter dancing, and cued up “In My Daughter’s Eyes.” Logan rolled his eyes at the song, and grew more and more frustrated.
Why does she do this? She runs away. She runs away all the time. She ran from my house the night she found the cameras. She ran from me when she assumed I killed Lilly. She ran from me when she discovered I had a gun. She never talks, she just runs.
Angered, Logan stalked back to his table. Veronica watched him, peering over her father’s shoulder as she danced tightly against him. She bit her lip as she witnessed Logan rip a bottle of champagne off the table, a look of anger and sadness tearing up his face. He strode through the tent and out onto the beach, into the dark night. She wanted to pull away from Keith, but knew she had to finish the dance.
The song strained on for what seemed like a million seconds. She counted seconds and minutes in her head, not believing the actual calculations. As soon as the song ended, she kissed Keith on the cheek, and, kicking off the flip-flops she’d worn to dance, ran through the tent and out into the night.
The moon shone faintly above the beach and it did very little for Veronica’s vision. She could see soft reflections from the sliver in the sky and the party behind her on the water, and looked about her wildly. She feared calling out his name, feared that someone would hear her, feared that they’d get the wrong idea.
She wasn’t really sure what the right or wrong ideas were at the moment, but clung to herself, protecting herself.
She didn’t want to get hurt again. Every time she loved someone, she got hurt.
Walking about aimlessly in the sand, she tripped suddenly, and saw a pair of black flip-flops beneath her. Staring out straight ahead, she saw a tall figure by the edge of the water. She saw that he discarded his jacket, and cuffed the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. His pants were cuffed to his knees, and he waded into the water. He raised the bottle in his right hand to his lips, and chugged heartily for a second. She watched quietly as he wiped his mouth with the back of his left hand.
She approached him from behind, slowly, cautiously, silently. She saw him flinch when he felt her presence. He tipped the bottle to his mouth once again.
She reached out with trembling fingers to touch his back, but retreated at the sound of his voice.
“You had to fucking run again, didn’t you? To one of your men. Ran to Weevil. Ran to Duncan. Ran to Daddy.” He spat, not daring to say her name.
“I…well, I,” she stuttered. “Well who just ran now, huh?”
“I only run when you push me away. You run of your own free will.” Logan bit on every word as it escaped his mouth. He ran his tongue along his lower lip, tasting remnants of the champagne.
Not knowing what to say, she quieted herself. She reached forward and tore the bottle from his hand, and sweeping it to her face, gulped soundly and quickly. The liquid burned a trail down her throat, and, as she threw the bottle from her lips, she coughed gutturally.
Logan didn’t turn as she expected him to. He stared straight ahead into the water, not moving.
She realized now how it must feel to be him. All this time, I’ve acted like I haven’t cared about whether he lived or died, whether he screwed up his life, whether he fucked Kendall or not, or whether he defiled Hannah or not. This is what it’s like to feel like he doesn’t care about me.
At this realization, a huge sob worked its way up her throat and fled from between her lips. She threw her face into her hands and allowed herself to cry bitterly for the first time in a long time…since Duncan left, and before that, since the day Logan almost got himself killed by the Fitzpatricks.
Her sobs reached Logan’s ears and he fought with himself not to look at her. Still, standing there, not responding to her, made him feel awful to the very core. He clenched his fists and held his breath, not wanting to give in.
I always give in. I can’t resist her. God damn her. God damn Veronica Mars.
Squeezing his fists harder, he felt moisture appear at the corners of his eyes.
Fuck you for crying Mars, fuck you.
He turned with that thought, and observed her, tears pouring from between her fingers, her mascara running down her face. Sobs wracked her little frame. Logan, fighting against himself, slowly pulled her hands away from her face with his. She looked up at him, but squeezed her eyes shut, feeling ashamed. He dug into his pocket for his handkerchief, and, dipping it into the ocean water, began wiping her face with it while holding the back of her head with his other hand. When the mascara and tears were dried from her face, he placed his hand on her shoulder and set him away from her shortly, so he could bend down and look her in the eye.
She’d calmed down by this point, but still sniffled and guffawed a few times. “Breathe. Veronica. Breathe.”
She slowed her breath in obedience.
“I…I’m…Christ, Logan. I’m…sorry.” She choked out. “I didn’t mean to leave. I got…scared.”
“And you had to do whatever? I don’t know if I can handle that anymore, Mars.”
His words were stern, but he spoke gently to her, so as not to rattle her.
“No, I just…I just…ran. I admit it, I ran.” She fought to look away from him. She looked at the sand, her toes, the ocean.
“Yep. You ran. You’ve become awfully expert in that regard.”
“Wait, let me finish, Logan.” She cleared her throat, and finally looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to run anymore. I’m done. I’m tired. It’s just…it’s a coping mechanism, you know? I feel like every person I’ve ever loved has left me or disappointed me. I can’t stand it. I can’t take it anymore. I want something real, that I can feel between my hands, something that won’t leave me, won’t escape me…I…”
“Every person you’ve ever loved?”
“Yeah. My mom left. Duncan left. And last summer, you…you disappointed me. You acted like such an idiot. I couldn’t take it. You forced me to leave.”
“I agree.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I do. But…every person you’ve ever loved?” He asked, again.
“Uh yeah, Logan, did you hear me? Are you going deaf?” She sighed, exasperated.
“You loved me?”
She sucked in a long breath, not realizing the consequence of what she had just said. I never did tell Logan I loved him. That day, in the Xterra, he told me, but I never…the PCHers ruined my moment. Logan looked at her, exptectantly. What do I say? What do I do?
“Um, well…” she trailed off. Oh well, here goes… “Yes.”
Logan exhaled a breath he felt like he’d been holding for 10 months. He’d never known, he’d only hoped.
“And…you’re bringing this up now because…?”
“Well, because I’m trying to put this,” she gestured between the two of them and then back to the party “into perspective. I want to explain why I ran.”
“But you were saying you ran because of people you loved hurting you.”
“Uh, yeah” Um, hello, Logan, duh. Dude, is he listening?
“So. You. Love me. Now?” He spit out, confused, hoping.
Oh dear Jesus. What have I done? Way to betray yourself now, Ms. Mars.
Flustered, she grabbed the bottle from his hand again and took a big swig.
He chuckled loudly, and his laughs rang out against the clear, still night.
“Oh shut up, you, you…jackass.”
Logan couldn’t stop. He laughed till he was doubled over in pain. Tears rolled down his face, and he placed his hands on his knees as he bent forward.
“Stop it!” She yelled, frustrated, angry, embarrassed. “Stop it this second!”
All of a sudden, Logan lifted himself and launched himself against her, pushing her onto the sand. She screeched and wriggled out from under him, pummeling him with her tiny fists. He caught her fists in his hands and continued to laugh uncontrollably. Finally, she started laughing with him, her hands still in his, her laying above him in the sand. They laughed and laughed and she collapsed onto his chest until she couldn’t laugh anymore.
“You ruined my dress, ass. You didn’t know the meaning of ‘death wish’ till this very moment.” She kicked his shin with her bare foot.
Not answering, Logan rolled her over onto the sand and hovered over her. She gasped, and her wide eyes stared back at him in surprise. “Say it,” he said, softly, his breath warm on her face.
“What? Um, what are you talking about?” She began to wriggle beneath him. He caught her face in one hand, and said again, slowly “Say it. Please. Say it.”
She felt trapped, but didn’t want to move. She softened suddenly, and felt all the muscles in her body relax under his tutelage. She felt the champagne start to take hold of her, and her face felt warm. She swallowed the lump in her throat and opened her mouth.
“I…I love you.”
“Again?” He said.
“No, I. I mean yes. No.”
He pressed his forehead against hers and hovered his nose a centimeter over her nose.
“No?”
“No. I mean…I don’t think I ever…I don’t think I ever really stopped,” Veronica breathed. “I just don’t want to be hurt, Lo…”
He stopped her with his mouth, kissing her fervently, pressing her head deep into the sand. She thought about struggling but gave in, and, opening her mouth, pulled his tongue against hers and sucked gently. Before she realized what was happening, they were kissing hungrily and moving against each other. She wrapped one arm around his back and snaked her other hand into his hair. He traced his finger along her jawline and over her collarbone and then back again.
He pulled away from her, and placing his mouth to her ear, he said, firmly, “Veronica. I will never hurt you ever again. I promise I’ve changed for good. I swear to you. I will do everything in my power to make you happy, and to protect you.”
She nodded, slowly. “I want to believe you, I do. I just…I want to see how it goes.”
He bit his lip, disheartened.
“Logan, listen. I know you’re sincere. I’m just being cautious. I can promise you this - you’re the only one I’m thinking of now.”
She reached up and kissed him chastely.
He picked her up off the sand, and brushed the dirt and debris off her dress. “I never told you…you look beautiful tonight.”
She laughed, shaking sand out of her hair. “Yeah, I’m a real beaut.”
“You are,” he stated. Realizing this wasn’t registering with her, he caught her wrist in his hand. “You are. You look amazing. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you all night.”
“The things guys will say to get into a girl’s pants!” she mocked him, running away from him. He caught her from behind, and wrapped his arms around her. Whispering in one ear, he said “Okay, Miss Mars. We’re going home now.”
“To my house?”
“No. To the hotel. And we’re taking that pretty little dress off and getting your dirty little self into the shower.”
She gasped. “Logan! I am not showering with you.”
“Ha! That’s what you think,” and with that, he swept her up into his arms, carrying her to the Xterra.
--
The party had died down, and people filtered into their cars and limos. Keith and Alicia hugged each other as they stepped into a vintage Rolls Royce, rented to them by Cliff.
Wallace and Jackie, Weevil and Carmen, and Mac and Beaver decided amongst the six of them to get a hotel room to party. Wallace peered outside the tent, and saw a tall figure carrying his best friend toward a yellow vehicle. Grinning, he poked Jackie in the side. She looked to where he was looking, and smiled. Their plan had worked.
“And we didn’t have to do a thing, really.”
“We’re so smooth, girl.”
The six of them filed toward the line of cabs waiting in the parking lot.
--
He watched as Logan piled Veronica into the passenger seat of the Xterra. Veronica snaked a hand out and pulled Logan’s face to hers, kissing him softly once, twice, three times. He swallowed as he saw Logan kiss her forehead, tuck her into the car, and shut the door tightly. As the Xterra pulled away from the beach, he slowly took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and took one out. Placing it to his lips, he lit it with a match, and took a long drag.
--