rp for l_cuddy_md; and, eventually, harvard_law

[rubicks_complex]

House stood in front of the bathroom mirror, frowning at his reflection as he attempted to knot his necktie into some kind of neat looking knot. This was his fourth attempt and he was getting annoyed on top of already feeling agitated from nerves. Stupid that he was feeling nervous about having dinner with Cuddy because it was Cuddy he was having

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[l_cuddy_md]

Cuddy couldn't entirely disagree--things often seemed better through a haze of alcohol. Heaven knew a few of her dates would've been far more attractive with the benefit of a few pre-date shots of whiskey. The effect, though, was only temporary, and she'd learned back in college that those dates always looked much worse by morning light and with a hangover.

Still, leave it to House to find the most cynical explanation.

"You could make a little girl happy. You could make a big girl happy," she said, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. She gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes, as if she'd just now remembered to whom she was talking.

"Oh, right--Dr. Gregory House doesn't believe in happiness. Well, fine. We'll make our own music." Her tone was mild because she didn't really expect House to become some ukulele-playing hula accompanist. She wasn't sure she'd want him to either, because she could only imagine the sarcastic running commentary he'd make during the hula lessons. He'd be more of a disruption than a help. Even so, she was going to tease him about it.

"We'll make our own music...." She gave a big sigh, as if of regret. "And you'll just have to make your own lei."

[rubicks_complex]

"Happiness is a warm gun," he replied dryly when Cuddy said he didn't believe in happiness. "Anyway, you would be happy about that, but that wouldn't bring you happiness," he then argued.

His belief was that happiness was never a lasting thing, and if people claimed they had lasting happiness, then they were clearly in denial about something. People could be happy about something that had happened, but happiness itself was a myth, as far as House was concerned.

He rolled his eyes dramatically when Cuddy went on to say her and the kid would have to make their own music. "I could make my own lei, but you wouldn't last long before you'd want to lei your hands your hands on me and help me make my own lei."

He upturned his hand and stroked her inner wrist before lightly clasping his fingers around two of Cuddy's. "Seeing you haven't mentioned anything about this kid having parents here, I'm going to guess she's here on her own."

[l_cuddy_md]

"It wouldn't be all rainbows and kittens, but it would bring some happiness," she argued right back. That's how you found happiness, by finding smaller bits of happiness and gathering them in, joining them together until you had enough to withstand the unhappinesses in life. And she knew better than to try and convince House of that.

"I don't know--my hands might be too tired from all that hula-ing to lei you," she said, which was such an obvious lie she didn't even try to make it sound convincing. The real challenge would be to get her to keep her hands off of House. Frankly it was a challenge she had no interest in taking on.

She grimaced slightly when House asked about Lilo's situation. "No parents, although apparently she doesn't have any parents back home either. It's just her and an older sister." She gave House a smile that was slightly sad. She simply couldn't get past how wrong it was for Lilo to be here.

"I think you'll like Lilo. She's a resourceful little girl. She's managed to put together a sort of substitute family. And her dog's an alien."

[rubicks_complex]

"If you need to use your hands more than your hips to hula, then there's a strong possibility that you're doing it wrong," House said with a wry look. "Anyway, I thought yoga and all that new age contortionist crap would be more your thing. All you exercised-obsessed women endorse that kind of stuff; not hula dancing.

"Lap dancing, on the other hand... That's something every woman should endorse." He paused, looking thoughtful; knowing full well his joking comments could land him a slap. "Well, the decent-looking ones, at least."

He sobered when Cuddy told him about Lilo, about how she had no parents - and an alien dog? House blinked and then quirked his brows. "By 'alien', you mean something dog-ugly like a Peruvian Hairless, or E.T. on four legs?"

He paused again, studying her face. He'd noted the sad smile she'd given him a few moments ago. He could already tell, just from how fondly she spoke of this Lilo, that Cuddy was seriously taken by the kid. Which made House think about Cuddy being motherly, which then led him to think about Cuddy being a mother - which then led his thoughts towards the fact that he and Cuddy had had unprotected sex several times now. He pursed his lips and frowned at that thought. Shit.

"You know, if start getting any more cluckier over this kid than you obviously already are, you might want to keep a watch out for any sprouting feathers or eggs you might start laying."

[l_cuddy_md]

"Leave it to you to bring the tone down." Cuddy kicked House's leg under the table at his crack about lap dancing. Actually, it was more of a nudge. And done more out of habit than because she was truly offended. After all these years it would take more than a general comment about lap dancing to really piss her off.

"The dog's not here, but from the picture...it looks like a normal dog. But apparently it's from somewhere other than Earth." Cuddy had to wonder at the fact that she hadn't really questioned Lilo's story. After all, Lilo was at the perfect age to come up with a imaginative story like that. But Cuddy was getting so used to the weirdness that she wasn't questioning things like that any more. She didn't know if that was good or bad...or maybe just necessary to survive in this place.

"I'm not clucking," she insisted. And she was beginning to doubt she had any viable eggs left. She was beginning to think that whatever chance she'd had for having her own children was gone, or would be gone by the time they escaped from the hotel. It was a depressing thought, and one she didn't want to dwell on tonight.

"She'd just a kid, alone, and it's normal to want to protect her. Doesn't mean I'm getting 'maternal'." She gave House an exasperated look. From her own observations she knew House didn't dislike kids more than he disliked adults, and sometimes he disliked them less. He was just being an ass, as usual.

"Besides, it doesn't matter what I feel. Lilo's an independent little thing, and she's not looking for any maternal, or paternal, figure."

[rubicks_complex]

"Yeah, but that's not going to stop you, is it?" House argued. "Just because you say 'doesn't mean I'm getting maternal', doesn't mean you won't."

He had to admit: it was pretty bad the kid had no parents, resourceful and independent though Cuddy said she was or not. House wasn't that keen on kids (or at least made out that he wasn't) but that didn't mean he didn't give a crap about a kid's basic welfare. As far as he was concerned, kids could be annoying to the tenth power, but they weren't accountable for their choices and actions like an adult.

Still. He got that a kid without any parents would need some kind of adult supervision and guidance, but he sincerely hoped Cuddy wouldn't seek to take the kid under her wing like a mother hen.

"You're clucking," he insisted back at her. "I know what you're like: you like to take control of everything. You haven't got your hospital, your 'baby', to look after, so you're going to latch onto something else that needs looking after."

He gave her a pointed look, then started quietly making clucking sounds, like a chicken.

[l_cuddy_md]

"Oh...shut up," Cuddy said, scowling at him when he started clucking like a chicken. She pulled her hand away from his and reached for her water glass, taking a slow sip to give herself time to think.

"You make it sound as if I have purely selfish motives. As if I'd only care if I got something out of the deal." She quickly added, "And that's not an admission of impending maternal instincts."

She didn't understand House's objection to her taking care of anyone, other than the fact that he simply loved to irritate her. It wouldn't take anything away from him. She didn't need to take care of him any more. Detox was no longer an issue and as soon as the hotel refilled his Vicodin she wouldn't even be involved with his meds. So...so why did he care if she got maternal? In fact, if she was going to get maternal, who better to get maternal with than a motherless six year old?

"Why do you care whether I get maternal or not?" she asked, because she really wanted to know. Was this just a way to poke a stick at what he saw as a weakness in her or was it merely an expression of his general misanthropy?

[rubicks_complex]

About to triumphantly retort that there obviously was something in it for her when she more or less said she wouldn't care if she got something in return for looking out for the kid, his face dropped into a scowl when Cuddy quickly added onto that before he got a chance to say anything.

He gave his tie another yank, tugging at the knot like it was too tight before dropping his hands into his lap. Why did he care whether she got maternal or not? Because he didn't want to lose her attention to this kid, for a start. If Cuddy started going all maternal, then there was a chance he'd end up coming second to the kid. He didn't like coming second to anybody that mattered to him, didn't matter what the situation was.

Secondly... "Because who knows how much you desire to have kids," House said. "You getting all maternal on a kid might whet those desires into some kind of longing frenzy to fertilise your remaining ovums while you still can. Especially being stuck in here, where there's no way out and you're fast approaching the tail-end of your reproductive cycles. Could be your last chance to do the whole natural mother thing."

[l_cuddy_md]

"Of course I want kids. I've always...." Cuddy pressed her lips into a thin line and looked away. She wasn't going to let House upset her even if she couldn't help being upset by the subject.

There had been two things she'd always known she wanted in life: to be a doctor and to have a family. She'd known she'd have to work hard to become a doctor, and she had. But she'd sort of expected the family thing to just...happen. It hadn't, and she didn't quite know how to make it happen.

"But thanks for the reminder that I'm running out of time. Because being a doctor I wouldn't realize that myself," she said sharply. She was all too aware of her biological clock, and she resented the hotel for stealing the time she had left for childbearing. She was also aware that her relationship with House, even if it lasted, even if they got out of the hotel, it wasn't going to lead to marriage and kids. It was rapidly getting to the point where she'd have to accept that children weren't in the plan for her.

"Do you really think I'd deliberately bring a child into this place?" she asked, looking back at him with a serious expression. She couldn't believe House would think she was so in thrall to her biology that she'd try to get pregnant no matter what the circumstances.

She gave a little shake of her head. "I'm not that selfish."

[rubicks_complex]

One of the things Cuddy had made him promise before coming out to this meal was to not pick a fight - and watching the way Cuddy pressed her lips together and looked away, House then looked away, too, with a frustrated sigh. This was going to rapidly spiral into an argument if he kept pushing the subject. He didn't really want to get into a fight with Cuddy, but he couldn't help wanting to break down and analyse how Cuddy might perceive this Lilo kid and what it meant to her.

He glanced back at her with his eyes when she spoke next, sharply, and then looked away again with another sigh, puffing his cheeks out as he let the air exhale from his lips. Maybe he should just keep his mouth shut, let this subject slide for now, argue about it later when they weren't on a date.

"Not deliberately, but when you haven't got much of a choice left, who knows," he replied cynically, unable to keep his mouth shut even if he tried.

He then turned his gaze to Cuddy again. "Did I say you were selfish?" he shot back. "I said you were clucking. And you just said yourself you want kids. Naturally, you're going to look at this Annie orphan and think how unfair it is that she has no parents, and how unfair it is that you have no spawn to call your own."

He sighed and looked down at his lap. This evening really wasn't going to end well if he didn't shut it now. Or at least, try to find something else to talk about while he could. He wracked his brain for something to say, and found himself unable to come up with anything; he wasn't the greatest conversationalist when it came to knowing he was fucking things up and needed a way to unfuck them before they got fucked beyond repair.

"Your hair looks nice," he said gruffly, saying the first non-asshole thing that popped into his head.

[l_cuddy_md]

Not deliberately? What the hell did that mean? Because if he was implying that she was trying to 'accidently' get pregnant by forgetting the condom well...it took two to tango and House hadn't exactly been insistent on protection either. So...so she wasn't sure what her point was but she couldn't help but feel that she'd been insulted.

"There's always a choice, House. As much as I want a child I would rather stay childless than bring a child into a bad situation." Cuddy brought her hands up to massage her temples. She honestly didn't know what House's interest in the subject of children was other than to rub her nose in another of her failures.

And Lilo had nothing to do with it, even though House seemed to think the girl and Cuddy's desire to have children were somehow connected. She was worried about the little girl. And she was angry that Lilo had been put in this position but that had nothing to do with her own desire for children. That was simply common decency. As far as she was concerned it was the responsibility of any and all adults to protect a child.

"My hair?" She stared at House with a slightly befuddled expression, because that had come out of nowhere. She understood what he was trying to do, it was just such an abrupt turn and since House had brought up the subject she wanted him to understand.

"Yes, I want a child, and yes, I realize that's not likely to happen, not at this point in my life. And no, Lilo is not a surrogate. She doesn't want that and neither do I. Satisfied?" She gave him a pointed look, but her expression softened as she sighed. She didn't want to fight with him, especially not a pointless fight like this. She even smiled once she'd taken a moment to let the tension fade.

"You really do suck at compliments, you know that?"

[rubicks_complex]

He turned his head away to look across the dining room and scowled when Cuddy kept on about the whole kid issue. He wanted to believe her when she said the kid wasn't a surrogate, but the suspicious, pessimistic side of him refused to fully believe that statement. It was harder to dismiss, too, when unprotected sex was an issue between them. And he still couldn't shake the uncomfortable idea that Cuddy would place this kid's needs before him. Sure, this Lilo girl was apparently resourceful and independent but she was still a kid. And Cuddy was a person who quite clearly wanted kids, and... and...

He huffed at himself, deciding to try and dispel the thoughts from his mind for good, at least for now. Turning his gaze back to Cuddy, the scowl on his face relented into an awkward, crooked half-smile.

"At least I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not," he pointed out. "Besides, that's not completely true: I don't completely suck at giving compliments. I'm just better at giving compliments with my hands. Preferably in bed."

Relaxing a little more after that almost-argument they fell into, he gave Cuddy a knowing smirk. He then sobered and added with a shrug, "Most of the polite things people say are just pretense, anyway."

[l_cuddy_md]

"Is that what that was? I thought it was just blind lust," Cuddy said dryly. The thing about House and compliments was that he rarely gave them and often they weren't phrased very nicely but when he did make an effort it meant something because they were so rare. At least House wasn't a hypocrite. He refused to accept compliments as stubbornly as he refused to give them. She had to at least give him credit for some kind of integrity.

She leaned back in her chair and tried to let the argument go. She had a strong suspicion House didn't entirely believe her. He didn't trust her, but he didn't trust anyone so she shouldn't let herself be bothered by that aspect. She shouldn't be bothered, but she was and...that was nothing new.

"It's not all pretense," she countered. "And even when it is it's...it greases the wheels of social interaction." She shook her head, giving him a fondly indulgent smile, because House and social interactions went together like oil and water. Or nitroglycerin and a match. "I realize you don't care about playing nice but most people find it easier to get along with their fellow human beings."

Cuddy straightened up as she saw the zombie approaching with their meals. She nodded in his direction to let House know he was coming. "At least here we don't have to worry about whether to give our compliments to the chef...assuming there even is a chef."

[rubicks_complex]

"Yeah, and the only reason people play nice and polite is because they're cowards," he argued. "People are only polite because if people weren't it would lead to mutual destruction. They withhold what they really think about others for the purpose of avoiding conflict. If you unleash what you don't like about a person onto them, chances are they'll return the favor. So, people opt the coward's way out: mandatory politeness."

He reached for his drink just as Cuddy stiffened at the approach of someone. He turned his head and saw the zombie dude arriving at their table to deliver their food. House watched the guy set the plates down, then looked back up at him and studied his pale face curiously.

"Tell me: do brains taste nice?" he asked. He raised his brows when the guy turned to look at him with an eerily blank expression. He waited a beat to see if the guy would actually answer him and when he came to the conclusion that wasn't going to be the case, House added in a false friendly tone, "I only ask because you look like you're..."

He waved his hand at the guy and then pulled an exaggerated face while making a choking sound at the back of his throat; depicting what a zombie from a film behaved and looked like. The guy turned and started to walk off without a word, and House called after him, "What? I was only making polite conversation."

He looked back to Cuddy and rolled his eyes. "Zombies," he said with a scoff, as though coming across them was an ordinary, every day annoyance. Inwardly, he was a little creeped out by how stony these hotel dudes were. Dismissing that, however, he turned his attention down to his meal and picked up a fork to start stabbing at the steak. "I'm half expecting this thing to jump off the plate and bite me now," he joked.

He glanced up at Cuddy and gave her a brief smirk - and then panned his gaze across to someone that caught his eye. His face dropped, almost startled to see Stacy approaching their table. His spine stiffened when he caught eye contact with her. He darted his gaze from Stacy to Cuddy and back again and by the time Stacy was standing by the table he wasn't sure where to look.

The memories of having last spoken to her, the fight they'd had, came rushing back, along with the feeling of apprehension he felt at the fact that Stacy was here in the hotel; a fact he still hadn't come to terms with. Wasn't sure if he ever was going to come to terms with. He gave Cuddy an uncomfortable look and then turned his attention up to Stacy when she greeted them with 'hi'.

"Not yet, but I soon will be," he replied, not knowing how else to respond to this painfully awkward situation except to crack a cynical joke.

[l_cuddy_md]

"Well, you know most of us think avoiding mutual destruction is a good thing," Cuddy said. What she didn't add was that in House's case there was an element of self-destruction. Honestly, the way he deliberately antagonized people she couldn't help but think that he wanted to be punched out, strange as that seemed.

"Honesty is good, but it also matters why you're being honest. I completely agree with telling someone a difficult truth in order to help them. But if you're being honest in order to hurt someone with the truth...in that case I think it's better to keep your mouth shut."

Cuddy merely watched, shaking her head as House tried to provoke a reaction from the zombie. She kind of wished he wouldn't do it. God only knew what would happen if he did manage to goad one of the servants into action. On the other hand, better House pick on them than on her.

"If that steak starts chasing you, you're on your own," she teased, slicing into her own grilled chicken breast. "Because I'd be out of here in like two seconds."

She looked up from her plate just as House's expression changed. Puzzled, she started to turn, only to hear a familiar voice. Momentarily speechless, she stared up at Stacy. A million thoughts went through her head: how Stacy must be feeling now that she was trapped, what little Cuddy knew about House's feelings about Stacy, her own somewhat conflicted feelings, the fact that she and House were on a date and gee, here's his ex....

"Stacy," she said, reaching out to grasp Stacy's hand and give it a squeeze. "House said you were here. How are you?"