Rp for l_cuddy_md
House ended up going back to his room, after meeting that blonde woman down in the lobby. He'd had a crap enough day as it was; the way the morning had turned out with Cuddy, meeting Wilson in the bar, getting punched in the face by John. Yeah, he wasn't interested in his day getting any more crap than it already was, and hanging around downstairs
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Because he was right. He should've stuck with his stripper. And she should've kept whatever feelings were simmering in her subconscious right where they were--deeply buried. There'd been no danger in going on as they'd always been and even if they'd been missing something by doing that...well, if you never had it, then you didn't feel any loss.
Cuddy didn't really hear most of the rest of what House said. She was too caught up in his obvious distaste for the fact that she'd liked being with him because it was him. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, and her face in her hands as House wound down his rambling spiel that apparently had something to do with the fact that he thought she was like a disease.
"Fine, I get it," she said flatly. Then she shook her head. "No, actually, I don't. I have no idea what you're going on about."
She really was confused now. She assumed he was talking about her, that she wouldn't be able to ignore it, stop thinking about it. Which was true, but she'd deal with it herself. He could file the whole experience away under 'just another fuck' or maybe 'banging the boss' and life would go on. Unless he was saying he couldn't stop thinking about it, in which case...was he fixated on the good parts or the bad parts? And which was which in his mind?
"The point is...do you want it to go away?" she said, sitting up and pushing the hair back from her face. "Because if you do...then just walk away. I promise I'll never mention it again."
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He sighed irritably, frustrated that he had to somehow elaborate on what he was saying to make it make sense to her. He'd deliberately chosen to try and tell her what he was thinking through talking in metaphors so it didn't feel so personal. He made a few aborted attempts to try and answer her question without being direct, then gave an exasperated toss of his head.
"No, you don't get it," he snapped. "Clearly you haven't been listening to a word I've said."
He shuffled about restlessly on the spot before he began to pace across to the other side of her room, rubbing his hand against his forehead, then the bruise along his jaw. God, he sucked at this talking it out crap. What made it harder was not knowing exactly what it was he and Cuddy had. Definitely not a relationship. Definitely not easy sex, either.
"Look," he continued after a pause. He turned around to face her again, throwing her a highly agitated and impatient look. "If I wanted it to go away, do you think I'd still be here in this room? No. I would've taken my pill and left."
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She watched House pace unable, apparently, to simply say what he wanted to say. Or maybe he was just as confused as she was. Which seemed to be the case when he told her he didn't want it to go away, and that confused her because wasn't he the one who wanted no strings, no mess sex?
"Just...give me a minute," she said. She tried to ignore his agitation and concentrate. She didn't know how she thought she was going to come up with an explanation when she hadn't been able to think of a reasonable one all day. She had to try, though, or this was going to loom over them, affecting everything they said or did.
"Last night was good, for both of us," she began slowly. "And maybe for me it's more than just the physical but you said you didn't want complications and I agreed. So everything was fine...wasn't it?"
That, of course, was where the confusion came in. What they'd agreed to and what was really going on seemed to be two different things. She shoved that aside, though, to puzzle over later. She was trying to keep it simple for now, and the simple fact was that they'd had a good time. Good sex, and they'd enjoyed each other's company. It had been good that morning, too: fun, exciting, hot, right uptil the moment they'd realized they'd just had unprotected sex.
"You didn't get upset until you realized we'd forgotten the condom. That...scared you?" she asked, because she really wasn't sure what it was, other than the obvious threat of pregnancy, that had freaked him out. "I get that, because it was like a slap in the face for me, too. But...it was an accident. It happens, even to people who know better. As smart as we think we are, we're not immune to doing stupid things."
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He resumed pacing, tossing her question about in his mind: so everything was fine... wasn't it? It was supposed to be fine. It was just supposed to be sex, like he'd argued over and over with himself in his mind. So, why the confused feelings? Why this strange sense of attachment, or whatever the hell it was? Maybe he really was just going mad and this was how it was manifesting; the Hotel fucking with his mind. Except he really, truly did like what he and Cuddy had shared. And he remembered at the time hoping it would happen again. And again. And hopefully again.
"It wasn't just an accident," he argued once he was in the centre of the room again. He turned to face Cuddy with an accusing look on his face. "Getting out of control like that wasn't an accident. You don't accidentally forget to put on a condom. What happened was a complete loss of control, and I don't know what the hell that means."
He went to face away to continue pacing, but changed his mind. "Everything was fine. Up until that part. Everything would continue to be 'fine' if it wasn't for that." He threw his hand out in gesture to the bed she was sitting on. "I'd probably be in there with you right now if it wasn't for this whole... thing."
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"And you'd be welcome in my bed." She stopped to study his face, her chest tightening in response to what she thought she saw there. "But that's not going to happen, is it? Because you don't know what it means. Well, guess what--I don't know what it means either."
She had a pretty good idea of what it meant, or what it might come to mean. She thought she even had a pretty good idea of what it meant to House as well. It meant he cared at least a little bit, crazy as that seemed.
She wanted to try to convince him that that it was okay to not know what it meant right now. That it was okay if turned out to mean more. It would be okay even if it turned out to mean less. But the truth was House had been acting skittish even before the condom fiasco. He'd been wary of her kissing him, wearing his shirt.... If he was going to be suspicious of everything she did, worrying about what it all meant, then she'd be an idiot to push him. She'd end up ruining their friendship.
Christ. why the hell couldn't she ever do anything right when it came to men?
Cuddy rose from the bed and walked to House. She knew that would make him wary, too, but she had to say this directly to his face.
"Whatever this means, I'm pretty sure it's not what you want." She took one more step to close the remaining distance between them and rose up on the balls of her feet to kiss his cheek. "Go back to fucking your stripper. It's easy, it's uncomplicated, it's safe.... It's what you want."
As she turned away she added under her breath, "Just don't tell me about it when you do."
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He ended up frowning at her words. She was pretty sure it wasn't what he wanted? He had barely any time to think further into what she'd said before she was arching up to his kiss his cheek. He darted his eyes around the room when he felt her lips brush against his cheek, and then started to respond, started to turn his face in towards hers to press his cheek a little firmer against her lips, maybe even seek to kiss her on the mouth because, damn it, he didn't know what any of this meant but he couldn't deny wanting to somehow reengage what they had the night before.
But she pulled away before he got a chance to really react at all, and he stared down at her as she told him to go back to Alice because it was what he wanted. And then she was turning away.
God damn it, Alice was not what he wanted. As for uncomplicated and safe... Well, it was too late to wish for that now. But screwing Alice wasn't what he wanted. Not at all. Before giving himself a chance to think about it, he reached out to quickly grab her arm and tugged her to face him again.
"No, it's not," he replied sharply. "I don't want her. Don't tell me what I do and don't want."
He gave Cuddy a hard look. Not wanting to screw Alice didn't take away the wish for this to be easy and complicated. But it seemed the more they talked about this, the more House wasn't sure what he wanted other than the fact that there was this part of him that wanted Cuddy and how the hell did that fit in with not wanting complicated?
Well, fuck it. This was complicated enough as it was and what more did he have to lose? This wasn't going to go away on its own no matter how much House could try and will it to, and this wasn't going to become any clearer to him right now, either. He tugged her in closer to him and stooped down to meet her mouth with his. She would either kiss back, or shove him away, or maybe even slap him. Or demand to know what the hell he was doing, to which he wouldn't have a clear answer. Or, hell, maybe this was his answer, that despite all the complications Cuddy was what he wanted. Or something. Or--
He clamped down on the whirlwind of thoughts going through his head and insistently sought to kiss her.
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"I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm trying to...to...." She let out an exasperated sigh. Damned if she knew what she was trying to do. She didn't want him to go back to the stripper, but she thought that's what he wanted. She thought he wanted to be free of entanglements.
Then he was kissing her and regardless of what her mind was thinking, her body responded. She leaned into him, rising up a bit on the balls of her feet to meet his mouth. She let him control the kiss at first, then began to challenge him.
"House," she murmured as she pulled back. She rested her palm against his chest and looked up at him. This wasn't going to get uncomplicated. Given who was involved--how could it be anything but messed up? Assuming they really were going to try to do...this.
Maybe that was the way to deal with it--to simply accept the fact that anything that involved her and House was bound to be a struggle. They'd battled all the way through their professional lives. Looked like their personal lives wouldn't be any different.
"Just so we're clear--whatever this is, it is not a relationship," she said finally. Because she sucked at relationships. She had a long, dismal record with the opposite sex to prove it. She didn't want that to happen with House.
Then she wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him down for another kiss.
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He just nodded to her assertion that this wasn't a relationship. Deep down, he wasn't sure he believed that because this wouldn't be so damn confusing if it was just sex.. or whatever this was. It just seemed much easier to give into the physical over bothering to figure out the reason behind it all. This wasn't dealing with the issue at all and House knew that. He didn't want to deal with it, because so long as Cuddy wanted him as much as he wanted Cuddy, then what need was there to look beyond that? Looking beyond the sex meant that they'd be delving into areas pertaining to relationships, and...
Cuddy's hand on the back of his neck prompted House to once again shove his thoughts aside, and he let himself be pulled down towards her for another kiss. He threw his cane away from him so it landed on the bed and used both hands to grip Cuddy tight around the waist as he quickly deepened the kiss, sucking her lower lip into his mouth and then sliding his tongue in against hers. It was weird how getting physical with Cuddy made the doubts and questions in his mind evaporate, and it was equally as weird how quickly turned on he was by her.
He slid his hands down from her waist to her ass and groped it, pulling her flush against him while he sucked softly on her tongue.
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The fact that it was House this time...that was not a cause for optimism. She was still hopeful enough to think it was possible that she could make some kind of relationship work with him. But she didn't think it was probable.
"You're too damn tall," she muttered, guiding him back toward the bed. Once he was seated, she straddled his legs. She put one knee on the mattress next to his hip and leaned forward to continue the kiss. She ran her fingers through his unruly hair as she kissed along his jaw line. The stubble made her lips burn, and she returned the softer heat of his mouth.
All the while the little voice kept chanting in the back of her mind, but it was fading. Screw it, she thought. The sex was good and House was...maybe not the obvious choice of partner, but when he wasn't being a deliberate ass he was funny and intelligent and she could do worse. She had done worse.
"Kissing's good. Naked would be better," she suggested.
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Cuddy offering flirtatious conversation made it even easier to forget this was a bad idea. House found himself quickly falling into the mood they'd both established last night, and this morning before everything went wrong, and he smirked at her as he pulled back.
"I like how you think," he replied, slipping his fingers underneath her shirt. He rumpled her shirt up over her belly and chest, exposing her chest, and he leaned in to kiss her sternum before moving across to her left breast. He closed his mouth over her nipple through the material of her bra and sucked softly before biting down gently. He teased her nipple with his tongue, at the same time urging her to pull her shirt right off and once she had, House hooked his finger over the cup of her bra and tugged it down so her left breast spilled out.
He studied it as he cupped her breast in his hand and rubbed his thumb over her nipple, then looked up to her face to watch her reaction. Bad idea though this might've been, one thing House had discovered during their last couple of sexual escapades is that he simply loved how Cuddy reacted to the way he touched her; how unashamed she was at visibly and vocally displaying how much she liked it.
"I think naked is the breast idea you've had in a while, Dr. Cuddy," House said, keeping his face schooled in mock seriousness. Before she could respond to that straight away, House pinched her nipple between his fingers and gently twisted it, raising his brows with smug interest at the way she reacted to that.
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She closed her eyes and gave voice to a series of soft moans as House toyed with her breast. There'd been a time when she was younger that she'd been self-conscious about the noises she made, the way she looked during sex. She'd tried to control her reactions which meant she rarely ever fully gave herself over to the pleasure. She'd gotten less self-conscious, and more selfish, as she got older. Now she didn't try to censor herself. If it felt good, she reacted.
Her eyes snapped open at House's play on words, but the twist to her nipple snatched away the breath she needed to protest. She squirmed until the pressure eased, her fingers entwined in his hair. Then she fixed House with a look of mild rebuke. "You're definitely talking too much. And, I might point out, not naked."
She unhooked her bra and tossed it in the general direction of the dresser. Then she went to work on House's shirt, wrestling it off with very little finesse. She bent down to kiss across the slope of his shoulder and ran her hands up his bare chest, pushing him back until he was flat on the bed. She leaned over him, kissing him deeply as she massaged circles over his nipples with her palms.
She pulled back from the kiss, gently tugging his lower lip with her teeth. She glanced down at their lower bodies, then looked back at his face. "Hmmm. Still not naked."
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He definitely liked it when a woman took charge in bed the way Cuddy did. Cuddy instantly taking charge like she was now completely distracted House from any lingering thoughts about how bad an idea this probably was. One thing for sure was, he was definitely right that time he made the comment to cuddy about her being in her sexual prime. She seemed insatiable once she was aroused.
He helped get out of his shirt by shaking the sleeves off his arms, his hands then seizing her breasts again as she leaned in and kissed his shoulder. Then he was being pushed back against the bed and kissed, and he ran his hands from her breasts around to her back, stroking his fingers up and down it before tangling a hand in her hair. Cuddy's aggressiveness left House feeling a little dizzy, and when she pulled back from the hungry kiss to look down at him, House had an eager expression on his face by the time they met eyes again.
"You should probably do something about that, too," he yet again agreed. Though, he then gripped her hips with his hands and pushed her to the side, and rolled over with a grunt towards her. He kissed her mouth, fondling her breast in his hand, before he got himself off bed. Moving between her legs which were dangling off the edge of the bed, House stood over her as he stretched his hands towards the waistband of her pants.
"On second thoughts, allow me." He popped the button down, then the zip and then hooked his fingers into her pants to slide them down her hips. "You got your fun first last night. My turn to go first."
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She raised her arms over her head and stretched as House unfastened her jeans. She lifted her hips so that he could pull them down her legs and drop them to the floor. Before he could move too far, though, she raised one leg and hooked it around his waist, keeping him close between her legs. She reached down and unbuckled his belt, watching his face as she slowly dragged his zipper down.
She'd been doing a pretty good job of ignoring her earlier concerns, but as House shucked his jeans off, she realized there was one concern she couldn't afford to ignore. Psychologically, they couldn't handle another condom problem. She didn't have any though, which meant that one of them was going to have to run over to House's room. She turned her head to look at the chair next to the bed where she'd left her robe. And as she did, she saw a box of condoms on the bedside table.
She stared at the box. She knew it hadn't been there earlier. To say she was disconcerted by its appearance would be an understatement. She was weirded out. How the hell...?
Cuddy deliberately rolled her head away from the table and closed her eyes. She wasn't going to think about this damn hotel right now. Sex with House was the best thing that had happened since she got here, and she wasn't going to let any creepiness ruin the mood.
Still lying flat on her back, she opened her eyes and looked up at House. She smiled to let him know her momentary silence hadn't been the result of anything he'd done.
"So...I believe you were saying something about having fun?"
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He was a little reassured by her smile. Her then asking what he was saying about fun gave him an excuse to return his focus on what he was doing, and he stubbornly pushed aside his uncertainty her being silent had caused. He slid his hands down her thighs and then slapped her thigh playfully. "Move up the bed and I'll show you."
As she scooted back to the centre of the bed, House peeled his briefs off and crawled onto the bed after her, commando crawling his way up to her body. Settling beside her, he smoothed his hand onto her belly and met her mouth, kissing her deeply while he let his hand explore, from her stomach up to her breasts.
"I think the question of the day should be," he murmured against her mouth as he walked his fingers back down her body towards the direction of her crotch, "how patient is Lisa Cuddy?"
His fingers reached just above her pubic bone and he caressed it teasingly, pulling back from her mouth to look at her face. He slid his hand down a little further, as if he was about to start teasing her stroking her where she wanted it most, then quickly diverted his hand to her inner thigh instead.
"Not patient enough," he observed with a smirk, giving her thigh a squeeze.
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"I think last night pretty conclusively proved I have very little patience." That wasn't entirely true, and she was pretty sure House knew that. Her complaints and frustration were real, but she enjoyed the slow, tantalizing build up. The anticipation added to her arousal, and she certainly enjoyed the payoff. She always came hard after that kind of foreplay.
She pulled her knee up slightly, opening herself up, and groaned when House's hand made another close pass. Close, but not close enough. It was all she could do to resist the urge to simply reach down and stroke herself. But that would be cheating.
"Just remember--what goes around, comes around," she warned. She knew she could wipe the smirk right off his face. She had plans, after all. Sort of. Her plans hadn't really gotten any further than the determination to make him beg, but she figured she'd improvise when she got the opportunity. For now, though, she was willing to let him control the pace.
She made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat when his finger brushed across her clit and around her entrance before his hand moved back to her thigh. She almost laughed, though, as she pulled him into a heated kiss.
"I should've known you'd be a sadist."
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"If you have a problem with me being a sadist, now's your time to voice your complaint," he continued, letting her breast go and running his hand back down over her stomach. He looked down at her body, at her breasts, her belly, her hips, her thighs as his hand moved steadily further south -- god, he loved women. Their bodies, their soft curves, their femininity. Even better if their body was a good as Cuddy's. Up until the sex last night, it had been a long while since he truly appreciated a woman's body, and boy, did he appreciate Cuddy's. He indulged in it, even, which was why he enjoyed taking his sweet time indulging in foreplay with her.
His hand slid over her pubic mound and his fingers moved onto her clit, and started to slowly stroke her as he looked back up to her face again. "No complaints?" he asked her to moan. Then he smirked. "Didn't think so."
He rubbed and teased her, experimentally moving his fingers around to different parts of her sex to see what reactions he could gage from her. The more aroused she became, the firmer he stroked her until he stretched his finger down to her entrance and gently slid his finger in part way, and kept it there. He grinned at Cuddy, letting her ride against his finger in frustration before he granted her some relief by pushing his finger in deeper and stroking her gently on the inside.
His grin widened at the sounds she was making. "Hold that thought," he said when she gave a particularly loud moan, and he started to slide down her body. He withdrew his finger and kept shifting down until he was settled between her thighs, and he gave a few teasing licks to her clit.
"L'chayim," he announced as he looked down at her and rubbed his finger over her clit. He then spread her open and lowered his mouth. He touched her clit with his tongue again and began to softly stroke it; just enough to torture her, not enough to be satisfying.
He alternated the feel of his tongue from pliant to firm, stopping every now and again to suck on her clit. He pulled back every time she seemed to be getting too aroused and deliberately left her hanging to get herself under control while he ran his hands up and down her inner thighs. The great thing about giving a woman oral sex was the pace House could set himself -- Cuddy was completely at his mercy, and House loved every minute of it.
"You were saying?" he asked smugly, smirking up at her as he teased her entrance with his finger, then began to push the full length of his finger inside her.
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