if only it would have been someone else...

[rubdub]

to love is an art. it's almost as if, some people are so talented and then you find the some that aren't so much. but no matter what, everyone can make art, and it will be beautiful to someone, if only one person. my art is not put on a canvas. my art is put in to notes, my art is hidden to most. i want him to be able to see when i'm upset. to know the words to say when i have had a bad day. i pray for him, to pray that he has the strength to love me, and for me to love him right back. i was not happy when i was with brian. i never could be michele, i was so afraid he would judge me and decide he wouldn't love me. but no matter what i did, he decided on his own. i fell, and i fell hard, but i will get up again. there are two very special people in my life (beth and kat) who show me that i can be helped back up. i know i am loved, i am extremely blessed. i am so grateful for everything i have, but i am missing something. i would have given him the world. i would have done anything for him just to make him happy, to make him stay forever. when he held me i never wanted him to let me go. when he pulled me closer, i wanted to say there therest of my life, to hear that same heart beat every day until the day that i died. but i should have known better. they do leave.. i thought i wasn't good enough.. for either of them. how can yo ube good enough for a man to love you "like that" when yo ucan't even get the one man in your life who is supposed to love you unconditionally to love you. but i am so wrong. they are not good enough for my love. i will be happy someday... maybe not today.. maybe not tomorrow or a year from now, but i will be someday, because i have faith. i have faith that no matter how lonely i may feel i nthis world, that i'm not alone. i have GOD and i have family and friends who will be there for me when i fall. i love you all, and thank you for picking me back up.
Michele