wow...
so it was right to life month this month. we talked about abortion at church tonight..it really got me thinking. what is life all about? is it about who can wear the cutest clothes to school on any given day? or who you like or likes yo uback? so many people put emphasis on materials that they forget who they were planned to be. i don't know who i am suposed to be..."trying to find my way the best that i know how..." my fav. quote in the whole world. lifehouse (a bnad who is coming to the swamp) wrote these words on their first album. it tells in those few words life to me. no one knows what they were meant for. it pains me to see how the quality of life for a few of my close friends have gone down in the few years that ihave known them. i love you guys (you know who yo uare). i love everything you have done for me, without you girls..i wouldn't be michele. i care so much about what people think about yo ueven if yo udont and i care what you do to yourselves even if yo udon't, because that is what i am supposed to do. God put me here to watch you. i feel the need to protect yo ueven if yo udon't want me to. no matter what yo udo i will love yo uand never look at you differently. but i wish yo uwould realize your potential for greatness. when y ouare in pain, i am to. when yo ulet boys affect you, they affect me and i hate that. i hate that ilet boys affect me. i ahte that i let boys affect my raltionship with the only person in this world who loves me no matter what. i can be the BIGGEST bitch and she comes back for more. back o nthe subject of life. chances are the biggest gift God gives us next to love. to take a chance is like leaping off a bridge and not knowing where you are gonna land .you could land on concrete, in water, or on an inflatable net. you never know what is going ot be there to catch your fall ,and that is the exitement. take chances people. life isn't fair. you get hurt, your heart breaks and yo uface dissapointment, but at least yo ucan say yo utried. i hurt for 14 years of my life. i felt alone, and unloved by one of the people in my life who was supposed to be there for me always. he wasn't, ever, but itook a chance on him. my dad is one of my best friends. sure he isn not the best father, but i know he would kill for me, and it just took me a while to ralize this. i see how you hurt, how these guys make yo ufeel, how your family makes yo ufeel. i see how i;ve made yo ufeel at times, and i'm sorry for that. but take a chance on me, and all those who have hurt you. you all are amazing beautiful people. in a few short weeks i will be 18 years old. i will be able to buy a car, get married, play the lottery and so many other thingis never thoughti would be able to do. but it's here. my time has come, and i have not done anything in the past 18 years that were worth while. so i;ve decided to change all of this. i've decided to take control of my life. i have decided to find what i was meant to do. i won't give in to pressures that come along likei have been (i don't blame this on anyone but myself). i have decided to get healthy so i can grow to see all my girls get married and their children get married. i want to watch over yo uguys and make surei am doing my part as a friend. i know all of this is so easy to say, but the reason i am writing it down is not to ahve something to say, but it's to ask for help. i don't do it often , but right now i really need it. i need you (you people know who you are) to help me...help me find myself..help me find my purpose..who knows i may surprise yo uall and wind up doing something great :o)
KAthryn...thank you so much. you have no idea how much yo uraelly mean to me. i don't know why you put up with me. i can not believe our summer was wasted on that kid. he's really not worth it. i love you. i always knew that there was a person out there to be my hero..and i found her. i don't care if yo uwant to believe it or not..but yo uare so beautiful..and not just physically. yo uare hot..lol but yo uare sop much more. you always know what ot say to make me feel better..you are my savior, my angel. you are so smart, yo uhave so much potential and i want to see you reach it. i want ot see yo utake chances...you will neverk now if yo udon't take that leap. who knows...but always know, that every chance yo utake that doesn't turn out right...i will be there to catch you...along with that pavement..i will be right next to you. i love you sis!
ashley...no matter what yo udo..i will always be there for you. yo ucould kill a man and i would still love you. i worry about you kid...i worry bout you so much, but i know that yo uwill learn..from everything yo udo i hope yo utake with you a little peice of experience and knowledge. you are so gorgeous...don't ever think that you are not enough..you are more than enough for me. you have no idea the things yo uahve done from me. i learn from you all the time and yo uhave ni clue. please talk to me...about everything..don't be scared to tell me sutff...cuz i will love yo ufor it. and always know how much yo uare worht and how much you deserve in this world..cuz it's sa lot..and don't let men get ya down..cuz you will find him one day..and he will love you more than you can even think..just don't let random people get in the way of you finding him ok? i love you india :o)
betholemew... oo giirl..lol man have we been through some SHIT. but everything we go through makes me love yo ua little more. you always love me. i know we don't get along regularly..but we were meant to be friends. please figure out what yo uwant. please figure out that yo udeserve so much more than you are getting. you deserve love...TRUE love..not just what yo uthink is love. if they truly love you ..tehy take time..youwill find the right one someday...and he will be SOOO much more than you can imagine. he will lovey o ualmost as much and me kat and ashley do. just remember who loved yo ufirst! :O)
so i know this was tres long..but i needed to get my point across. life is too short to not live it. it's os precious. God gives yo uone to live...so please, do what he intended for you..notwhat yo uwant to do for yourself...live for him..not anyone else. and love....love more than your heart can.
KAthryn...thank you so much. you have no idea how much yo uraelly mean to me. i don't know why you put up with me. i can not believe our summer was wasted on that kid. he's really not worth it. i love you. i always knew that there was a person out there to be my hero..and i found her. i don't care if yo uwant to believe it or not..but yo uare so beautiful..and not just physically. yo uare hot..lol but yo uare sop much more. you always know what ot say to make me feel better..you are my savior, my angel. you are so smart, yo uhave so much potential and i want to see you reach it. i want ot see yo utake chances...you will neverk now if yo udon't take that leap. who knows...but always know, that every chance yo utake that doesn't turn out right...i will be there to catch you...along with that pavement..i will be right next to you. i love you sis!
ashley...no matter what yo udo..i will always be there for you. yo ucould kill a man and i would still love you. i worry about you kid...i worry bout you so much, but i know that yo uwill learn..from everything yo udo i hope yo utake with you a little peice of experience and knowledge. you are so gorgeous...don't ever think that you are not enough..you are more than enough for me. you have no idea the things yo uahve done from me. i learn from you all the time and yo uhave ni clue. please talk to me...about everything..don't be scared to tell me sutff...cuz i will love yo ufor it. and always know how much yo uare worht and how much you deserve in this world..cuz it's sa lot..and don't let men get ya down..cuz you will find him one day..and he will love you more than you can even think..just don't let random people get in the way of you finding him ok? i love you india :o)
betholemew... oo giirl..lol man have we been through some SHIT. but everything we go through makes me love yo ua little more. you always love me. i know we don't get along regularly..but we were meant to be friends. please figure out what yo uwant. please figure out that yo udeserve so much more than you are getting. you deserve love...TRUE love..not just what yo uthink is love. if they truly love you ..tehy take time..youwill find the right one someday...and he will be SOOO much more than you can imagine. he will lovey o ualmost as much and me kat and ashley do. just remember who loved yo ufirst! :O)
so i know this was tres long..but i needed to get my point across. life is too short to not live it. it's os precious. God gives yo uone to live...so please, do what he intended for you..notwhat yo uwant to do for yourself...live for him..not anyone else. and love....love more than your heart can.