(no subject)
This makes me want to work at Best Buy like woah. <3
Ah, those magical days when I was just out of college and finding myself.
By which I mean, finding myself flat broke and unemployable with a degree in English. Keep in mind, kids, that myth about "it doesn't matter what you have a degree in, so long as you have a degree?" Yeah, total myth.
So I find myself at 23 with a BA and working part time at Best Buy to pay my rent. Granted, I did learn a number of important lessons during my time there. Most of them revolving around specs for the X-Box 360 and release dates for various games. But some of those lessons were lessons in LIFE. Life, my dear readers, and LOVE.
For you see, sometimes you want to cut ties from you significant other, but you want to do it in such a way that you maintain a seemingly friendly relationship. This in many ways is like when you are working retail, and need to express something to a customer in such a way that will not turn them off from you and your store, but will make you seem very "professional" and allude to the idea that you are doing this entirely for THEIR sake.
So, I present to you, a Former Best Buy Employee's Guide to Break Up Lines:
10. "Product was not as advertised." instead of "You have the smallest dick I have EVER seen."
9. "A competing store made a better offer." instead of "I found someone who actually wants to go out to the movies instead of sit on their ass and play Halo 3."
8. "I was not aware of the multi-user functions." instead of "So, you not only cheated on me, it was with my BEST FRIEND?"
7. "Product does not suit my current needs." instead of "You are an immature son of a bitch."
6. "There were compatiblity errors." instead of "Fuck your biological clock, I don't want three kids before I turn 30!"
5. "I purchased the wrong version!" instead of "Your brother is hotter, anyway."
4. "Not willing to invest in product as well as add-ons." instead of "I hate your friends."
3. "Product only worked correctly in certain circumstances." instead of "You act like we're not together in public and it pisses me off."
2."Disc was purchased scratched and skips continually." instead of "You suck at dirty talk."
1. "Product was found to be severely defective, major manufacturer errors and a choking hazard to children. It has been recalled and the company plans to pull it from the market completely, will not be bothering with a new version." instead of "You're Kevin Federline."
Ah, those magical days when I was just out of college and finding myself.
By which I mean, finding myself flat broke and unemployable with a degree in English. Keep in mind, kids, that myth about "it doesn't matter what you have a degree in, so long as you have a degree?" Yeah, total myth.
So I find myself at 23 with a BA and working part time at Best Buy to pay my rent. Granted, I did learn a number of important lessons during my time there. Most of them revolving around specs for the X-Box 360 and release dates for various games. But some of those lessons were lessons in LIFE. Life, my dear readers, and LOVE.
For you see, sometimes you want to cut ties from you significant other, but you want to do it in such a way that you maintain a seemingly friendly relationship. This in many ways is like when you are working retail, and need to express something to a customer in such a way that will not turn them off from you and your store, but will make you seem very "professional" and allude to the idea that you are doing this entirely for THEIR sake.
So, I present to you, a Former Best Buy Employee's Guide to Break Up Lines:
10. "Product was not as advertised." instead of "You have the smallest dick I have EVER seen."
9. "A competing store made a better offer." instead of "I found someone who actually wants to go out to the movies instead of sit on their ass and play Halo 3."
8. "I was not aware of the multi-user functions." instead of "So, you not only cheated on me, it was with my BEST FRIEND?"
7. "Product does not suit my current needs." instead of "You are an immature son of a bitch."
6. "There were compatiblity errors." instead of "Fuck your biological clock, I don't want three kids before I turn 30!"
5. "I purchased the wrong version!" instead of "Your brother is hotter, anyway."
4. "Not willing to invest in product as well as add-ons." instead of "I hate your friends."
3. "Product only worked correctly in certain circumstances." instead of "You act like we're not together in public and it pisses me off."
2."Disc was purchased scratched and skips continually." instead of "You suck at dirty talk."
1. "Product was found to be severely defective, major manufacturer errors and a choking hazard to children. It has been recalled and the company plans to pull it from the market completely, will not be bothering with a new version." instead of "You're Kevin Federline."