(no subject)
Well first and formose happy thanksgiveing...
and God knows im thankful for a HELL of alot of stuff...
but i needed to spill alittle bit of my heart becuase i dont feel good inside...
well wrestling + any contact sports are over for me..for a long time... i messed up my neck and back and i still sit in pain that im not sopose to have.. my senior year gone.. its sopose to be the greatest year..but right now ive lost touch and i know it...i slaped my self and realized that im startin to slip away..and i need to focus on my life..and not fuck it up because theres still so much ahead of me.. well its been a week..and every day ive been messed up...and i didnt realize it till today...and it saddend me...im just thankful im still alive..though i havent given up on life fully yet...im takein a break..i think im gonna turn my phone off for the rest of the weekend..people know where i live..so meh...
well i got a job at red lobster..i have oreantation the 30th so back to workin i go..i enjoyed my break but i guess i cant be a bum for too long..i just hope i make decent money..
i feel as if ive stept in to the wrong crowd...well not the wrong crowd..but i guess im movein with them more than usual instead of movein my way..all ive been doin is smokein pot and popin xanx i guess thats why i dont remember much..but my has it been fun..but i have no money now..and i dont start workin for at leist a week...i guess that helpt me remember there is a life that needs to be lived..ive pushed this one person away and i feel so bad..she was like my right hand gurl..and i miss her being there..
i dont know who i am...but i know who i want to be...and what i am now is truly the wrong direction..
so will you forgive me?
and God knows im thankful for a HELL of alot of stuff...
but i needed to spill alittle bit of my heart becuase i dont feel good inside...
well wrestling + any contact sports are over for me..for a long time... i messed up my neck and back and i still sit in pain that im not sopose to have.. my senior year gone.. its sopose to be the greatest year..but right now ive lost touch and i know it...i slaped my self and realized that im startin to slip away..and i need to focus on my life..and not fuck it up because theres still so much ahead of me.. well its been a week..and every day ive been messed up...and i didnt realize it till today...and it saddend me...im just thankful im still alive..though i havent given up on life fully yet...im takein a break..i think im gonna turn my phone off for the rest of the weekend..people know where i live..so meh...
well i got a job at red lobster..i have oreantation the 30th so back to workin i go..i enjoyed my break but i guess i cant be a bum for too long..i just hope i make decent money..
i feel as if ive stept in to the wrong crowd...well not the wrong crowd..but i guess im movein with them more than usual instead of movein my way..all ive been doin is smokein pot and popin xanx i guess thats why i dont remember much..but my has it been fun..but i have no money now..and i dont start workin for at leist a week...i guess that helpt me remember there is a life that needs to be lived..ive pushed this one person away and i feel so bad..she was like my right hand gurl..and i miss her being there..
i dont know who i am...but i know who i want to be...and what i am now is truly the wrong direction..
so will you forgive me?