Two Weeks of Quotes for Cait!
Anya: Look at 'em. Perusing the shelves, undressing the merchandise with their eyeballs. All ogle, no cash. It's not just annoying, it's un-American.
Giles: Appalling. Almost as if they no longer think money can buy happiness.
Anya: Totally un-American. Oh, and you know what else is un-American? French people.
Willow: You don't say.
Anya: Piano!
Xander: Because that's what we used to kill that big demon that one time. No wait, that was a rocket launcher. An, what are you talking about?
Anya: We should drop a piano on her. Well, it always works for that creepy cartoon rabbit when he's running from that nice man with the speech impediment.
Anya: Run away? Finally, a sensible plan.
Spike: Uh ... Will? Now, uh, don't turn me into a horned toad for asking, but ... what if we come across Ben?
Willow: I-I don't think a doctor's what Buffy needs right now.
Spike: Well, yeah, especially not one who also happens to be Glory. (Everyone looks confused)
Giles: What do you mean?
Spike: You know. Ben is Glory.
Willow: (frowns) You mean ... Ben's with Glory?
Xander: "With" in what sense?
Anya: They're working together?
Spike: No. No. Ben is Glory. Glory's Ben. They're one and the same.
(Beat. Everyone looks completely confused)
Anya: When did all this happen?
Spike: Not one hour ago! Right here, before your very eyes! Ben came, he turned into Glory, snatched the kid, and pfft! Vanished, remember?
(They continue to stare at him.)
Spike: (uncertainly) You do remember...? (squints at them) Is everyone here very stoned?
(They continue to look confused.)
Spike: (getting annoyed) Ben! Glory! He's a doctor, she's the beast. Two entirely separate entities sharing one body. Like a bloody sitcom. Surely you remember.
Xander: So you're saying ... Ben and Glory...
Anya: Have a connection.
Giles: Yes, obviously, but what kind?
Spike: (laughs sarcastically) Oh, I get it. That's very crafty. Glory's worked the kind of mojo where anyone who sees her little presto-change-o instantly forgets. And yours truly, being somewhat other than human, stands immune.
Willow: So ... Ben and Glory ... are-are the same person?
Xander: (slowly, like a revelation) Glory can turn into Ben, and Ben turns back into Glory.
Anya: And anyone who sees it instantly forgets.
Spike: (sighs in relief) Kewpie doll for the lady.
Giles: Excellent. (looks around at them) Now. Do we suspect there may be some kind of connection between Ben and Glory?
(Xander and Anya look enquiringly at Spike)
(Spike sighs loudly)
Willow: I think we already deja'd this vu.
Xander: Smart chicks are sooo hot (looking fondly at Anya)
Willow: You couldn't have figured that out in tenth grade?
Anya: Usually when there's an apocalypse, I skedaddle. But now I love you so much that instead I have inappropriately timed sex and try to think of ways to fight a god ... and worry terribly that something might happen to you. And also worry that something'll happen to me. And then I have guilt that I'm not more worried about everyone else, but I just don't have enough! I'm just on total overload, and I honestly don't think that I could be more nervous than I am right now.
Xander: Care to wager on that?
(Xander lifts his hand into the shot. He holds a small box, open to reveal the ring inside)
Xander: Anya ... you wanna marry me?
(Anya stares at him a moment, then slaps him across the face)
Xander: Can I take that as a "maybe"?
Anya: You're proposing to me!
Xander: Yes...
Anya: You're proposing to me 'cause we're gonna die! And you think it's romantic and sexy and, and you know you're not gonna have to go through with it 'cause the world's gonna end!
Xander: I'm proposing to you, Anya, because it's not.
Anya: You can't know that.
Xander: I believe it. I think we're gonna get through this. I think I'm gonna live a long ... and silly life, and I'm not interested in doing that without you around.
Anya: (softly) Oh. Okay.
Xander: (wide-eyed) Okay?
Anya: Yes. (small smile) I mean, yes.
(They both smile happily and look down at the ring. Xander begins removing the ring from the box as Anya holds up her hands. Then she stops him.)
Anya: No.
Xander: No?
Anya: After. Give it to me when the world doesn't end.
Glory knocks the Buffybot's head off)
Glory: Huh. Wow. The slayer's a robot. Did everybody else know the Slayer was a robot?
Buffy: Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles ... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world ... is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.
Angel: Walking I get, but Power Walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird.
Lorne: Though I usually don't go by [Lorne] ‘cause...green.
Angel: Lorne Green!
(Cordelia and Wesley look puzzled)
Angel: Bonanza!
(Cordelia and Wesley still look puzzled)
Angel: Doesn't 15 years on the air mean anything?
(Cordelia and Wesley look puzzled even more)
Angel: Okay, now I feel old.
Wesley: I suppose I could try a binding spell of some kind, something that would fuse us together as we enter the portal.
Angel: Good, lets do that.
Wesley: However we could emerge on the other side as a freakishly hybridized Siamese twin.
Angel: Keep looking.
Angel: Ha, I'm not on fire.
Wesley: And, we're together! We didn't merge into a freakish four-man Siamese twin!
Gunn: That was a risk? How come nobody told me that was a risk?
Angel: Can everybody just notice how much fire I'm not on?
Angel: Let's start gathering some branches, some brush, anything that will cover up the car. Oh hey look, there's some over in that patch of sun... I'll get them!
Lorne: I think we're only a couple of miles from town but, we'll have to walk it.
Angel: No problem here, walkin' in the sun. Hey, do it all the time.
Wesley: Yes, we're all heartily aware that you're not on fire.
Lorne: Just remember, keep your head down. Xenophobia, kind of a watchword where I'm from.
Gunn: I don't get it. Why are they afraid of Xena? I mean, I think she's kinda fly.
Wesley: Xenophobia - fear of foreigners.
Gunn: Oh, then can we pretend I didn't just say that?
(Angel, Wesley, Gunn & Lorne surrounded by Pyleans)
Wesley: We've been through a lot together fellas, fought a lot of battles, faced some pretty steep odds.
Gunn: I'll take the 20 on the left, you take the 50 on the right.
Angel: Okay.
Constable: Shall we gut the cows now, that you might dine on their ignoble flesh, Oh Most High?
Cordelia: You're most high if you think that is gonna happen.
(as Cordy grabs some treasure)
Gunn: Do you really think you'll be able to get your booty through the front door?
Cordy: Hey!
Gunn: That booty. (points at treasure)
Cordy: Oh.
Wesley: Now see here, I've told you already. We're not reconnaissance cows!
(while Cordelia screams)
Lorne: I realize this is a bit of a shock, but I can explain. Take it easy. Okay, get it out of your system. That's good. You have to breathe sometime. Good lord, shut up, woman!
Cordy: (trying to cover up the fact Lorne's head is alive) I like the filthy head. That is... I uh,... I want to defile it more. (spits) I'll just keep it to… spit upon. And, and, when I grow tired of that… I-I- I will make it, ah, … a planter! A traitor planter for all to see! …Or maybe a candy dish.
Gunn: I've got a plan.
Wesley: Oh, thank God! What is it?
Gunn: We die horribly and painfully, you go to Hell and I spend eternity in the arms of baby Jesus.
Wesley: Oh.
(Right after being made leader of the rebels)
Wesley: Why do people keep putting me in charge of things?
Gunn: I have no idea.
Cordy: (to Groosalugg and Angel) Stop! Stop the fight. I love him!
Angel: You love me?
Cordy: Not you, dumbass! Him! I love him!
Wesley: It's sad. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. By the way, Gunn... technically, that wasn't a Lurite demon, it was a Murite, a subspecies of the Lurite. The male sports a small telltale fin just behind the third shoulder.
Gunn: So glad to know we're not the sad people obsessed with demons.
Wesley: I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our social lives, but we have to. Work demands it.
Gunn: True. I mean who's got time for love when you're out there doing it with the demons? Didn't that come out sad and wrong?
Cordelia: Yeah.
Gunn: I need to get out more.
Angel: Demon monks. Should have gone to Vegas.
Fred: I came out of my room. Small steps, just like you said.
Angel: Go to your room and stay there!
Fred: Okay.
Gunn: How come whatever we're searching for is always in the last place we look?
Wesley: I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick. Ah... ahem... a sleuth, a gumshoe, a Sherlock.
Gunn: All I know is, you use the word dick again and we gonna have a problem.
Cordelia: (to Fred) Wow. Next to you, I'm downright linear.
Fred: You're Angel's Lassie.
Cordelia: Oh, well I'd be flattered, except for the "Lassie being a dog" part!
Buffybot: That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!
Spike: Oh, poor Watcher... has your life passed before your eyes - cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea?
Willow: (about Buffybot) I got her off those knock knock jokes.
Buffybot: Oh,who's there?
Xander: If you want her to be exactly...
Spike: She'll never be exactly.
Xander: I know.
Tara: The only really real Buffy is really Buffy.
Giles: And she's gone.
Buffybot: If you want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone who?
Xander: Okay, when I'm marveling at the immaturity, be scared.
Xander:I know we've been going straight because I've been following the North Star.
Willow: Xander, that's not the North Star, it's an airplane.
Anya: The woods? Are we going back to the woods? I hate the woods. All those woodsy trees.
Razor: (after Tara fries him with a spell) There's a witch in the mix.
Xander: I happen to be a very powerful man-witch myself.
Buffy: How long was I gone?
Spike: 147 days yesterday. Uh, 148 today. Except today doesn't count, does it?
Buffy: I’m tired.
Anya: Yeah, jet lag from Hell has got to be, you know, jet lag from Hell.
Spike: I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I'd have done that, even if I didn't make it, you wouldn't have had to jump. But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again, and do something different. Faster, or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways. Every night, I save you.
Anya: I found one of those 24-hour places for coffee. Remember that bookstore? Well, they became one of those books and coffee places, and now they're just coffee. It's like evolution, only without the "getting better" part.
(After Dawn has just recovered from being possessed and breathing fire)
Anya: You might experience some dry mouth.
Xander: We made a demon? Bad us.
Dawn: Xander, drive faster.
Xander: I can't.
Dawn: I could drive faster and I can't drive.
Anya: She's right. You're like a snail. A snail who's driving a car very slowly.
Anya: So now what? We have to talk in some sort of anti-demon secret code?
Xander: Ood-gay idea-yay, An-yay.
Buffy: You guys gave me the world. I can’t tell you what it means to me.
Buffy: Wherever I was... I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time... didn't mean anything... nothing had form... but I was still me, you know? And I was warm... and I was loved... and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or... any of it, really... but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not. I was torn out of there. Pulled out... by my friends. Everything here is... hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch... this is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that... knowing what I've lost...