Tons of Quotes for Cait ;)
Gunn: (about Wes and Cordy) You two? I find Deevak, I'm going to need more than C-3P0 and Stick-Figure Barbie backin' me up, no offense.
Wesley: Very little taken.
Cordelia: There you go. Good as new.
Joey: I think you cracked my skull.
Cordelia: Well, that's new, right?
Wesley: Come on. What are you waiting for?
Angel: I... really don't think it's gonna fit.
Wesley: Of course it will. Put it on.
Angel: You know, I-I don't need a helmet for protection.
Wesley: Angel. It's the law in California. You want us to get pulled over?
Angel: No.
Wesley: Then what's the problem?
Angel: Well, it-it's just, you know - the whole - visibility issue, not to mention the whole hat-head thing and if you really think about it, how come I have to wear the ladies helmet?
Wesley: Stop being such a wanker and put it on! (Angel puts on the pink helmet) Good. Hop on board, gorgeous.
Angel: You'll pay for this.
Veronica: Who's your friend?
Cordelia: Who, me? I'm no friend. I mean I'm just here on business. I'm a working girl. That came out wrong. I mean, obviously I'm not a "working girl." Not that I couldn't be if I wanted to, of course I could. God that sounded stuck up, didn't it? I didn't mean to imply that I could be a working girl and you couldn't. Far from it. You'd make a great... Could you just point me to the hor d'oeuvers?
Buffy: You threw that vampire like he was a teeny-weeny little vampire.
Riley: Hey, you want to go again? Come on, I bet this place is just teeming with aerodynamic vampires.
Buffy: Nah. Unless you wanna go back and kill Spike for the fun of it?
Joyce: I feel silly lying here like a lump.
Willow: You can make a game out of it. A very quiet game about being a lump.
Spike: Is it bigger than a breadbox?
Harmony: No. Only three left.
Spike: So it's smaller than a breadbox.
Harmony: No. Only two.
Spike: Harm... is it a sodding breadbox?
Harmony: Yes! Oh my god! Someone's Blondie Bear is a twenty question genius!
Wesley: I am not a sheep!
Cordelia: You are such a sheep. You've never had a single opinion you didn't read in a book.
Wesley: At least I've opened a book.
Cordelia: Oh don't even try with the snooty, Wooly Boy. I was top 10 percent of my class!
Wesley: What class? Advanced bosoms?
Cordelia: Oh-
Angel: Hey! What the hell's going on here?
Cordelia: We were just discussing whether or not we should offer to pay Gunn.
Angel: ... No you weren't.
Wesley: Well, our discussions tend to go about three minutes, then it's strictly name calling and hair pulling.
Cordelia: (applying a bandage to Angel) I can't get this bandage to...stop moving!
Angel: I'm not.
Cordelia: Well then, stop breathing.
Angel: I don't breathe.
Cordelia: Then stop flexing your manly boob muscles, or whatever.
Angel: She said she was staying with a friend.
Cordelia: Well, that narrows it down to people who have friends. Where do we keep that list?
Angel: Would you like some tea?
Bethany: Yeah, please.
Cordelia: You shouldn't worry. Angel does this kind of thing all the time.
Bethany: Makes tea?
Cordelia: Helps people. You know, he helps people with problems.
Bethany: So what's wrong with you?
Wesley: Where to begin?
Buffy: Actually, I have a little scooby-centric deal to deal with first. (pulls out the Dagon Sphere) I put this before the group... what the hell is it?
Giles: It appears to be paranormal in origin.
Willow: How can you tell?
Giles: Well it's so shiny.
Giles: Did you see that? Customers, real live customers. They came in, and I gave them things, and they gave me money, and then they left! It's brilliant!
Anya: (to a customer who just finished her purchase) Please go.
Xander: Anya, the Shopkeepers of America Union just called. They wanted me to tell you that "Please go" just got replaced with "Have a nice day."
Anya: But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?
Xander: No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace.
Buffy: Don't take this the wrong way, but... (punches Spike in the nose) ...what are you doing here? Five words or less.
Spike: Out. For. A. Walk.... Bitch. You know, contrary to one's self-involved world-view, your house happens to be directly between... parts... and other parts of this town. And I would pass by in the day, but I feel I'm outgrowing my whole "burst into flame" phase.
Buffy: Fine. Keep going, I'll cut you a break.
Spike: Oh, yeah. Okay, let me guess... you won't kill me? Wooo... the whole crowd-pleasing threats-and-swagger routine. How stunningly original. I'm just passing through, satisfied? You know, I really hope so because God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard and I never really liked you anyway and... and you have stupid hair.
Buffy: I just had a bad day.
Dawn: Well, join the club.
Buffy: Can I be president?
Dawn: I'm president. You could be the janitor.
Cordelia: What if, every time you identified a demon in one of your big old books we give you ten bucks...or a chicken pot pie?
Wesley: Wait, I have another idea, no! Get a vision.
Cordelia: Well it's not like you can hit me in the head and "wham!" it happens.
Wesley: What if we test that theory with one of my big old books?
Wesley: (talking about Darla) Vampires don't come back from the dead.
Angel: I did and I saw her. I'm not crazy.
Wesley: Where?
Angel: Right between the clowns and the big talking hot dog.
Angel: It was Darla. She's back - and she's human now - but I know her scent.
Wesley: Angel, you can't just, sniff a person and know...
Angel: You had sex last night, with a bleached blonde.
Wesley: Good Lord! How'd you...?
Cordelia: That's unbelievable. I didn't think you ever had sex.
Anya: (about Buffy) We just helped her move the stuff in a few days ago. (off Buffy's look) And it was fun!
Giles: People help each other out, Anya. One of our strange customs.
Buffy: Giles, I noticed you're doing the smallest amount of helping that can actually be called "helping."
Giles: Well, I saw myself in more of a patriarchal sort of role. You know, lots of pointing and scowling. (to Xander and Riley who are wrestling) You two, stop that.
Riley: He started it!
Xander: He called me a bad name. I think it was bad. It might have been Latin.
Tara: (to Buffy about Glory) You learn her source, and we'll introduce her to her insect reflection. (Everybody gives her a weird look) Th-that was funny if you, um, studied Taglarin mythic rites and, um, are a complete dork.
Riley: Then how come Xander didn't laugh?
Xander: I don't know that Taglarin stuff.
Buffy: What? She shouldn't be going over there.
Riley: Yeah, a lot of young people nowadays are experimenting with shortness.
Gunn: He's got a plan.
Wesley: A plan?
Angel: Yeah. I get to the offices before they stop me.
Gunn: See? What? That's the plan? Walking real quick was the plan?
T'ish Magev: (to Angel) How many warriors slated for the coming apocalypse do you think are going to be using that hair gel? Don't get me wrong. You're out there, fighting the ultimate evil; you're going to want something with hold.
Angel: Were you in Virginia?
Wesley: That's beside the point.
Dawn: Did I just pull a Slayer-related Mom cover-up thing? Come on. Who's the man?
Buffy: You are. A very short, annoying man.
Giles: What does it say?
Buffy: Same as all the others. Slayer called, blah blah, great protector, blah blah, scary battles, blah blah, oops! She's dead.
Xander: What's with the hand wave? You see that? Does that, like, mean something?
Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to "choo-choo!"
Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
Willow: Ask him.
Xander: Hey, Riley? What's the [hand wave] all about?
Riley: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.
Xander: See, now he's all mad and sarcastic.
Drusilla: And I wonder what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears? Oh, I see you. A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength, his vision, his glory. That, and burning baby fish swimming all around your head.
Spike: Every day you wake up, it's the same bloody question that haunts you: is today the day I die? Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it... not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you.
Spike: Come on Slayer, you know you wanna dance.
Buffy: Say it's true, say I want to. It wouldn't be you Spike, it would never be you... You're beneath me.
Darla: Angelus. Oh, you should have seen us together.
Lindsey: He was a different person then.
Darla: And so was I. Now do you know what we've become?
Lindsey: Enemies.
Darla: Oh, no, much worse. Now we're soul mates.
Angel: We're a detective agency. We investigate things. That's what we're good at.
Cordy: That's what we suck at.
Cordy: Unless there is a website called "www.ohbythewaywehaveDarlastashed here.com", we're pretty much out of luck.
Tara: (reading the Magic Box slogan) "Your one-stop spot to shop for all your occult needs." Catchy.
Giles: Think so?
Tara: Uh-huh. In a... hard to read sort of way, but I think it's great.
Xander: Am I right, Giles?
Giles: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.
Anya: Are you stupid or something?
Giles: Allow me to answer that question with a firing.
Xander: She's kidding. An, we talked about the employee-employer vocabulary no-nos. That was number five.
Cordelia: Au contraire, his day is packed. Brood about Darla, brood about Darla, lunch, followed by a little Darla brooding.
Cordelia: My teeth are so big. (over-enunciating) I am pleasant.
Menlo: Oh, he's funny. You're funny. You'll be even funnier when I crush your head.
Angel: Funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?
Cordelia: You can bet that if someone ordered a male body part for religious sacrifice, the world would be atheist (snaps fingers) like that!
Kate: Where is Angel?
Wesley: Angel? Right. That's why I'm here, to warn Angel about something important! Your hair!
Kate: You're here to warn Angel about my hair?
Wesley: Its blonde!
~RP~