(no subject)
I haven't been here in awhile.. to write about something fo' real. All I can say is that I'm really happy.. and really sad at the same time. I'm happy with my friends, and I'm happy with sean. I really REALLY know (that means don't try to tell me) that these things aren't supposed to affect my decision for college, but they are. I get too attached to people. I wish I was one of those kids who hated new jersey and just wanted to get out. But it's so sad because i LOVE new jersey and I love the people in my life. You know what is really really sad? I'm afraid to go to South Carolina because I'm afraid I'll miss new jersey weather and watching the seasons change. Like that should affect my college decision.. ugh. I have no idea what to do, and the one thing people keep telling me is "do what YOU want to do." over and over too, and then they ask me how I feel which I hate because the only thing I feel is confusion. Which is why I'm even asking them these questions in the first place. My mom's entire side of the family is pressuring me to go to Charleston. I feel like if I don't go there, then I'd be letting them all down. Then there's (I hate admitting it) Sean. The last thing I want to get held back by is a boyfriend.. especially one that I've only been dating for 6 months. I guess anyone would feel this way, and I know that if I go away and it will work if it's meant to be, but it still makes me feel shitty. aaggh I don't know what to do.
As for living in the present, I'm back in school and I stretched the ligaments in my knee playing volleyball, which everyone decided to point out at the doctors office. I hate not being able to do anything. Sean did come over yesterday and brought a bunch of movies and south park, which made me feel a lot better. We watched Muppets in Manhattan. We have good times.
[ =
=[
whatever.
As for living in the present, I'm back in school and I stretched the ligaments in my knee playing volleyball, which everyone decided to point out at the doctors office. I hate not being able to do anything. Sean did come over yesterday and brought a bunch of movies and south park, which made me feel a lot better. We watched Muppets in Manhattan. We have good times.
[ =
=[
whatever.