Life has to be better than this....
I've been in this funk the past couple days. It's really hard to explain and I don't know how, except the only thing I can think of isn't there supposed to be more excitement to life than just this? I talked to some of my friends and the only thing they do is go to work come home and sleep. Why is it when you are younger you envision this life full of excitement and all these possibilities? Hearing these stories makes me scared that what their life is, is what mine is going to become. I don't want that not at all. I want my life to unfold the way I have always dreamed of it happening. The thing is I know it can happen, I have nothing here holding me back for doing what I have dreamed of. So what's stopping me? I feel like I'm just at a road block.
My friends are still here, but that doesn't even bother me. I love them and they know that, but leaving them doesn't scare me or bother me at all. I know the ones that will come see me and stay in touch. No biggie. I'll miss parents, to some extent. Not all that much though, its weird cuz I feel bad for saying that, but I never really have when I'm gone. Thats it, so what am I scared of? A new place holds new friends and new chances that I wouldn't have here.....so yes. I just feel like there is more to my life and its going to be great, its just sitting here and waiting for it to happen that sucks. I always heard people talk about how waiting for a job after you graduate from college is a bitch. I am a firm believer in that once you have your degree it doesn't mean shit, it just hinders everything. It's just something nice to look at every now and then and remind you of the good times you had when you were back up at school. I'm just happy to have my friends that I have now with me still :) I can't say this enough, you guys are my rock and mean the world to me.
I just need something to happen finally and if its Pittsburgh, even though its not my ideal place...well then, I'll be happy and take it! I can always leave can't I? Maybe I just have to stop being so picking or something, but I really don't know what I'm being picky about. This is the word for my mood: limbo. That's exactly how I feel. I wish I wouldn't of had to come home after school....I fucked up so bad though. I'm in limbo and it SUCKS!!! Send me to Pitt and I'll be the happiest person in the world!!
Alright the pats are loosing and I'm kinda upset, cuz well I hate the Colts!!! They are annoying, plus blah..yeah
Well I'm outtie, love ya'll :)
My friends are still here, but that doesn't even bother me. I love them and they know that, but leaving them doesn't scare me or bother me at all. I know the ones that will come see me and stay in touch. No biggie. I'll miss parents, to some extent. Not all that much though, its weird cuz I feel bad for saying that, but I never really have when I'm gone. Thats it, so what am I scared of? A new place holds new friends and new chances that I wouldn't have here.....so yes. I just feel like there is more to my life and its going to be great, its just sitting here and waiting for it to happen that sucks. I always heard people talk about how waiting for a job after you graduate from college is a bitch. I am a firm believer in that once you have your degree it doesn't mean shit, it just hinders everything. It's just something nice to look at every now and then and remind you of the good times you had when you were back up at school. I'm just happy to have my friends that I have now with me still :) I can't say this enough, you guys are my rock and mean the world to me.
I just need something to happen finally and if its Pittsburgh, even though its not my ideal place...well then, I'll be happy and take it! I can always leave can't I? Maybe I just have to stop being so picking or something, but I really don't know what I'm being picky about. This is the word for my mood: limbo. That's exactly how I feel. I wish I wouldn't of had to come home after school....I fucked up so bad though. I'm in limbo and it SUCKS!!! Send me to Pitt and I'll be the happiest person in the world!!
Alright the pats are loosing and I'm kinda upset, cuz well I hate the Colts!!! They are annoying, plus blah..yeah
Well I'm outtie, love ya'll :)