im home..again:(
so i'm back here. pooey. i just don't like it here anymore.
and everyone's going to college - and i just can't help but be jealous. because as much as everyone was scared, or sad, everntually all i hear is "yeah it's awesome" or "i love it" or "college is so fun"...and not that i'm not stoked about being a senior..buuut i dunno - i just want to get away
but at least ill look forward to college?
and now its thunderstorming - and i love them..but i'm so sad i have noone to share it with
and as many as you know - i am entering my senior year having never been kissed man..it sounds so lame- i mean its not a bad thing buuut..thats what this summer was supposed to be about - pooey. and after stating that in none other than my livejournal..i refuse to be hung up on it any longer!..it'll happen. right?
grr - livejournals are the devil..
i've had two dreams now that i've walked into school and not had a bit of summerwork done..i think that's saying something - don't you?
i need to go out and do something tonight - i just wish that something could involve parks..and..well..illinois.
and i miss everyone down there dreadfully - like..i can't even put it into words..but everytime i leave.. i can't help but remember that my dad won't be coming with me. and that it'll be at least a month..at LEAST until i see him next.
apparantly this entry is a little pity party i threw for myself..but in livejournal form?..ew i'm gross sometimes
but i shall continue - haha
and one last sad thing. (i mean there are more..buut the one that really counts) i can't help but wish that my grandmother woould die. and that sounds horrible - but she was the strongest, most independant, wonderful woman i knew - and now she has been reduced to a hospital bed, with a fractured spine, yelling in pain, and just wanting her family to be there. and it KILLED me to walk out of that hospital room, and leave her there. i could just see it in her eyes how sad she was. and my sister and i repeartedly told her we'd see her in a week. she could wait a week..but then something screwed up - and we never came. that could be the very last time i'll ever see her again.
ahh and it's so sad - because i love that woman so much - but shes in so much paaain! it's okay to wish her out of it right? that doesn't make me a bad person.
gah!!! so much! and i am done. and god i am sorry for anyone who read that.
and please - no sympathy comments..i just wanted to get it all out. i had a burst of "boo hoo for keara" if you will.
end of summer is just so sad.
and everyone's going to college - and i just can't help but be jealous. because as much as everyone was scared, or sad, everntually all i hear is "yeah it's awesome" or "i love it" or "college is so fun"...and not that i'm not stoked about being a senior..buuut i dunno - i just want to get away
but at least ill look forward to college?
and now its thunderstorming - and i love them..but i'm so sad i have noone to share it with
and as many as you know - i am entering my senior year having never been kissed man..it sounds so lame- i mean its not a bad thing buuut..thats what this summer was supposed to be about - pooey. and after stating that in none other than my livejournal..i refuse to be hung up on it any longer!..it'll happen. right?
grr - livejournals are the devil..
i've had two dreams now that i've walked into school and not had a bit of summerwork done..i think that's saying something - don't you?
i need to go out and do something tonight - i just wish that something could involve parks..and..well..illinois.
and i miss everyone down there dreadfully - like..i can't even put it into words..but everytime i leave.. i can't help but remember that my dad won't be coming with me. and that it'll be at least a month..at LEAST until i see him next.
apparantly this entry is a little pity party i threw for myself..but in livejournal form?..ew i'm gross sometimes
but i shall continue - haha
and one last sad thing. (i mean there are more..buut the one that really counts) i can't help but wish that my grandmother woould die. and that sounds horrible - but she was the strongest, most independant, wonderful woman i knew - and now she has been reduced to a hospital bed, with a fractured spine, yelling in pain, and just wanting her family to be there. and it KILLED me to walk out of that hospital room, and leave her there. i could just see it in her eyes how sad she was. and my sister and i repeartedly told her we'd see her in a week. she could wait a week..but then something screwed up - and we never came. that could be the very last time i'll ever see her again.
ahh and it's so sad - because i love that woman so much - but shes in so much paaain! it's okay to wish her out of it right? that doesn't make me a bad person.
gah!!! so much! and i am done. and god i am sorry for anyone who read that.
and please - no sympathy comments..i just wanted to get it all out. i had a burst of "boo hoo for keara" if you will.
end of summer is just so sad.