Angry Spidey Fan lets loose
That would be me in the title... MAJOR SPOILERS to Spidey 3 if you read further
And I knew before going to see it that it was going to be crap. I had read the novelization of the script - I had read all the reviews and blogs and comments... but still I went as a true spidey fan.
I went at an off time so I could enjoy the film with my man Josh (who was dragged to the theatre but was a gentleman to see it with me as he too knew how much it was going to hurt *2 hours and 22 mins running time is redick...)
Anyway! IT was DISGUSTING. The first maybe 30 mins was ok, then there was another 20 mins of good near the end (but NOT the end as that was wishy washy and stupid and more singing from Kirsten = the suck)
No what bothers me most is not the triple villian (I liked it - they paced that well I thought) no it was the character development of Spidey. SAM, WHAT DID YOU DO?! How is bad emo makeup and hair akin to angst on film? WHY did he need a makeover to be depressed?! Ok ok he could show us he was depressed and isolated by letting go his comb and toothbrush (hey when youre sad you just dont care about hygene) but to DELIBERATELY have Tobey move his hair and be all "ewwwww I'm moody now" with upward looks to the camera and black liner and hair in his face DOES NOT equal a good representation of angst. Nuff about the emo crap.
Why does Peter Parker DANCE in the STREETS with the hand guns to the la-za-dies?! IT WAS NOT FUNNY. it was sad. Josh and I literally hugged eachother and sobbed "make it stop!" because not only did it happen - oh no - it happened for what seemed like AGES. Which brings me to my next point: who is the editor of the film and how can I let him know he should be shot with web bullets? It was poor in transition and it was poorly shot. Handheld to try for gritty film making almost made me puke a couple times, and the fact that every scene was too long by 5 mins at least shows that this film could have been under 2 hours and made everyone a lot happier.
THERE IS NO CRYING IN SUPERHEROES. at least not every 10 fraking minutes! C'MON!
I have to say that the choices in the script and the choices kept for screen where strange. I won't point them out because then I'm writing a book report and you all know youre not reading this criticism as it is so I won't get into it. If you like, ask how it was supposed to end. Oh and Harry, yeah, he didn't die so much in the book version. weird.
And finally (well I should stop writing about it soon at least) Kirsten Dunst is SO UGLY - and I'm not saying that to be mean (although I am ok with being mean about her) but seriously she was upstaged by Gwen Stacey played by Bryce Dallas Howard. And she was barely in the film. If MJ is the "princess" character Peter must save every 2 mins - can she at least be a beautiful person? Inside and out?! They made MJ a high maintenance, no make up wearing whiner. Again I say: Sam, I will reshoot every scene of MJ - I'll act and even say Tiger, oh and I clean up nice! Yeesh.
Brava to: Topher (why wasn't he Spidey to begin with, his line delievery and wit is amazing - he would have been spidey with a backbone)
Thomas Haden Church for bulking up and being the Sandman
The casting director - regardless what happens once they are cast - they look and sound and move like the comic so kudos to the one whos booking these actors
JK Simmons - WOW did JJ Jameson steal the movie for me!!! "Thank yous" were priceless!!!
action was goodtimes - at least I can count on that.
all in all - it wasn't worth the 13 dollars to see it but I'm still glad I did.
In other news...
I'm officially hired as a re-enactor for The Gibson House! Horray! I have put off starbucks once again! And it pays well. They were really happy to hire me - I squealed "Horray!" as a cute new employee - while she squealed as well on the other end "we are so happy to have you!" so it looks like I'm perfectly placed. Now to brush up on my knitting and butter churning.
And I knew before going to see it that it was going to be crap. I had read the novelization of the script - I had read all the reviews and blogs and comments... but still I went as a true spidey fan.
I went at an off time so I could enjoy the film with my man Josh (who was dragged to the theatre but was a gentleman to see it with me as he too knew how much it was going to hurt *2 hours and 22 mins running time is redick...)
Anyway! IT was DISGUSTING. The first maybe 30 mins was ok, then there was another 20 mins of good near the end (but NOT the end as that was wishy washy and stupid and more singing from Kirsten = the suck)
No what bothers me most is not the triple villian (I liked it - they paced that well I thought) no it was the character development of Spidey. SAM, WHAT DID YOU DO?! How is bad emo makeup and hair akin to angst on film? WHY did he need a makeover to be depressed?! Ok ok he could show us he was depressed and isolated by letting go his comb and toothbrush (hey when youre sad you just dont care about hygene) but to DELIBERATELY have Tobey move his hair and be all "ewwwww I'm moody now" with upward looks to the camera and black liner and hair in his face DOES NOT equal a good representation of angst. Nuff about the emo crap.
Why does Peter Parker DANCE in the STREETS with the hand guns to the la-za-dies?! IT WAS NOT FUNNY. it was sad. Josh and I literally hugged eachother and sobbed "make it stop!" because not only did it happen - oh no - it happened for what seemed like AGES. Which brings me to my next point: who is the editor of the film and how can I let him know he should be shot with web bullets? It was poor in transition and it was poorly shot. Handheld to try for gritty film making almost made me puke a couple times, and the fact that every scene was too long by 5 mins at least shows that this film could have been under 2 hours and made everyone a lot happier.
THERE IS NO CRYING IN SUPERHEROES. at least not every 10 fraking minutes! C'MON!
I have to say that the choices in the script and the choices kept for screen where strange. I won't point them out because then I'm writing a book report and you all know youre not reading this criticism as it is so I won't get into it. If you like, ask how it was supposed to end. Oh and Harry, yeah, he didn't die so much in the book version. weird.
And finally (well I should stop writing about it soon at least) Kirsten Dunst is SO UGLY - and I'm not saying that to be mean (although I am ok with being mean about her) but seriously she was upstaged by Gwen Stacey played by Bryce Dallas Howard. And she was barely in the film. If MJ is the "princess" character Peter must save every 2 mins - can she at least be a beautiful person? Inside and out?! They made MJ a high maintenance, no make up wearing whiner. Again I say: Sam, I will reshoot every scene of MJ - I'll act and even say Tiger, oh and I clean up nice! Yeesh.
Brava to: Topher (why wasn't he Spidey to begin with, his line delievery and wit is amazing - he would have been spidey with a backbone)
Thomas Haden Church for bulking up and being the Sandman
The casting director - regardless what happens once they are cast - they look and sound and move like the comic so kudos to the one whos booking these actors
JK Simmons - WOW did JJ Jameson steal the movie for me!!! "Thank yous" were priceless!!!
action was goodtimes - at least I can count on that.
all in all - it wasn't worth the 13 dollars to see it but I'm still glad I did.
In other news...
I'm officially hired as a re-enactor for The Gibson House! Horray! I have put off starbucks once again! And it pays well. They were really happy to hire me - I squealed "Horray!" as a cute new employee - while she squealed as well on the other end "we are so happy to have you!" so it looks like I'm perfectly placed. Now to brush up on my knitting and butter churning.