Desperation for something to do
As the evening intensifies I feel very lost. Its been the first day I've had without work in quite some time. It makes me wonder what a person does with nothing but time on their hands. I have this surge of energy. How alien to have energy.
This urge is consuming me. I could really do kartwheels to Eve of Dustruction right now. No kartwheels, though. Have to watch the elbow.
So many things to tell and only myself to say it to. It all sounds so juvenille to me. The excuses, the reasons. I don't think you want to understand. It never looks the way it really was. But thats what I get. Karma for thinking things I should not have. There is no real karma, of course. Bad things happen even before you've ever done any wrong yourself. All it takes is a single word to trigger a memory.
It feels like a disappearing day. Yes, thats what I'm missing. I think sometimes you just have to venture and not tell anyone. All I have now is disappearing into my mind.
Todays theme song: RadioHead, No Surprises.