Some days you really just don't know
I have 11 days of school left. I turn 18 in 23 days.
I'm so stressed that I'm sick. "So sick, so sick of being tired. And oh so tired of being sick" thats me. I can't sleep just thinking about everything thats going to happen.
I want things to be back to the way they were last year.
Today I was so sick I actually got picked up at school instead of just leaving. I felt like I was being stabbed by tiny little knives in my stomach, over and over again. I felt like I was going to throw up. I felt like I was burning up. My teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom bc it was before our test so I just put my head down and cried. I don't think anyone noticed.
I went to the nurse after 4th to get something for it, she sent me back to class. I called my stepdad to pick me up. I got to 5th late and my teacher bitched me out for that. I was just like whatever and put my head down. 5 mins later I got called out of class.
I'm sick of a certain person and what they choose to talk about. I'm sick of another person and their lack of speaking to me. I don't want those problems to start again.
I'm sad that high school is ending, not bc its the end of school, but bc I've made so many great friends the last couple of months and now we're all going different places. I regret not hanging out with thema whole lot outside of school. I don't want to leave my best friend.
I don't think I'm going to drink anymore. I always make stupid choices when I do and I never remember the next day. I don't want my friends to tell me what stupid things I did the night before. I don't want to have to worry about those decisions either.
I don't know where I was trying to go with this. I think I was just trying to understand all this myself. If you got to this point, I'm proud of you for reading all my random thoughts.