Lose Yourself
Title: Lose Yourself
Author: Ru_salki99
Rating: NC 17
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss
Author's notes: This was supposed to be a cheery bit of PWP, but it's somehow ended up with a small plot and has become a bit angsty :/
Summary: A week after Wash has died and Jayne is struggling to deal with his hurt - in steps Mal.
It had been a week since they’d sent out the signal.
A week of everyone getting treated for their various wounds, both emotionally and physically, a week of Jayne having to relay messages from the Alliance crew fixing their boat to Mal and back because Zoe had disappeared. A week without Wash. A week of not knowing what their future held.
And Jayne was tired of it.
They were stuck here for the foreseeable future whether they liked it or not. And it seemed that it would be here that Wash and the Sheppard would be getting laid to rest.
Mal and Simon had finally been released from the hospital and together with the help of everyone else, set about organising their funerals. They weren’t nothin fancy, or religious. All three men were of different faiths and so it wouldn’t be fair to choose one over the other, although Jayne did join in with Kaylee as she said a Christian prayer for Book. He would’ve liked that.
After Zoe had set off the fireworks, they left her on her own where she could say her goodbyes in private.
When they got back to the tavern that the Alliance had put them up in, Kaylee and Simon disappeared together while Inara invited River to join her in meditation. Mal went up to his room, which left Jayne on his own in the lobby.
He and Mal were sharing a room. The hundan Alliance refused to fork out anymore for them to have a room each and so, with nothing else to do, Jayne followed Mal, hoping that he would at least have some alcohol somewhere.
“What you doin?” Jayne asked as he stepped into their room and found Mal lying on his back, a hand over his eyes.
“Tryin to sleep,” Mal said, “Thinkin it might help the hurt.”
Jayne huffed and sat down on his own bed, pulling out the rucksack full of his guns from underneath the bed, ignoring the pain in his shoulder as he did so, “Well if you’re just gonna sleep, I might as well do somethin useful.”
Mal brought his hand off his eyes and turned to watch Jayne. Every single one of his girls was sparklin they was so clean and polished, “How many times you cleaned your guns this week?” Mal asked him.
Jayne didn’t look up, “A few,” he admitted.
Mal seemed to remember Book telling him the story of how Jayne had informed him that when it came to death, he had the overbearing urge to feel alive, and being stuck here on this moon, runnin errands all week and sittin in on his own most nights probably hadn’t helped him any.
“It’s alright to be upset you know,” Mal said as he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
“I know,” Jayne said, “I just…” he lowered his gun and sighed before looking at Mal, “Dwellin on it ain’t gonna help no one. And I just… I ain’t got anythin else to concentrate on. Not here anyways.”
Mal nodded, knowing exactly what he was talking about, “Ain’t you visited the whore house yet?”
Jayne looked away from Mal, picking up his gun again, “No whore’s gonna help me right now. They didn’t know Wash or the Sheppard. How’re they supposed to understand what I’m goin through?”
“Well, what about one of the others?” Mal asked curiously, “Ain’t you talked to one of them?”
“Kaylee ain’t left the Doc’s side, Inara’s been looking after River, you’ve been in hospital all week and Zoe… well she’s got her own feelins to deal with.”
“Well, I’m here now,” Mal said, “Talk to me.”
“Gorramit Mal, I don’t wanna talk,” Jayne snapped, throwing his gun down on the bed, “I just… I need to forget for a while.”
“You need to forget?” Mal asked him, getting to his feet.
Jayne nodded, watching him carefully, “Yeah.”
“Stand up,” Mal said to him.
Jayne frowned but did as he was told, “Now what?”
Mal reached up, cupping Jayne’s face with his hand and placed the softest of kisses on his lips.
“Uh Mal?” Jayne asked, pulling back slightly to look at him.
“I need to forget too Jayne,” Mal said.
Seeing the same pain and desperation in Mal’s eyes as he’d seen in the mirror that morning, Jayne just nodded before leaning back down to kiss Mal back. Wrapping one hand around his neck, and the other around his waist, Mal stepped back, pulling Jayne with him towards the bed.
Letting Mal fall down onto the bed first, Jayne quickly pulled his boots off before climbing on top of him, making sure not to bump any of Mal’s injuries.
“Here,” Mal said, lying on his side so that Jayne could lie down next to him, “Don’t need you hurtin your shoulder anymore,” he added as Jayne lay down.
They looked at each other, searching each other’s faces for sign that this was too much, but there was none there and so closing his eyes, Mal pulled Jayne into a deep kiss.
This wasn’t the first time they had ended up in bed together. Far from it. Ever since Jayne had boarded Serenity, he and Mal had had many a drunken fumble. But there had never been any sober occasions, they had only had a couple of sloppy kisses and there had certainly never been any actual sexin. They had both usually passed out by that point. And so this was completely new territory to the both of them.
As Mal kissed Jayne, he unclipped his sling at the back of his neck, pulling it off and letting it fall onto the floor behind him. His hands then went to the buttons of his shirt, gently easing his shirt open and pushed it off his shoulders.
Jayne groaned slightly at the pain of shrugging his shirt off, but didn’t complain, instead wrapping his arms around Mal and kissing him again. As he held him tight, he reached down and began pulling Mal’s shirt out of his pants. Mal sat up and shrugged his suspenders off before getting Jayne to lie on his back so he could straddle him.
Jayne shifted, resting his hands on Mal’s hips before reaching up and pulling Mal’s shirt up and over his head. As Mal dropped his shirt onto the floor, Jayne reached up, tracing his fingers down the bruises still evident on his chest and ribs. He still had a small dressing on his stomach where he’d been stabbed, and Jayne couldn’t help but think how close he’d come to losin him.
“Hey,” Mal said, gently stroking Jayne’s cheek, “I didn’t die and I ain’t gonna.”
Jayne nodded, not quite capable of saying anything at the moment, instead pulling himself up to sit so he could kiss Mal again.
Mal wrapped his hands around Jayne’s neck, one of his hands threading up into his too long hair, while the other gripped at his good shoulder. As he felt Jayne’s hands travel from his hips to the buckle of his belt, he couldn’t help but smile a little.
Jayne looked up at him, giving Mal his own soft smile, closing his eyes as Mal tenderly kissed him on the nose. Opening his eyes again, he let Mal kiss him once more before he took his mouth away, reattaching himself onto Mal’s neck while his hands made quick work of unfastening Mal’s pants and pushing them as far off his hips as they would go.
“Lie down,” Mal said, pushing at him slightly and urging him to lie back on the bed.
When they were horizontal again, Mal quickly unfastened Jayne’s belt, pulling his pants and underwear down his long legs. Standing at the edge of the bed, he pulled them off the last of the way, before removing his socks and throwing them to the other side of the room. He then let his own pants and underwear drop onto the floor before climbing back up Jayne’s body, kissing and licking as he went.
Reaching his face again, Jayne pulled him down to capture his mouth with his own once more. He wrapped one arm around Mal’s waist, gently stroking his hand down his ass as his other went to his front and gripped his hard diao.
Mal gasped into his mouth, his hips automatically thrusting up into Jayne’s strong hand.
“Jayne?” he asked.
“Yeah?” Jayne asked, softly kissing his way along Mal’s jaw line.
“Have you got any…”
“Gun oil,” Jayne told him, pulling back to look into his deep blue eyes.
“Gun oil?” Mal asked dubiously.
Jayne shrugged, grunting again against the pain as he did so, “It’s all I got,” he told him.
Mal nodded, “Okay. We’ll just… have a bath or somethin later.”
Jayne smiled, letting go of Mal as he climbed off him again and went to retrieve the gun oil that was sat on his bed. Getting back on the bed, he straddled Jayne’s thighs again as he removed the lid off the tin.
“You sure you wanna use this?” Mal asked he scooped some of the black treacle like substance onto his fingers.
“Well we could go dry if you really want,” Jayne said, raising an eyebrow at him.
“On second thoughts, this ain’t so bad,” Mal said, scooping some more up and coating Jayne’s rock hard cock with it.
Jayne gasped slightly at the feeling of the gun oil on him, “Ruttin hell that’s cold,” he said making Mal smile.
“Here,” Mal said, holding the tin out for Jayne.
Dipping his fingers in, Jayne scooped some up before reaching between Mal’s legs and began covering his entrance with it, pushing his fingers inside to thoroughly coat him. Mal whimpered slightly at the feeling, pushing down on Jayne’s fingers, encouraging him to go deeper. However, before long, Jayne needed to feel more than Mal just clamping around his fingers and so removed them, grabbing hold of Mal’s hips instead and pulling him forward.
Reaching down, Mal took hold of Jayne’s diao and guided him towards his entrance. As he felt the head pushing against him, he looked up, his eyes connecting with Jayne’s. Neither of them looked away as Mal lowered himself onto him. Jayne held on tight and bit his lip, but he did not look away.
As he got used to the feel of Jayne sitting deep inside him, stretching him, Mal rested his hands on top of Jayne’s before he finally began to move.
Feeling Mal tightening himself around him as he pulled back, Jayne was unable to stop his eyes from rolling back in his head. He held on tight to Mal’s hips, not willing to let him get away but easing up when Mal took hold of his hands and thread their fingers together.
Looking back up at Mal, Jayne was sure Mal had never looked so good before. There his head thrown back in pleasure, his hands gripping onto Jayne’s hard as he rode him, he looked absolutely beautiful.
Unable to stay away, Jayne pulled himself back up to sit, pulling Mal into a hard kiss as their hips continued to move together.
Mal rested his arms around Jayne’s shoulder, his hand moving up to cup and Jayne’s jaw and subconsciously covering one side of his face in gun oil.
When they pulled back to catch their breath, Jayne buried his face in the crook of Mal’s neck, breathing in his scent as he listened to him pant in his ear. He wrapped his hands under his shoulders to pull him close, kissing his throat gently as he thrust up into him. Mal copied him, being careful not to hurt Jayne’s shoulder and removing any space that had been between their bodies.
They moved as one, clinging to each other’s sweaty and covered in gun oil bodies as they panted at the same time, feeling their pleasure build within them. Mal turned his head, nudging at Jayne’s forehead with his nose and making him turn his head too, allowing Mal to kiss him with so much passion that it finally pushed them both over the edge.
Thrusting up into him one last time, Jayne rested his forehead on Mal’s, staring into those big blue eyes of Mal’s as he felt his stomach being coated with Mal’s orgasm while his own was emptied into Mal himself.
They clung to each other, both of them gasping for breath and unwilling to move. But eventually, as their bodies began to calm down, the coldness coating their stomachs and the stickiness of the gun oil became too much and they moved into the small bathroom that was attached to their room.
As they stood and waited for the water in the shower to heat up, Jayne wrapped his arms around Mal’s waist and kissed him again. Mal smiled dopily at him before pulling him into the shower.
It took them longer than it should have to get clean, both of them carefully taking their wet dressings off and taking their time to wash each other’s sore and broken bodies which of course was interrupted by lots of kissing and fondling. They could have stayed under the water all day, the only thing making them step out being the hot water turning cold.
Grabbing a towel, Jayne carefully dried Mal before allowing him to return the favour. They then redressed each other’s wounds and went back into the bedroom.
“You want to get something to eat?” Mal asked him.
“It mean getting dressed?” Jayne asked back.
“Well yeah,” Mal told him with a smile.
Jayne grinned, pulling Mal towards him and wrapping his arms around him, “Then I’ll pass,” he said, earning a smile from Mal too before leaning down and pulling him into a soft, loving kiss.
THE END
CHINESE
Hundan - bastard
Diao - penis
Author: Ru_salki99
Rating: NC 17
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss
Author's notes: This was supposed to be a cheery bit of PWP, but it's somehow ended up with a small plot and has become a bit angsty :/
Summary: A week after Wash has died and Jayne is struggling to deal with his hurt - in steps Mal.
It had been a week since they’d sent out the signal.
A week of everyone getting treated for their various wounds, both emotionally and physically, a week of Jayne having to relay messages from the Alliance crew fixing their boat to Mal and back because Zoe had disappeared. A week without Wash. A week of not knowing what their future held.
And Jayne was tired of it.
They were stuck here for the foreseeable future whether they liked it or not. And it seemed that it would be here that Wash and the Sheppard would be getting laid to rest.
Mal and Simon had finally been released from the hospital and together with the help of everyone else, set about organising their funerals. They weren’t nothin fancy, or religious. All three men were of different faiths and so it wouldn’t be fair to choose one over the other, although Jayne did join in with Kaylee as she said a Christian prayer for Book. He would’ve liked that.
After Zoe had set off the fireworks, they left her on her own where she could say her goodbyes in private.
When they got back to the tavern that the Alliance had put them up in, Kaylee and Simon disappeared together while Inara invited River to join her in meditation. Mal went up to his room, which left Jayne on his own in the lobby.
He and Mal were sharing a room. The hundan Alliance refused to fork out anymore for them to have a room each and so, with nothing else to do, Jayne followed Mal, hoping that he would at least have some alcohol somewhere.
“What you doin?” Jayne asked as he stepped into their room and found Mal lying on his back, a hand over his eyes.
“Tryin to sleep,” Mal said, “Thinkin it might help the hurt.”
Jayne huffed and sat down on his own bed, pulling out the rucksack full of his guns from underneath the bed, ignoring the pain in his shoulder as he did so, “Well if you’re just gonna sleep, I might as well do somethin useful.”
Mal brought his hand off his eyes and turned to watch Jayne. Every single one of his girls was sparklin they was so clean and polished, “How many times you cleaned your guns this week?” Mal asked him.
Jayne didn’t look up, “A few,” he admitted.
Mal seemed to remember Book telling him the story of how Jayne had informed him that when it came to death, he had the overbearing urge to feel alive, and being stuck here on this moon, runnin errands all week and sittin in on his own most nights probably hadn’t helped him any.
“It’s alright to be upset you know,” Mal said as he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
“I know,” Jayne said, “I just…” he lowered his gun and sighed before looking at Mal, “Dwellin on it ain’t gonna help no one. And I just… I ain’t got anythin else to concentrate on. Not here anyways.”
Mal nodded, knowing exactly what he was talking about, “Ain’t you visited the whore house yet?”
Jayne looked away from Mal, picking up his gun again, “No whore’s gonna help me right now. They didn’t know Wash or the Sheppard. How’re they supposed to understand what I’m goin through?”
“Well, what about one of the others?” Mal asked curiously, “Ain’t you talked to one of them?”
“Kaylee ain’t left the Doc’s side, Inara’s been looking after River, you’ve been in hospital all week and Zoe… well she’s got her own feelins to deal with.”
“Well, I’m here now,” Mal said, “Talk to me.”
“Gorramit Mal, I don’t wanna talk,” Jayne snapped, throwing his gun down on the bed, “I just… I need to forget for a while.”
“You need to forget?” Mal asked him, getting to his feet.
Jayne nodded, watching him carefully, “Yeah.”
“Stand up,” Mal said to him.
Jayne frowned but did as he was told, “Now what?”
Mal reached up, cupping Jayne’s face with his hand and placed the softest of kisses on his lips.
“Uh Mal?” Jayne asked, pulling back slightly to look at him.
“I need to forget too Jayne,” Mal said.
Seeing the same pain and desperation in Mal’s eyes as he’d seen in the mirror that morning, Jayne just nodded before leaning back down to kiss Mal back. Wrapping one hand around his neck, and the other around his waist, Mal stepped back, pulling Jayne with him towards the bed.
Letting Mal fall down onto the bed first, Jayne quickly pulled his boots off before climbing on top of him, making sure not to bump any of Mal’s injuries.
“Here,” Mal said, lying on his side so that Jayne could lie down next to him, “Don’t need you hurtin your shoulder anymore,” he added as Jayne lay down.
They looked at each other, searching each other’s faces for sign that this was too much, but there was none there and so closing his eyes, Mal pulled Jayne into a deep kiss.
This wasn’t the first time they had ended up in bed together. Far from it. Ever since Jayne had boarded Serenity, he and Mal had had many a drunken fumble. But there had never been any sober occasions, they had only had a couple of sloppy kisses and there had certainly never been any actual sexin. They had both usually passed out by that point. And so this was completely new territory to the both of them.
As Mal kissed Jayne, he unclipped his sling at the back of his neck, pulling it off and letting it fall onto the floor behind him. His hands then went to the buttons of his shirt, gently easing his shirt open and pushed it off his shoulders.
Jayne groaned slightly at the pain of shrugging his shirt off, but didn’t complain, instead wrapping his arms around Mal and kissing him again. As he held him tight, he reached down and began pulling Mal’s shirt out of his pants. Mal sat up and shrugged his suspenders off before getting Jayne to lie on his back so he could straddle him.
Jayne shifted, resting his hands on Mal’s hips before reaching up and pulling Mal’s shirt up and over his head. As Mal dropped his shirt onto the floor, Jayne reached up, tracing his fingers down the bruises still evident on his chest and ribs. He still had a small dressing on his stomach where he’d been stabbed, and Jayne couldn’t help but think how close he’d come to losin him.
“Hey,” Mal said, gently stroking Jayne’s cheek, “I didn’t die and I ain’t gonna.”
Jayne nodded, not quite capable of saying anything at the moment, instead pulling himself up to sit so he could kiss Mal again.
Mal wrapped his hands around Jayne’s neck, one of his hands threading up into his too long hair, while the other gripped at his good shoulder. As he felt Jayne’s hands travel from his hips to the buckle of his belt, he couldn’t help but smile a little.
Jayne looked up at him, giving Mal his own soft smile, closing his eyes as Mal tenderly kissed him on the nose. Opening his eyes again, he let Mal kiss him once more before he took his mouth away, reattaching himself onto Mal’s neck while his hands made quick work of unfastening Mal’s pants and pushing them as far off his hips as they would go.
“Lie down,” Mal said, pushing at him slightly and urging him to lie back on the bed.
When they were horizontal again, Mal quickly unfastened Jayne’s belt, pulling his pants and underwear down his long legs. Standing at the edge of the bed, he pulled them off the last of the way, before removing his socks and throwing them to the other side of the room. He then let his own pants and underwear drop onto the floor before climbing back up Jayne’s body, kissing and licking as he went.
Reaching his face again, Jayne pulled him down to capture his mouth with his own once more. He wrapped one arm around Mal’s waist, gently stroking his hand down his ass as his other went to his front and gripped his hard diao.
Mal gasped into his mouth, his hips automatically thrusting up into Jayne’s strong hand.
“Jayne?” he asked.
“Yeah?” Jayne asked, softly kissing his way along Mal’s jaw line.
“Have you got any…”
“Gun oil,” Jayne told him, pulling back to look into his deep blue eyes.
“Gun oil?” Mal asked dubiously.
Jayne shrugged, grunting again against the pain as he did so, “It’s all I got,” he told him.
Mal nodded, “Okay. We’ll just… have a bath or somethin later.”
Jayne smiled, letting go of Mal as he climbed off him again and went to retrieve the gun oil that was sat on his bed. Getting back on the bed, he straddled Jayne’s thighs again as he removed the lid off the tin.
“You sure you wanna use this?” Mal asked he scooped some of the black treacle like substance onto his fingers.
“Well we could go dry if you really want,” Jayne said, raising an eyebrow at him.
“On second thoughts, this ain’t so bad,” Mal said, scooping some more up and coating Jayne’s rock hard cock with it.
Jayne gasped slightly at the feeling of the gun oil on him, “Ruttin hell that’s cold,” he said making Mal smile.
“Here,” Mal said, holding the tin out for Jayne.
Dipping his fingers in, Jayne scooped some up before reaching between Mal’s legs and began covering his entrance with it, pushing his fingers inside to thoroughly coat him. Mal whimpered slightly at the feeling, pushing down on Jayne’s fingers, encouraging him to go deeper. However, before long, Jayne needed to feel more than Mal just clamping around his fingers and so removed them, grabbing hold of Mal’s hips instead and pulling him forward.
Reaching down, Mal took hold of Jayne’s diao and guided him towards his entrance. As he felt the head pushing against him, he looked up, his eyes connecting with Jayne’s. Neither of them looked away as Mal lowered himself onto him. Jayne held on tight and bit his lip, but he did not look away.
As he got used to the feel of Jayne sitting deep inside him, stretching him, Mal rested his hands on top of Jayne’s before he finally began to move.
Feeling Mal tightening himself around him as he pulled back, Jayne was unable to stop his eyes from rolling back in his head. He held on tight to Mal’s hips, not willing to let him get away but easing up when Mal took hold of his hands and thread their fingers together.
Looking back up at Mal, Jayne was sure Mal had never looked so good before. There his head thrown back in pleasure, his hands gripping onto Jayne’s hard as he rode him, he looked absolutely beautiful.
Unable to stay away, Jayne pulled himself back up to sit, pulling Mal into a hard kiss as their hips continued to move together.
Mal rested his arms around Jayne’s shoulder, his hand moving up to cup and Jayne’s jaw and subconsciously covering one side of his face in gun oil.
When they pulled back to catch their breath, Jayne buried his face in the crook of Mal’s neck, breathing in his scent as he listened to him pant in his ear. He wrapped his hands under his shoulders to pull him close, kissing his throat gently as he thrust up into him. Mal copied him, being careful not to hurt Jayne’s shoulder and removing any space that had been between their bodies.
They moved as one, clinging to each other’s sweaty and covered in gun oil bodies as they panted at the same time, feeling their pleasure build within them. Mal turned his head, nudging at Jayne’s forehead with his nose and making him turn his head too, allowing Mal to kiss him with so much passion that it finally pushed them both over the edge.
Thrusting up into him one last time, Jayne rested his forehead on Mal’s, staring into those big blue eyes of Mal’s as he felt his stomach being coated with Mal’s orgasm while his own was emptied into Mal himself.
They clung to each other, both of them gasping for breath and unwilling to move. But eventually, as their bodies began to calm down, the coldness coating their stomachs and the stickiness of the gun oil became too much and they moved into the small bathroom that was attached to their room.
As they stood and waited for the water in the shower to heat up, Jayne wrapped his arms around Mal’s waist and kissed him again. Mal smiled dopily at him before pulling him into the shower.
It took them longer than it should have to get clean, both of them carefully taking their wet dressings off and taking their time to wash each other’s sore and broken bodies which of course was interrupted by lots of kissing and fondling. They could have stayed under the water all day, the only thing making them step out being the hot water turning cold.
Grabbing a towel, Jayne carefully dried Mal before allowing him to return the favour. They then redressed each other’s wounds and went back into the bedroom.
“You want to get something to eat?” Mal asked him.
“It mean getting dressed?” Jayne asked back.
“Well yeah,” Mal told him with a smile.
Jayne grinned, pulling Mal towards him and wrapping his arms around him, “Then I’ll pass,” he said, earning a smile from Mal too before leaning down and pulling him into a soft, loving kiss.
THE END
CHINESE
Hundan - bastard
Diao - penis