existentialism is elusive
it's 12:30-something in the morning and i have my math and tong homeworks to do and i'm exhausted and falling asleep and listening to "giving up" by ingrid michaelson and i was picking my cuticle viciously and then i smeared blood all over my hand and i realized, just for a moment, that life doesn't have to be like this. it was fleeting, though, and now i'm back to thinking that i just have to push through because i don't know how to do anything else. how can i go back to where i was?