we must talk about our problems. we are in a state of flux
too many songs. i'll list them instead of posting--
- "coney island" by good old war
- "tell me" by good old war
- "happy ending" by mika
- "kill all your friends" by my chemical romance
- "pony (it's ok)" by erin mccarley
- "flux" by bloc party
- "swans" by unkle bob
if i close my eyes and listen to "street lights" by kanye west, i feel like it's fall again, like i'm driving home from my coffee shop with my mom, like the air smells of earth, like there are still fingerless gloves on my hands. it's so strong and strange and euphoric that i can't listen to that song too often or else it becomes overwhelming.
interesting weekend. got to hang out with some people i hadn't seen in a while. had a staring contest, good food, a dance party (complete with the cha-cha slide!), and some marriages. it was... funny.
two small facts--
1. i had a panic attack yesterday, the second one i've ever fully experienced. different symptoms this time. i thought i was having a heart attack because the chest pains were so severe. they radiated into my jaw, neck, shoulders, and spine and as a result, i had problems breathing. it was extremely frightening and not something i ever want to deal with again.
2. there is a small vase on my bedside stand. it is filled with droopy, heavy-headed daffodils, full and thick and fluffy. some are white and some are yellow. some are white and yellow. one is white and pink. each flower is unique, a snowflake made out of sunshine. cheesy, i know, but they cheer me up. the stems are long and green like the inside of an avocado. i love my daffodils, in case you couldn't tell. i put the vase on my windowsill today so that they could absorb the sun.
at tuesday's quartet rehearsal, we're trying on our performance dresses and then practicing outside (if the weather allows). it's nice to have things to look forward to.