A Learning Experience
As of midnight, it will be only two weeks until the John Mayer concert and I am looking forward to it for oh so many reasons. I feel like I'm recovering from whatever slump I was in before Friday night. It's so much easier to get through my days at work when I'm in a great mood. We'll see how long this lasts.
I have a thesis that I'm working on, one too opinionated and far-reaching to ever be proved. It's an over-generalization that is probably unfair but I'm going to make it anyway. I think lots of girls, especially Catholic girls, have at least one experience during early adolescence when they fool around with a guy (not always but frequently an older guy) just for the hell of it. Some end up thinking that something more will come of such an encounter and perhaps something does. But for a lot, nothing ever does.
I only made a statement like that because I could be included. Let's see, it was five years ago, late summer, when I think I learned a lot. The more I look back on it, the more I realize that I took away from it and while I think it was silly, I don't think it was wrong and I because I learned a lot from it, I feel it wasn't just a waste of hormones. The guy was someone from my high school, who shall remain nameless because I know some people reading this would know him if I mentioned him by name. It's really not important. It could have been anyone and it would not have made any difference. One thing that was important was that he was three years older than me and two years ahead of me in school. I was thirteen, for crying out loud. I know people can look at me now and still say that I'm young, but I look back five years ago and I'm blown away by how young I was at the time.
It was silly and pointless, just a little fooling around in his parked car. I have no emotional scars from it. At the time, I probably wanted it to be the beginning of something, but that feeling was not so overwhelming that I can remember it clearly today. It felt good to be wanted by someone older, even though I knew there were bad reasons for him to want me. Still, it felt good to me.
I still remember it because I took a lot of things away from that simple instant in time. I learned that physical contact before an emotional connection doesn't facilitate that emotional connection. If anything, it probably deters it. I learned that meaningful things don't come from such expressions based on solely on hormones. It's far more personally satisfying to have relationships based on trust, respect, and shared interests than it is to have a fling that exists only in the physical sense.
Besides, what's so wonderful about being desired if only one part of your being is desired? Isn't it just as bad to have a part of you be wanted and the rest cast aside as it is to be outright rejected? Doesn't that cause one to feel even more worthless?
Life is good. Good night.
¤Mary¤
P.S. Happy birthday, Jeffrey, you little perv :P
Quote of the Day:
(At work.)
Colleen: "Mary, when you run for president, can you make it mandatory that every man have at least one kidney stone in his lifetime? That way they'll know what it's like to be a woman."
Mary: "Sure, Colleen. But I don't think that will win me the male vote." ~ 8/4/03
I have a thesis that I'm working on, one too opinionated and far-reaching to ever be proved. It's an over-generalization that is probably unfair but I'm going to make it anyway. I think lots of girls, especially Catholic girls, have at least one experience during early adolescence when they fool around with a guy (not always but frequently an older guy) just for the hell of it. Some end up thinking that something more will come of such an encounter and perhaps something does. But for a lot, nothing ever does.
I only made a statement like that because I could be included. Let's see, it was five years ago, late summer, when I think I learned a lot. The more I look back on it, the more I realize that I took away from it and while I think it was silly, I don't think it was wrong and I because I learned a lot from it, I feel it wasn't just a waste of hormones. The guy was someone from my high school, who shall remain nameless because I know some people reading this would know him if I mentioned him by name. It's really not important. It could have been anyone and it would not have made any difference. One thing that was important was that he was three years older than me and two years ahead of me in school. I was thirteen, for crying out loud. I know people can look at me now and still say that I'm young, but I look back five years ago and I'm blown away by how young I was at the time.
It was silly and pointless, just a little fooling around in his parked car. I have no emotional scars from it. At the time, I probably wanted it to be the beginning of something, but that feeling was not so overwhelming that I can remember it clearly today. It felt good to be wanted by someone older, even though I knew there were bad reasons for him to want me. Still, it felt good to me.
I still remember it because I took a lot of things away from that simple instant in time. I learned that physical contact before an emotional connection doesn't facilitate that emotional connection. If anything, it probably deters it. I learned that meaningful things don't come from such expressions based on solely on hormones. It's far more personally satisfying to have relationships based on trust, respect, and shared interests than it is to have a fling that exists only in the physical sense.
Besides, what's so wonderful about being desired if only one part of your being is desired? Isn't it just as bad to have a part of you be wanted and the rest cast aside as it is to be outright rejected? Doesn't that cause one to feel even more worthless?
Life is good. Good night.
¤Mary¤
P.S. Happy birthday, Jeffrey, you little perv :P
Quote of the Day:
(At work.)
Colleen: "Mary, when you run for president, can you make it mandatory that every man have at least one kidney stone in his lifetime? That way they'll know what it's like to be a woman."
Mary: "Sure, Colleen. But I don't think that will win me the male vote." ~ 8/4/03