Two Days To Liftoff

[rtwgconspirator]

This is what frequently happens in my life. I want something very badly, something that I feel is out of my reach, something that I don't think I'll ever have. Then, by some strange miracle, I get what I want and suddenly, I get scared and I don't want it anymore. It's so easy for me to strongly want something that I figure I'll never have. There's

Comments

[zachadams]

You're too much like me sometimes. It's not healthy. :P

But since I can't really get rid of that part of me, myself, I guess I can't blame you. lol

Anyway...I'm not sure if you'll even read this before you see him tomorrow, but I guess it's not just about tomorrow, either. Sorry I'm late to begin with, though. I don't check everyday. Every few days, sure. ;p

Let's say for a moment that a couple things go wrong tomorrow. I'm sure you include very minor things in your definition of "things going wrong" because you're nervous. Now, a lot of these things are probably beyond your control. Maybe it's family, maybe a car breaks down or something evil like that. If he does like you, and - as I previously told you (a while ago) - it sounds like he probably does, he's going to be paying more attention to you than stuff like that. And he's human, too, I imagine, so I bet he can understand things like family and other random out-of-your-control things. He has them in his life, too. We all do.

Now, I don't mean to make you more nervous by saying he's going to be paying more attention to you, of course. Just be yourself. I mean, you don't want to base anything on a lie, so there's no reason not to be you. I don't really think I even need to tell YOU that, but I may as well cover all the bases. lol

Obviously, it's natural for you to be at least a little nervous. But if you get too wrapped up in being nervous and trying to make everything *perfect*...you're not gonna have time to have any fun. And if you're not having fun, I bet he won't be either. :P

I know you're going to put forth effort to make it go smoothly and everything, which is what counts. But if it doesn't go completely as planned, don't worry about it too much. Most things in life don't. And it doesn't necessarily hurt your chances with him (I guess it depends WHAT goes wrong. But it'd likely have to be something pretty major...not even thinking of anything atm. ;p)

Since it's 3am and I'm quite rambling for sure, I'll just say one more thing and end this. I can't even seem to find it in this post now, but I know I read something to the effect of you never found yourself desirable. dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot. dot dot. dot.

dot.

I'm...not even going to try to understand why, but that's really, REALLY something you need to get out of your head. I don't mean for you to be vain, either, but setting yourself up for failure before you begin won't help you with what you want. You know this. But that kind of statement is especially ridiculous. Especially coming from you. One, you're never going to be fair to yourself - most people aren't. So you'll never be the best judge for yourself. Two, just...NO. You're very wrong, just flat out wrong. So stop it and be yourself and ENJOY yourself.

You're an absolutely wonderful girl, and I'm not just saying that. You have very, very little to be afraid of. Just let yourself have fun. If it doesn't turn into something long-term, it might hurt you for a little while. But I don't think you'll be able to regret it, then. And hell, things certainly don't look bad at this point, from my little vantage point. I'm no fortune-teller, of course, but it doesn't look bad 'tall.

*stops rambling and goes to bed* Bye. :p Have fun tomorrow...today. Whatever. lol