Rose, Purity Culture, and Herd Mentality
Chapter 2 of Herd Mentality is up, with triggering warnings for dubious consent/rape, physical and emotional abuse.
I don’t like writing violence and I especially do not like writing point of view violence. There’s a reason why I pull back to tell things from outside points of view and this is one of them.
But in the last month or so, as I was reading the patheos blog and, among other things, the entries by Libby Anne, Love, Joy and Feminism, I realized that I had something to say how I believe certain aspects of American Christian culture are immoral in their treatment of women and children. The terrible violence done to Rose was the way to say it. [discussion of purity culture, abuse, rape, abduction, and other triggering issues below]
Much of this chapter was written before the events of this week. Charles Ramsey and Dominican Angel Cordero rescue kidnapped Amanda Berry, her child and two other kidnapped women from a house where they have been imprisoned for ten years here and here. It was also written before Elizabeth Smart who was kidnapped at age 14 in 2002 and held and raped for 9 months spoke at a Johns Hopkins conference on human trafficking. During her panel, in discussing why she didn’t run away from her rapist/captor, Ms. Smart said one factor was purity culture which engrained in her the belief that once you have had sex, a female is damaged beyond repair:
“I remember in school one time, I had a teacher who was talking about abstinence,” Smart told the panel. “And she said, ‘Imagine you’re a stick of gum. When you engage in sex, that’s like getting chewed. And if you do that lots of times, you’re going to become an old piece of gum, and who is going to want you after that?’ Well, that’s terrible. No one should ever say that. But for me, I thought, ‘I’m that chewed-up piece of gum.’ Nobody re-chews a piece of gum. You throw it away. And that’s how easy it is to feel you no longer have worth. Your life no longer has value.”
I knew about that chewing gum analogy because I’d been reading the patheos blog, Libby Anne's Love, Joy and Feminism and from there to the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Network. And so began my education in models of marriage and parenting that are as antithetical to my own as anything I had ever encountered. I found a blog about how purity culture taught a woman how to be abused. Rather than the chewing gum example, she had been taught with a rose and a candy bar the same lesson that her purity and virginity were the only things of value as a woman.
I decided to write Herd Mentality and that’s why Rose is the name she is, because the rose is frequently used as a prop to poison women into believing that if someone touches you too much, you are damaged beyond repair. It’s been an interesting month and the Narnia fandom has provided for me a glimpse into some really horrifying practices. Through the fandom, I had learned a year or two ago about the spare the rod/beat your infants with PVC tubing because the Bible and Daniel Pearl say so. I’d not known how engrained and pervasive this was nor the role certain institutions play in undermining child protection laws to avoid scrutiny of this and other practices.
The issue of the clash between sovereign (and colonial occupying) authority and cultural practice is not a new theme for me, to be sure. I’ve been dancing around tolerance, cultural autonomy and morality since the first chapters of Part 1 of TSG and female genital mutilation in British colonial territories. Given that the next chapter is titled, Rule of Law, you can guess where I am going with Rose's story as theocracy and cultural practice and belief collide with civil law.
Last, a word about the Otters and whether their compassion and savvy is OOC. In chapter 1, they receive oranges for their services. As readers of Harold and Morgan know, the Otters have a high regard for Banker Morgan. That her beloved companion was killed by snakes at the Glasswater is a significant reason why they are there now, Edmund’s negotiation with them in Part 1 of TSG notwithstanding. Further, they were at Cair Paravel a long time and saw and heard a lot.
Oddly, the timing was a coincidence. I’d written the Otters last week, before the rescue of the three women in Cleveland this week and before Elizabeth Smart highlighted the insidious nature of purity culture with her stick of gum story.
So, that's it. I had something to say. It's not about gratuitous violence. It's about what is done right now, every day to women and children.
This entry was originally posted at http://rthstewart.dreamwidth.org/92329.html. .
I don’t like writing violence and I especially do not like writing point of view violence. There’s a reason why I pull back to tell things from outside points of view and this is one of them.
But in the last month or so, as I was reading the patheos blog and, among other things, the entries by Libby Anne, Love, Joy and Feminism, I realized that I had something to say how I believe certain aspects of American Christian culture are immoral in their treatment of women and children. The terrible violence done to Rose was the way to say it. [discussion of purity culture, abuse, rape, abduction, and other triggering issues below]
Much of this chapter was written before the events of this week. Charles Ramsey and Dominican Angel Cordero rescue kidnapped Amanda Berry, her child and two other kidnapped women from a house where they have been imprisoned for ten years here and here. It was also written before Elizabeth Smart who was kidnapped at age 14 in 2002 and held and raped for 9 months spoke at a Johns Hopkins conference on human trafficking. During her panel, in discussing why she didn’t run away from her rapist/captor, Ms. Smart said one factor was purity culture which engrained in her the belief that once you have had sex, a female is damaged beyond repair:
“I remember in school one time, I had a teacher who was talking about abstinence,” Smart told the panel. “And she said, ‘Imagine you’re a stick of gum. When you engage in sex, that’s like getting chewed. And if you do that lots of times, you’re going to become an old piece of gum, and who is going to want you after that?’ Well, that’s terrible. No one should ever say that. But for me, I thought, ‘I’m that chewed-up piece of gum.’ Nobody re-chews a piece of gum. You throw it away. And that’s how easy it is to feel you no longer have worth. Your life no longer has value.”
I knew about that chewing gum analogy because I’d been reading the patheos blog, Libby Anne's Love, Joy and Feminism and from there to the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Network. And so began my education in models of marriage and parenting that are as antithetical to my own as anything I had ever encountered. I found a blog about how purity culture taught a woman how to be abused. Rather than the chewing gum example, she had been taught with a rose and a candy bar the same lesson that her purity and virginity were the only things of value as a woman.
I decided to write Herd Mentality and that’s why Rose is the name she is, because the rose is frequently used as a prop to poison women into believing that if someone touches you too much, you are damaged beyond repair. It’s been an interesting month and the Narnia fandom has provided for me a glimpse into some really horrifying practices. Through the fandom, I had learned a year or two ago about the spare the rod/beat your infants with PVC tubing because the Bible and Daniel Pearl say so. I’d not known how engrained and pervasive this was nor the role certain institutions play in undermining child protection laws to avoid scrutiny of this and other practices.
The issue of the clash between sovereign (and colonial occupying) authority and cultural practice is not a new theme for me, to be sure. I’ve been dancing around tolerance, cultural autonomy and morality since the first chapters of Part 1 of TSG and female genital mutilation in British colonial territories. Given that the next chapter is titled, Rule of Law, you can guess where I am going with Rose's story as theocracy and cultural practice and belief collide with civil law.
Last, a word about the Otters and whether their compassion and savvy is OOC. In chapter 1, they receive oranges for their services. As readers of Harold and Morgan know, the Otters have a high regard for Banker Morgan. That her beloved companion was killed by snakes at the Glasswater is a significant reason why they are there now, Edmund’s negotiation with them in Part 1 of TSG notwithstanding. Further, they were at Cair Paravel a long time and saw and heard a lot.
Oddly, the timing was a coincidence. I’d written the Otters last week, before the rescue of the three women in Cleveland this week and before Elizabeth Smart highlighted the insidious nature of purity culture with her stick of gum story.
So, that's it. I had something to say. It's not about gratuitous violence. It's about what is done right now, every day to women and children.
This entry was originally posted at http://rthstewart.dreamwidth.org/92329.html. .