As for more, see comment response in previous entry from Part 1. This has been SO HARD to do. I recently got a review from someone for a chapter of TQSiT and I realized how much I depend upon feedback to guide future developments. I DO pander, but I also really read very closely what others say and write. Some things I don't change, but I do pay very close attention to everything.
I did feel that maybe there wasn't enough internalization for Edmund when he suddenly blurts out that he wants her to stay longer. But, then the whole 2,000 words proceeding it are mostly introspection that he really likes the current situation, he wants it to continue, and he's having a really hard time trying to fit this in where it belongs. Their experiences would be so limited -- Lune's wife is dead. The Tisroc has many wives and the Tarkaans take very young and possibly multiple wives. Narnias are all over the map. They don't remember all that well what it was like where they came from. And Edmund has completely ceded that Future of Narnia/heirs/marriage business to Peter and Susan. This one has come out of nowhere and he's really struggling to figure it out. But, your point about the big step of introducing her to Aslan is well taken -- maybe that is too big a step at this point? Hmmm. maybe that needs to come out...
On the other hand, Edmund is really just blundering around here and Morgan's not much better.
I did feel that maybe there wasn't enough internalization for Edmund when he suddenly blurts out that he wants her to stay longer. But, then the whole 2,000 words proceeding it are mostly introspection that he really likes the current situation, he wants it to continue, and he's having a really hard time trying to fit this in where it belongs. Their experiences would be so limited -- Lune's wife is dead. The Tisroc has many wives and the Tarkaans take very young and possibly multiple wives. Narnias are all over the map. They don't remember all that well what it was like where they came from. And Edmund has completely ceded that Future of Narnia/heirs/marriage business to Peter and Susan. This one has come out of nowhere and he's really struggling to figure it out. But, your point about the big step of introducing her to Aslan is well taken -- maybe that is too big a step at this point? Hmmm. maybe that needs to come out...
On the other hand, Edmund is really just blundering around here and Morgan's not much better.
much to think about! Thank you so much!!!
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