home- is where i want to be/ but i guess i'm already there
i'm so happy right now, i feel like writing, and i don't know what's going to come out. so here goes, i suppose.
just spent like 4 hours at the rooster tonight with lafe and family (mostly the family, as he was with cannonball and they were just being geeked about rothbury the whole time). but i talked with his mom and i talked with kate and i talked with all the rest of his family and in-laws and i taught jaycee how to use a mechanical pencil and i wondered in awe at his family's musical ability and i talked with people about learning violin and how i'm taking lessons in the fall. i was told again that if i got a ticket to LA, i'd totally have a place to stay. i talked with a guy about how awkward it is when people do strange handshakes and we did one anyways. i talked about work and life goals and how lynn did on the stats class i helped her with (she got a B+!!) and fretted about the spanish final i took today (hopefully my last spanish thing EVER). i hugged lots of people, sang along whenever i knew the words (not very often), listened to fountains of wayne songs played by two guitars, an upright bass, and a mandolin. jokingly talked about getting wasted before i got home, resolved again to go home and practice like crazy on my violin. decided that you don't have to make a huge difference in the world to be happy, that having your family around, playing music and singing along is probably the best thing in the world to aspire for.
i also went to a new doctor today (i don't remember the last time i saw the same doctor twice), and while i was super nervous about it (just a checkup), everything turned out fine and she's really nice (even if she has a slight moustache), and made me feel super happy and comfortable talking to her. she suggested i take a scuba diving class and went on and told me how much fun it is and how it's expensive to start but after that it's real cheap to continue. and i'm so glad it went well because lately i've been really anxious about doctors because i'm scared of going in and they find something and it leads to tests and surgeries and treatments and all sorts of awful things. i think its because of my mom, where going to a new doctor (or a doctor at all), just meant finding something new that had to be taken care of.
i think i'm relaxing a lot about a lot of stuff. maybe it's part of feeling more grown up, but i'm slowly becoming more accepting of a lot of stuff i guess. either way.
i really want to get some talking heads music and also some django reinhardt to listen to.
i watched lars and the real girl (again) and the charlie bartlett movie today, both of which i thought were great. charlie bartlett is ridiculously cute, and honestly the plot reminded me of stargirl.
i applied to volunteer at the spca today, and hopefully they'll let me come in. it would be so awesome for me to do that, since they have a couple exotic animals like kinkajous and coatimundis and servals that would look just awesome on a resume. i really need to get some sort of animal handling experience soon, i really need it.
and i'm going to try to take this weekend and just chill out about things that i've been overthinking and try not to freak out and get all mad and angry like i have and just let everything slide this weekend. overall, i just really need to relax.
right now i have a headache and i notice that happens a lot when i do things like parties around a lot of people that i like and am trying to pay attention to and maybe this isn't normal but it happens to me.
i love me and i love life and i love driving and singing in the dark and i'm just generally really happy tonight
just spent like 4 hours at the rooster tonight with lafe and family (mostly the family, as he was with cannonball and they were just being geeked about rothbury the whole time). but i talked with his mom and i talked with kate and i talked with all the rest of his family and in-laws and i taught jaycee how to use a mechanical pencil and i wondered in awe at his family's musical ability and i talked with people about learning violin and how i'm taking lessons in the fall. i was told again that if i got a ticket to LA, i'd totally have a place to stay. i talked with a guy about how awkward it is when people do strange handshakes and we did one anyways. i talked about work and life goals and how lynn did on the stats class i helped her with (she got a B+!!) and fretted about the spanish final i took today (hopefully my last spanish thing EVER). i hugged lots of people, sang along whenever i knew the words (not very often), listened to fountains of wayne songs played by two guitars, an upright bass, and a mandolin. jokingly talked about getting wasted before i got home, resolved again to go home and practice like crazy on my violin. decided that you don't have to make a huge difference in the world to be happy, that having your family around, playing music and singing along is probably the best thing in the world to aspire for.
i also went to a new doctor today (i don't remember the last time i saw the same doctor twice), and while i was super nervous about it (just a checkup), everything turned out fine and she's really nice (even if she has a slight moustache), and made me feel super happy and comfortable talking to her. she suggested i take a scuba diving class and went on and told me how much fun it is and how it's expensive to start but after that it's real cheap to continue. and i'm so glad it went well because lately i've been really anxious about doctors because i'm scared of going in and they find something and it leads to tests and surgeries and treatments and all sorts of awful things. i think its because of my mom, where going to a new doctor (or a doctor at all), just meant finding something new that had to be taken care of.
i think i'm relaxing a lot about a lot of stuff. maybe it's part of feeling more grown up, but i'm slowly becoming more accepting of a lot of stuff i guess. either way.
i really want to get some talking heads music and also some django reinhardt to listen to.
i watched lars and the real girl (again) and the charlie bartlett movie today, both of which i thought were great. charlie bartlett is ridiculously cute, and honestly the plot reminded me of stargirl.
i applied to volunteer at the spca today, and hopefully they'll let me come in. it would be so awesome for me to do that, since they have a couple exotic animals like kinkajous and coatimundis and servals that would look just awesome on a resume. i really need to get some sort of animal handling experience soon, i really need it.
and i'm going to try to take this weekend and just chill out about things that i've been overthinking and try not to freak out and get all mad and angry like i have and just let everything slide this weekend. overall, i just really need to relax.
right now i have a headache and i notice that happens a lot when i do things like parties around a lot of people that i like and am trying to pay attention to and maybe this isn't normal but it happens to me.
i love me and i love life and i love driving and singing in the dark and i'm just generally really happy tonight