The Beholders, Part VII: Kingsley, Revisited
Author/Artist:
author_by_night
Title: The Beholders
Part VII: Kingsley
Rating & Warnings: PG-13
Word Count/Art Medium: 1,011
Prompt(s): 4. Style: Multple narrators, not to be Remus or Tonks.
Summary: For better or worse, Remus and Tonks didn't always know how to see themselves. At their worst, they were too similar for comfort, yet too
different to grasp. At their best, they were deeply in love, and that was all that mattered.
Warning: Character deaths.
Kingsley, Revisited
May 1998
Kingsley remembered when he'd first joined the Order. As it happened, it had been just before the war ended.
He had known Remus in school, but the Remus he met was different. Sadder. There were more stakes, he supposed, than there had been at Hogwarts. When the war ended and Kingsley saw Remus at the funerals of James, Lily, and Peter, Remus was more withdrawn than ever. He had the look, Kingsley recalled, of a man who'd just lost everything.
Kingsley understood that now.
Alice and Frank, still mad from the torture they'd endured all those years before. Sirius, gone before his name had been cleared, shock on his face as he disappeared behind the veil. Amelia, the crucial voice of reason in a corrupt Ministry. Emmeline, killed refusing to back down, because she'd never been one to do so. Sturgis, never quite right after Azkaban, then losing Emmeline - Kingsley's old friend was angry and bitter anymore. Dumbledore, so much more than anyone could explain. Alastor, who went with Mundungus so no one else might be left to die instead. Severus, the ally they'd given up all hope for. Remus, killed helping a former student fight Dolohov. Tonks, fighting her greatest adversary.
It was all well and good to be named Minister; Kingsley took the honour gladly. He could be a Minister. He could write and give speeches, push for new laws and regulations, get rid of barbaric ones, write up decrees to find the missing and assist those now without anywhere to go. Those were the things a Minister was to do, things that weren't easy, but were nonetheless workable because they had functions and means, a process which must be followed.
Being a person was much harder.
The funeral was respectful; because Dora - Kingsley could only think of her in terms of affection right now - was a Hufflepuff, they'd had the Fat Friar officiate. Andromeda and Lyall stood together, beyond words or tears. Harry was with them, eventually taking Teddy into his arms. Kingsley was sure he had heard Harry mutter "expecto patronum" as the grave was covered. They'd even managed a few laughs, which Kingsley was glad for -- that was what they would have wanted.
Still not the same thing as what Kingsley couldn't have.
Kingsley knew things would have to be returned, so he walked into the Auror office, and began to clear her desk. He was surprised the Death Eaters hadn't descrated it. A few new Aurors saw him, but said nothing. There was nothing to be said.
"Kingsley?"
Kingsley looked up; Hestia had walked in.
"I figured you'd need some help," she explained. Her eyes were red, and there were lines under them. Her usually pink-cheeked face was pale.
"I'm okay..."
Hestia laughed. "Really? You're okay? Kingsley... you've barely spoken to anyone, and don't you dare say it's that you're busy. Anyway, they were my friends too. Dora was one of the first real friends I ever had."
"I realize that. I'm very sorry."
"You don't have to be." Hestia sighed. "I heard they won the Order of Merlin."
"Lyall and Andromeda won't accept Remus's plaque, nor Dora's. They say it's too late."
"Can you really blame them, after everything the Ministry put Remus through?" Hestia asked.
Kingsley shook his head. "Not in the slightest. But Teddy should have them."
One by one small things were put in the box; old pictures, Dora's Auror certificate, Dora's Auror badge, paperwork, other miscellany. The last thing that caught Kingsley's eye was a picture of Remus and Dora around the time they would have first started dating, sitting in a couch laughing hysterically.
"That was them," Hestia said.
Thinking about Remus troubled Kingsley once more. Of all the people who understood what Kingsley was going through... Kingsley had never asked Remus how he did it without losing his mind.
"I think that picture's supposed to make you happy," Hestia joked wryly.
"It's just...." Kingsley stopped, and put the picture in the box. "I think we're done, here."
"Oh, no you don't. You may be the Minister, but you'll always be Kingsley to me. What's on your mind?'
"I just wonder how they did it. Especially Remus, losing all of his friends..."
Hestia took his hand. "It wasn't always easy, but they learned to let others in. They let one another in. That right there is a start."
Kingsley smiled, and stood with Hestia for a minute. He then picked up the box and head out the door with Hestia in tow, not intending to let her go far. Apparently she wasn't intending to let him fo far, either.
"I think you should keep the plaques," Hestia said suddenly as they got on the lift. "Then you can give them to Teddy yourself."
"Because I'm the Minister?"
Hestia rolled her eyes. "You're already that full of yourself? No. Because in the end, you were the one who shielded Sirius, who mentored Tonks, who was a dear friend to Remus, who led the Order in Dumbledore's absence before and after his death... I think Remus and Tonks would have wanted it to come from you."
Kingsley was taken aback. "Thank you, Hesta. You're very wise, you know that?"
"Only wth the help of some friends," Hestia said with a sad smile. "Well, I must dash, I'm to meet Charlie, Bill and Fleur. I don't expect there to be many laughs, but... I need to be there. Don't disappear on me, okay?"
"I won't," Kingsley promised.
And he meant it. Because he knew that although they'd sometimes felt it, Remus and Dora had never been that alone; once they'd learned to open up to others, they'd understood how loved they were, by their family, by their friends, by one another. They wouldn't have wanted him to make the same mistakes, to withdraw from the people who cared for him.
So he wouldn't.