Fic: This love...
Title: This love
Author: pinkhairedauror
Format & Word Count: ficlet, 718 words
Rating: R
Prompt: 15: Tell him
Warning: ... somewhat erotic imagery
Summary: She's feeling too much... and one day she won't be able to hold it in anymore.
Author's Note: Set during Order of the Phoenix. Cut line from Jacques Prevert's poem "This Love".
If that guy's got into your blood
She's long ago given up pretending to herself she doesn't care.
Admittedly, history has demonstrated that it doesn't take much for her to stop not caring, but it's never been like this.
She can feel his eyes on her when she's explaining something. They don't make her feel uncomfortable, though. She may pause for a moment, fighting the temptation to meet those eyes and get lost in them, but it doesn't discomfit her.
He's listening with attention. She may be among the youngest members of the Order, but she's there, and he's willing to hear her out.
And she can feel his breath when he leans with her over a document or a map. Maybe he's not even aware he's that close, but she can feel the way her clothes or her hair are disturbed by his breathing out, and she doesn't want to move... no. She doesn't want HIM to move.
And his hands... Those elegant, careful hands with long fingers that draw her eyes all the time.
Occasionally, when she is all alone, or in her dreams at night, she can feel those hands running over her body... caressing the depression between the side of her waist and the hip as she's laying on her side in the candlelight... feeling the smoothness and relief of her breasts...
Those are dreams.
But they make... he makes her blood boil. All the time, when he's near and when he isn't.
the very part of you
That makes you want to breathe
She cherishes each moment when she's in the same room as him. During order meetings, when everyone's focused on the work to be done; or when they're just together - with Sirius, observing the various levels of communication between them, coming from years and years of such close proximity as she's not known. As she's not needed to know. Or when they are alone in a room, drawn into discussions of current events or books or just finding ways to laugh - he can laugh as well as her at the absurdity of the world.
He can make her laugh. She can make him too. The rich chuckle ... the soft husky mirth... the rare times when he throws his head back and laughs from the heart.
The times when he agrees, and the times when he disagrees. And times they argue and he makes her see new things, and when she gets him to admit she's right.
Sometimes, when things are hard and dreary, when she's in a situation over her head at work or on a mission, or when the walls are closing in around her, all alone, she's only going through because she's looking forward to the next time when his voice brings new hope to her heart.
Sometimes, he becomes the reason she goes on breathing. Fighting.
And she's fighting all the time, these days.
Tell him that you're never gonna leave him
Tell him that you're always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him
Some part of her is screaming that she tell him. That she lay her heart, her love, her self at his feet.
She knows this is much more than she's ever felt before. She knows it comes from a source that isn't going to drain, ever. She'd not stop feeling he's the sun in her sky, come anything. Not ever.
But it's never the right time. There's always something going on that makes her lips lock up.
This is no time for romance. Neither out, where the war is raging, nor inside the house where they mostly meet, with Sirius prisoner inside the hidden walls and all the echoes of curses and darkness - left by her ancestors - and with work to be done, and with people in danger always pulling at their attention. Not with the awkwardness that her admission would bring inside the tight circle when everyone needs to be able to trust everyone else with their lives.
There's no place and no time for her words, for her feelings, yet she knows, just as she knows she shouldn't, that one of these days something will happen and they will all spill, burning, into admissions and promises that will change them for ever. Because she's not that good at pretending. Because there are things that, even if the time may be wrong, are right.
Because this love... is bigger than even her heart, and when she cannot hold it in anymore, it will flood the world.
Author: pinkhairedauror
Format & Word Count: ficlet, 718 words
Rating: R
Prompt: 15: Tell him
Warning: ... somewhat erotic imagery
Summary: She's feeling too much... and one day she won't be able to hold it in anymore.
Author's Note: Set during Order of the Phoenix. Cut line from Jacques Prevert's poem "This Love".
If that guy's got into your blood
She's long ago given up pretending to herself she doesn't care.
Admittedly, history has demonstrated that it doesn't take much for her to stop not caring, but it's never been like this.
She can feel his eyes on her when she's explaining something. They don't make her feel uncomfortable, though. She may pause for a moment, fighting the temptation to meet those eyes and get lost in them, but it doesn't discomfit her.
He's listening with attention. She may be among the youngest members of the Order, but she's there, and he's willing to hear her out.
And she can feel his breath when he leans with her over a document or a map. Maybe he's not even aware he's that close, but she can feel the way her clothes or her hair are disturbed by his breathing out, and she doesn't want to move... no. She doesn't want HIM to move.
And his hands... Those elegant, careful hands with long fingers that draw her eyes all the time.
Occasionally, when she is all alone, or in her dreams at night, she can feel those hands running over her body... caressing the depression between the side of her waist and the hip as she's laying on her side in the candlelight... feeling the smoothness and relief of her breasts...
Those are dreams.
But they make... he makes her blood boil. All the time, when he's near and when he isn't.
the very part of you
That makes you want to breathe
She cherishes each moment when she's in the same room as him. During order meetings, when everyone's focused on the work to be done; or when they're just together - with Sirius, observing the various levels of communication between them, coming from years and years of such close proximity as she's not known. As she's not needed to know. Or when they are alone in a room, drawn into discussions of current events or books or just finding ways to laugh - he can laugh as well as her at the absurdity of the world.
He can make her laugh. She can make him too. The rich chuckle ... the soft husky mirth... the rare times when he throws his head back and laughs from the heart.
The times when he agrees, and the times when he disagrees. And times they argue and he makes her see new things, and when she gets him to admit she's right.
Sometimes, when things are hard and dreary, when she's in a situation over her head at work or on a mission, or when the walls are closing in around her, all alone, she's only going through because she's looking forward to the next time when his voice brings new hope to her heart.
Sometimes, he becomes the reason she goes on breathing. Fighting.
And she's fighting all the time, these days.
Tell him that you're never gonna leave him
Tell him that you're always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him
Some part of her is screaming that she tell him. That she lay her heart, her love, her self at his feet.
She knows this is much more than she's ever felt before. She knows it comes from a source that isn't going to drain, ever. She'd not stop feeling he's the sun in her sky, come anything. Not ever.
But it's never the right time. There's always something going on that makes her lips lock up.
This is no time for romance. Neither out, where the war is raging, nor inside the house where they mostly meet, with Sirius prisoner inside the hidden walls and all the echoes of curses and darkness - left by her ancestors - and with work to be done, and with people in danger always pulling at their attention. Not with the awkwardness that her admission would bring inside the tight circle when everyone needs to be able to trust everyone else with their lives.
There's no place and no time for her words, for her feelings, yet she knows, just as she knows she shouldn't, that one of these days something will happen and they will all spill, burning, into admissions and promises that will change them for ever. Because she's not that good at pretending. Because there are things that, even if the time may be wrong, are right.
Because this love... is bigger than even her heart, and when she cannot hold it in anymore, it will flood the world.