Help Me To Breathe
Title: Help Me To Breathe
Author:
summoner_lenne9 )
Format & Word Count: Ficlet, 788 words
Rating: PG
Prompt: Prompt 2 (Girl falling)
Warning: ODD, dream, angst, bright colors of font
Summary: She would rather live in a world devoid of colour than in a world without him. He is her breath, and she suffocates without him.
Author's Note: Well, in reaction to my first fic being almost 5,000 words long and that it's 11 at night and I STILL haven't started on my homework, this is short. It's odd. Very odd. I need music to write, and so this fic is inspired by BOA's 'Duvet'. And, yes, I DID have fun with the colors :). (I edited them to be easier to read, by the way.)
Help Me To Breathe
She was falling.
And yet, she didn't feel any of the normal terror and fright of free-falling through time and space, and colours and existence. Her stomach was not dropping out, the air was not rushing by her announcing imminent doom, the ground was not approaching with death. Instead all she felt was a peace, a rapture, as she fell and fell. She didn't need to feel pain anymore, she didn't need to suffer anymore- it was all gone, it was not even in the past because time did not exist here- she may as well have been imperiused.
The lines were blurring, and fading, and she was as well, becoming everything and yet nothing, but she still did not know why, or why she was falling. It might have been raining- lines of existence were falling down upon her, and yet all she felt was completly tranquil and at ease.
She couldn't breathe, though. She was suffocating and she knew she shouldn't care, she shouldn't care that life was leaving her and she couldn't breathe, and yet she did. She did. Because she was drowning.
Let me breathe, I need to breathe....
Just give in. It's so much easier. We can live this way, without pain, surrounded by colours with no emotion. Just give in.
But I don't want to, there's still, there's still something....
Something. Something she needed to reach, but she couldn't remember what it was. Something that mattered more than her soul.
You're happier here. A part of her mind insisted. Your happier, can't you feel it? You're free, your are yourself again, you have colours again.
But I can't breathe.
She was still falling, and she opened her eyes, and the world around her was full of colours, yet no sound. Just colours. Her pink hair streaming behind her.
But black's seeping into it. Black's seeping into my hair.
And something worse than the black, at the base of her skull, working it's way through, shrinking and tearing- the colour of death, the colour of her pain, the brown... and the rest of the colours, they were starting to fade to a gray-scale, a world of gray and white and silver and black and brown....
See what is happening? If you give in, if you close your eyes, you'll be happy, you'll be happy and endless. Stop fighting, stop fighting and it'll leave us in peace.
But I can't breathe.
He has taken your breathe away.
It's his. It was never mine to begin with. I'll live without colour, if I can have any portion of him. This meaningless floating- this is not existence, this is not floating, not without him.
She couldn't remember who he was, and yet she knew. He was everything. And if he was not in this place, then this place was nothing.
But you do not have him anymore.
I have enough of him. I have the moon.~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~And the world cleared, and she was suddenly tumbling down to earth- her stomach was giving out on her and her hair was shrinking into her skull as it became mousy brown, and the moon shown on her- the sky was dark and the moon was bright, the brilliant blue of before was wiped out, gone, as if they have never existed. All those colours were demolished from existence on her command, and she could breathe but every breath ached and tore at her, as the moon filled her up, of longing, of love, or agony, for him~~~~~
Tonks jolted awake, breathing raggedly, her hand clutching the locket Mum had given her that she always wore around her neck.. Daddy had given it to her before, when they had first ran away and eloped, but it was now Tonks's, and she kept two pictures inside, on either side of the heart- one of her mum and dad, and one of the man she loved, of the utter fool who would not love her back anymore. Tears were streaming down her face, and she couldn't stop hyperventilating. She leaned her head back against the headboard and took slow, deep gulping breaths which did nothing to soothe her, never letting go of her locket, her heart, and after a few moments glanced out the window.
The full moon streamed through her curtains, illuminating her mousy hair, threading silver strands through it. She tentatively picked up a lock, staring at it.
She kissed her locket, clutching it to her heart, and took more deep breaths, the dream from before gone and lost to her conscious mind, but the need to breathe and gulp up air and existence- even this miserable one- all-consuming.
She thought she heard a wolf howl.
Author:
summoner_lenne9 )
Format & Word Count: Ficlet, 788 words
Rating: PG
Prompt: Prompt 2 (Girl falling)
Warning: ODD, dream, angst, bright colors of font
Summary: She would rather live in a world devoid of colour than in a world without him. He is her breath, and she suffocates without him.
Author's Note: Well, in reaction to my first fic being almost 5,000 words long and that it's 11 at night and I STILL haven't started on my homework, this is short. It's odd. Very odd. I need music to write, and so this fic is inspired by BOA's 'Duvet'. And, yes, I DID have fun with the colors :). (I edited them to be easier to read, by the way.)
Help Me To Breathe
She was falling.
And yet, she didn't feel any of the normal terror and fright of free-falling through time and space, and colours and existence. Her stomach was not dropping out, the air was not rushing by her announcing imminent doom, the ground was not approaching with death. Instead all she felt was a peace, a rapture, as she fell and fell. She didn't need to feel pain anymore, she didn't need to suffer anymore- it was all gone, it was not even in the past because time did not exist here- she may as well have been imperiused.
The lines were blurring, and fading, and she was as well, becoming everything and yet nothing, but she still did not know why, or why she was falling. It might have been raining- lines of existence were falling down upon her, and yet all she felt was completly tranquil and at ease.
She couldn't breathe, though. She was suffocating and she knew she shouldn't care, she shouldn't care that life was leaving her and she couldn't breathe, and yet she did. She did. Because she was drowning.
Let me breathe, I need to breathe....
Just give in. It's so much easier. We can live this way, without pain, surrounded by colours with no emotion. Just give in.
But I don't want to, there's still, there's still something....
Something. Something she needed to reach, but she couldn't remember what it was. Something that mattered more than her soul.
You're happier here. A part of her mind insisted. Your happier, can't you feel it? You're free, your are yourself again, you have colours again.
But I can't breathe.
She was still falling, and she opened her eyes, and the world around her was full of colours, yet no sound. Just colours. Her pink hair streaming behind her.
But black's seeping into it. Black's seeping into my hair.
And something worse than the black, at the base of her skull, working it's way through, shrinking and tearing- the colour of death, the colour of her pain, the brown... and the rest of the colours, they were starting to fade to a gray-scale, a world of gray and white and silver and black and brown....
See what is happening? If you give in, if you close your eyes, you'll be happy, you'll be happy and endless. Stop fighting, stop fighting and it'll leave us in peace.
But I can't breathe.
He has taken your breathe away.
It's his. It was never mine to begin with. I'll live without colour, if I can have any portion of him. This meaningless floating- this is not existence, this is not floating, not without him.
She couldn't remember who he was, and yet she knew. He was everything. And if he was not in this place, then this place was nothing.
But you do not have him anymore.
I have enough of him. I have the moon.~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~And the world cleared, and she was suddenly tumbling down to earth- her stomach was giving out on her and her hair was shrinking into her skull as it became mousy brown, and the moon shown on her- the sky was dark and the moon was bright, the brilliant blue of before was wiped out, gone, as if they have never existed. All those colours were demolished from existence on her command, and she could breathe but every breath ached and tore at her, as the moon filled her up, of longing, of love, or agony, for him~~~~~
Tonks jolted awake, breathing raggedly, her hand clutching the locket Mum had given her that she always wore around her neck.. Daddy had given it to her before, when they had first ran away and eloped, but it was now Tonks's, and she kept two pictures inside, on either side of the heart- one of her mum and dad, and one of the man she loved, of the utter fool who would not love her back anymore. Tears were streaming down her face, and she couldn't stop hyperventilating. She leaned her head back against the headboard and took slow, deep gulping breaths which did nothing to soothe her, never letting go of her locket, her heart, and after a few moments glanced out the window.
The full moon streamed through her curtains, illuminating her mousy hair, threading silver strands through it. She tentatively picked up a lock, staring at it.
She kissed her locket, clutching it to her heart, and took more deep breaths, the dream from before gone and lost to her conscious mind, but the need to breathe and gulp up air and existence- even this miserable one- all-consuming.
She thought she heard a wolf howl.