(no subject)
Title: Turnabout's Fair Play
Author:
princesstopaz
Format & Word Count: Fic, 2772
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: 15- Picture of rolled up parchment tied with a bow.
Warning: Sexual references, humour, romance is a bit mild.
Summary: Tired of Remus' insistence on calling her 'Nymphadora', Tonks takes revenge... to unexpected consequences.
Author's Note: I also claim partial inspiration from an icon, the owner of which I can't recall and apologise to. Also, I wanted this to be short, sweet, funny and then the gits got serious on me. *sigh* No, literally, not him.... Though if he looks like Gary Oldman, I've got no complaints.
“Sirius, have you seen Nymphadora?”
“Why do you keep calling her that? You know she hates it.”
“It’s her name. Now have you seen her?”
“Why do you want to know?”
Tonks took this as the cue to lay her trap, and at once set the roll of parchment signed "For Remus" on the table, barely sparing a moment to straighten its bow, (and then pick it up again after she knocked it over hurrying away) before shrinking herself and dashing into the relative safety of Kreacher’s cupboard to watch Remus walk into it.
“No, I haven’t seen my brightly coloured little cousin; she must be out on duty.”
“I thought she was off tonight, for both work and the Order?”
She supposed she should feel guilty about this. After all, Remus Lupin generally had precious little to smile about nowadays, stuck at Grimmauld Place babysitting Sirius, who knew and did not appreciate it, being perennially unemployed, by Ministry mandate, and as a result, broke. Being a werewolf just added to the hell, just a simple trip out to restock the pantry could become another great humiliating moment in his life. His missions for the Order could only take place at odd hours of the day or night, when the chances of someone recognising him and subsequently thwarting or compromising the mission were significantly reduced. And of course, there was no hiding his pain and frustration whenever they received reports from the children of the latest atrocity committed by Dolores Umbridge, self-appointed Hogwarts High Inquisitor, incompetent teacher and bane of those considered magical creatures everywhere.
He never made a big fuss about this, of course, as usual taking everything life dolled out to him with a civil smile and grace she was secretly grateful and envious that she would never possess.
“Well go look, if you’re so anxious to see her, you lovesick cub, you.”
“I’m not... what did you call me?”
She also supposed she should be worried about doing this. Remus Lupin, resident werewolf of the Order of the Phoenix’s headquarters at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, and former ‘best Defence Against the Dark Arts’ teacher to grace the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for years, was also Remus Lupin, Messr Moony, former Marauder and one-fourth of the infamous hell-raisers of Hogwarts. If anything went wrong and he came to the conclusion that it was she and not Sirius who pulled this prank... well, reports of his days as a Marauder were legendary among the kids. And though he emphatically denied most of it, she did not want to think of what he could do to her.
But it was too late to change anything now. He’d called her “Nymphadora” one too many times, and had absolutely no good reason to, like being a former teacher or a superior. He had developed an annoying habit in recent weeks to acting overly gallant around her, opening doors and pulling out chairs, pouring her tea... as if she couldn't do it herself, and pretending that every iota of rough treatment she got at work wounded him personally. The way he sometimes tended to the bruises she got.... She knew she was clumsy and she had a rough job, being an Auror wasn't baking cookies and hosting dinner parties! If she could help it, he was going to stop that, damn it!
“Nymphadora...?”
His footsteps were like dull thuds on the ancient wooden stairs, he sneezed as he entered at the kitchen at build-up of the latest layer of most noble cobwebs, and after a moment of silence, took the bait.
“What’s this?”
Tonks could barely contain her excitement. She was going to get him. Fred and George Weasley weren’t the only ones who could be inventive with magic. He would open the parchment and it would explode like a Muggle bank dye pack and coat his hair pink. She'd charmed it so that only his hair would be dyed though, so while his head and beard would look like he'd fallen into a cotton candy machine, the rest of him would be practically spotless. If he caught her she didn't want to think of the trouble she'd have convincing him to let her buy him new clothes.
And as she'd arranged, there was suddenly a loud “poof!” It was quickly followed by the tinkling of fairy dust falling through his hair, hands and fingers to the table top and the ground below, and then the glorious sound of his shout of horror and rage. “What the...? SIRIUS!”
Tonks had to bite down on her lips and clamp her hands over her mouth to stop herself from bursting into loud laughter. She could just see him standing there with pink hair, and with the grey like gold highlights... she was shaking so badly she feared she would fall over and expose her hiding place.
More thuds on the stairs, faster now, and Sirius’ voice calling down, “What’s the matter... Moony!” There was another moment of silence, and then Sirius' barking laugh boomed through the kitchen. Tonks desperately stuffed her fist into her mouth as her eyes leaked tears of mirth. This was too much, even better than she imagined. He'd called Sirius, which meant that her cousin was getting something to laugh about today and would be witness to her ingenuity.
Remus’ angry roar quickly derailed her mental self-praise though. “FIX IT! NOW!”
But Sirius was still laughing uncontrollably. His barking laughter in fact dissolved into gasps and high-pitched whines, and she knew he was probably lying across the table or leaning back in a chair, clutching at his sides, unable to breathe for laughing so hard.
“FIX IT! I mean it, Sirius!” continued Remus, angrily. “I’ll... I’ll.... You either fix this now or I’ll fix you!”
Sirius stopped laughing at once, and his voice was cold as he retorted. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Remus sounded mildly hysterical as he responded, “Really? I wouldn't? Remember I’m a dangerous beast.”
“No seriously, you wouldn’t dare," insisted Sirius, his voice still worryingly cold. "Since you’ve been on Wolfsbane you’ve been tamer than a bunny rabbit, you haven’t even howled in a while. Don’t make me give you a reason to.”
There was silence, where she imagined them glowering at each other and her delight began to succumb to a sweeping guilt, and then Sirius said, “Besides, I didn’t do it. If I wanted to turn you into different shades of interesting colours, I’d just lock you and my dear little cousin in a glass room and wait for the fireworks-”
What?
“-no, this seems the hallmarks of another. Have you considered the twins?”
Remus said nothing at first, but then began to splutter, “T-they’ve been gone too long, a-and this was just sitting there on the table.... It had to be someone else.”
“Hmm,” said Sirius. “Well there goes my list. I honestly can’t see anyone else in the Order attempting something like this. It’s so simple, amateurish really-”
Amateurish!
“-but effective.... Well... actually I can think of someone, but she-”
“She?”
“What, you’ve got something against girls-well this one’s a young woman, actually-pulling pranks?”
“No, but... young woman?” More silence, and then. “TONKS!”
With a triumphant yell, Tonks tumbled out of Kreacher’s cupboard, reverted to her normal size, and finally let free the laughter she’d been forced to hold in from the moment he’d come bounding down the stairs. Sirius joined her, throwing his head back with a yelled “HA-HA!” and the two filling the dreary kitchen, and house, with more life than it had seen in centuries.
Remus though, stood glowering down at them, and the glimpses Tonks managed between bubbly peals revealed him to be becoming increasingly annoyed. Having bright pink hair though, seriously undermined the effect.
And then he was standing over her. And before she could react he was pulling her to her feet, gruffly. She stopped laughing to protest this, but then found herself being lifted and draped over his shoulder. And when she recovered from the shock as he settled her over his shoulder, and she realised what he was doing, she yelled, “Hey! Hey, what are you doing? Put me down!”
Sirius abruptly stopped laughing as well, as Remus began to walk towards the stairs with Tonks still up on his shoulder, but instead of coming to her aid just sat staring at them. Tonks thumped her fists on Remus' back as hard as she could, not at all liking the way he was treating her, and though he was a friend, would not stand for, but when that didn’t work, looked over to her cousin and said, “Help me! Don’t just sit there!”
But her cousin just smiled at her and replied, “I’m afraid there's nothing that I can do, cos.”
“What?” she asked shocked.
Sirius lazily put his feet up on the table and began to pick at his nails. “Well... you see, he’s a werewolf... and unfortunately your prank, dyeing his hair colour to match yours, to a werewolf, may be interpreted as a readiness to mate. In fact, as an indication that you've selected him as your mate.”
“What?” she exclaimed, now horrified.
Remus said nothing, nor gave any indication that Sirius’ claim was news to him. Tonks began pounding her fists against his back harder, but he merely adjusted her position on his shoulder and began to carry her up the stairs. Sirius casually continued, “I’m afraid the only thing you can do now is just... well, to put it mildly, lie back and brace yourself. It’s been a while, he might get a little... over zealous.”
She was shrieking now. “Put me down! Put me down! I don’t want to mate! I didn’t mean to do it! I just wanted to stop you calling me Nymphadora all the time, and treating me like some little girl who needs to be taken care of! But you know what? You know something; you could call me Nymphadora all you want. Or 'Nympha', an old roommate of mine used to do that during training. Or, or, or even 'Dora', like my Dad does, you can do-call me whatever you want, I don't care, just put me down and I’ll fix your hair! I’m really sorry, really, really sorry! Just put me down and we can pretend this never happened!”
They were already halfway up the stairs to the third floor, and Remus suddenly stopped and dropped her onto her feet. She immediately backed away from him into the wall, and stared back at him warily. Then he smiled, brightly, and asked, “Well?”
“‘Well’ what?” she asked, nervously. In the periphery of her vision she saw Sirius emerge from the kitchen and stand in the middle of the hall, staring up at them.
“Well... Dora, aren’t you going to fix my hair?” he asked, hands on his hips, still smiling at her.
She at once drew her wand and with two deft flicks and a barely audible incantation, his hair was back to its usual brown and grey. Then she grinned, encouragingly, and asked, “Am I free to go? Are we just going to pretend this didn’t happen so there’s no awkwardness later on? Friends?”
He threw back his head and laughed as loudly and heartily as Sirius had done in the kitchen. For a moment she was intensely worried that nothing had changed. Then, as time passed, her worry became fear that he’d lost his mind. And at last, when Sirius joined in, she realised that she’d been duped.
Her jaw dropped, as did her hands which had been protectively folded over her chest. He’d got her. He’d turned about her prank and used it against her. The bastard. Granted she’d known all along that he had been every bit as involved in the mischief at Hogwarts with Sirius, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, she hadn’t really seen it displayed until now. And she’d been genuinely concerned that he was about to take her and.... The sodding twat!
She closed her mouth, stepped away from the wall and not attempting to conceal her anger, said, “That was not funny.”
He chuckled. “From where I’m standing it certainly is.”
“No, it wasn’t,” she insisted, glaring.
Even Sirius fell silent below, looking at her changed demeanour. Remus’ brow furrowed in confusion, and he asked, “What’s the-”
She cut him off, furious. “I like to claim that you are my friend, Remus Lupin, but I can’t pretend that I know everything about you! I don’t know what it’s like to be a werewolf, I know what it is to be a friend of one, and I’m not ashamed or afraid of that, but I don’t know that much about that side of you that only comes out on the full moon. I’m not Sirius, I can become anyone I want but I can’t become an animal so I can spend the night with you and Sirius and find out. And I want to know what it's like for you, because you are my friend and I don’t want to offend you unintentionally. I don’t want you to think that I’m bigoted and childish and stupid, because I say or do something that makes me look just like all those other bastards who make your life miserable! I want to get to know you, all of you, and you doing this... it’s not funny! Here I am thinking I’ve really gone and done something that affects you and it’s a bloody lark? It’s not funny, Remus!”
She was breathing heavily now, shuddering with rage and seriously going over a list of undeniably childish but absolutely gratifying hexes and jinxes in her mind, glaring up at him. And to his credit, he did look faintly embarrassed, but still he smiled when he said, “But you see, Nymphadora, it is....”
She could not believe this man; did he have a death wish he was hoping she’d grant? She raised her wand arm, but he reached forward and encircled her fingers round her wand with his own and explained. “If I don’t laugh at the things that people think about someone like me, I’ll go mad. I learned that a long time ago. I need at to laugh at my situation sometimes, or it will destroy me. I know that this seems madder than anything to you and others like you, who want to be my friend and are filled with righteous outrage at my-”
“-it’s not righteous outrage, I’m genuinely-”
“-situation, but that’s the way it is to me. Getting angry every time I’m offended just plays into the hands of those who loathe people like me and have the power to do something about it. And besides, laughter is a much better solution... it puts your friends at ease, and drives your enemies to distraction.”
He said this last part so softly it was barely above a whisper. Sirius could be seen straining against the bottom of the staircase, mouth slightly open, trying to hear.
It effectively killed her first angry retort and she was forced into silence while in her mind repeatedly came up with and discarded numerous different responses. She was still angry, but she wanted him to understand where she was coming from. She didn't want to let him get away with anything, but she needed to placate him, to reassure him that she understood what he meant. And then he broke through these musings to finish, “If you wanted to know what it’s like for me being a werewolf in a society that’s rightly prejudiced against them, all you have to do is ask.”
“It’s not right, Remus. And how could I ask? You’re the most closed off person I’ve ever met,” she replied.
He smiled ruefully, then said, “Well that’s about to change. Anything you want to ask me about being a werewolf, you can.”
She considered this for a moment, thinking at the same time that somehow she was not coming out of this situation with the upper hand after all the hard work she’d poured into the prank, and then offered him her brightest smile. When he smiled back, seemingly lighting himself from within and banishing the premature lines on his face, she changed her mind. He’d probably take her anxious offers to heart and call her every name she’d suggested, or his old favourite, Nymphadora, still, but she would have his smile and that was more than worth it.
Bugger, he’d got her again.
Author:
princesstopaz
Format & Word Count: Fic, 2772
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: 15- Picture of rolled up parchment tied with a bow.
Warning: Sexual references, humour, romance is a bit mild.
Summary: Tired of Remus' insistence on calling her 'Nymphadora', Tonks takes revenge... to unexpected consequences.
Author's Note: I also claim partial inspiration from an icon, the owner of which I can't recall and apologise to. Also, I wanted this to be short, sweet, funny and then the gits got serious on me. *sigh* No, literally, not him.... Though if he looks like Gary Oldman, I've got no complaints.
“Sirius, have you seen Nymphadora?”
“Why do you keep calling her that? You know she hates it.”
“It’s her name. Now have you seen her?”
“Why do you want to know?”
Tonks took this as the cue to lay her trap, and at once set the roll of parchment signed "For Remus" on the table, barely sparing a moment to straighten its bow, (and then pick it up again after she knocked it over hurrying away) before shrinking herself and dashing into the relative safety of Kreacher’s cupboard to watch Remus walk into it.
“No, I haven’t seen my brightly coloured little cousin; she must be out on duty.”
“I thought she was off tonight, for both work and the Order?”
She supposed she should feel guilty about this. After all, Remus Lupin generally had precious little to smile about nowadays, stuck at Grimmauld Place babysitting Sirius, who knew and did not appreciate it, being perennially unemployed, by Ministry mandate, and as a result, broke. Being a werewolf just added to the hell, just a simple trip out to restock the pantry could become another great humiliating moment in his life. His missions for the Order could only take place at odd hours of the day or night, when the chances of someone recognising him and subsequently thwarting or compromising the mission were significantly reduced. And of course, there was no hiding his pain and frustration whenever they received reports from the children of the latest atrocity committed by Dolores Umbridge, self-appointed Hogwarts High Inquisitor, incompetent teacher and bane of those considered magical creatures everywhere.
He never made a big fuss about this, of course, as usual taking everything life dolled out to him with a civil smile and grace she was secretly grateful and envious that she would never possess.
“Well go look, if you’re so anxious to see her, you lovesick cub, you.”
“I’m not... what did you call me?”
She also supposed she should be worried about doing this. Remus Lupin, resident werewolf of the Order of the Phoenix’s headquarters at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, and former ‘best Defence Against the Dark Arts’ teacher to grace the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for years, was also Remus Lupin, Messr Moony, former Marauder and one-fourth of the infamous hell-raisers of Hogwarts. If anything went wrong and he came to the conclusion that it was she and not Sirius who pulled this prank... well, reports of his days as a Marauder were legendary among the kids. And though he emphatically denied most of it, she did not want to think of what he could do to her.
But it was too late to change anything now. He’d called her “Nymphadora” one too many times, and had absolutely no good reason to, like being a former teacher or a superior. He had developed an annoying habit in recent weeks to acting overly gallant around her, opening doors and pulling out chairs, pouring her tea... as if she couldn't do it herself, and pretending that every iota of rough treatment she got at work wounded him personally. The way he sometimes tended to the bruises she got.... She knew she was clumsy and she had a rough job, being an Auror wasn't baking cookies and hosting dinner parties! If she could help it, he was going to stop that, damn it!
“Nymphadora...?”
His footsteps were like dull thuds on the ancient wooden stairs, he sneezed as he entered at the kitchen at build-up of the latest layer of most noble cobwebs, and after a moment of silence, took the bait.
“What’s this?”
Tonks could barely contain her excitement. She was going to get him. Fred and George Weasley weren’t the only ones who could be inventive with magic. He would open the parchment and it would explode like a Muggle bank dye pack and coat his hair pink. She'd charmed it so that only his hair would be dyed though, so while his head and beard would look like he'd fallen into a cotton candy machine, the rest of him would be practically spotless. If he caught her she didn't want to think of the trouble she'd have convincing him to let her buy him new clothes.
And as she'd arranged, there was suddenly a loud “poof!” It was quickly followed by the tinkling of fairy dust falling through his hair, hands and fingers to the table top and the ground below, and then the glorious sound of his shout of horror and rage. “What the...? SIRIUS!”
Tonks had to bite down on her lips and clamp her hands over her mouth to stop herself from bursting into loud laughter. She could just see him standing there with pink hair, and with the grey like gold highlights... she was shaking so badly she feared she would fall over and expose her hiding place.
More thuds on the stairs, faster now, and Sirius’ voice calling down, “What’s the matter... Moony!” There was another moment of silence, and then Sirius' barking laugh boomed through the kitchen. Tonks desperately stuffed her fist into her mouth as her eyes leaked tears of mirth. This was too much, even better than she imagined. He'd called Sirius, which meant that her cousin was getting something to laugh about today and would be witness to her ingenuity.
Remus’ angry roar quickly derailed her mental self-praise though. “FIX IT! NOW!”
But Sirius was still laughing uncontrollably. His barking laughter in fact dissolved into gasps and high-pitched whines, and she knew he was probably lying across the table or leaning back in a chair, clutching at his sides, unable to breathe for laughing so hard.
“FIX IT! I mean it, Sirius!” continued Remus, angrily. “I’ll... I’ll.... You either fix this now or I’ll fix you!”
Sirius stopped laughing at once, and his voice was cold as he retorted. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Remus sounded mildly hysterical as he responded, “Really? I wouldn't? Remember I’m a dangerous beast.”
“No seriously, you wouldn’t dare," insisted Sirius, his voice still worryingly cold. "Since you’ve been on Wolfsbane you’ve been tamer than a bunny rabbit, you haven’t even howled in a while. Don’t make me give you a reason to.”
There was silence, where she imagined them glowering at each other and her delight began to succumb to a sweeping guilt, and then Sirius said, “Besides, I didn’t do it. If I wanted to turn you into different shades of interesting colours, I’d just lock you and my dear little cousin in a glass room and wait for the fireworks-”
What?
“-no, this seems the hallmarks of another. Have you considered the twins?”
Remus said nothing at first, but then began to splutter, “T-they’ve been gone too long, a-and this was just sitting there on the table.... It had to be someone else.”
“Hmm,” said Sirius. “Well there goes my list. I honestly can’t see anyone else in the Order attempting something like this. It’s so simple, amateurish really-”
Amateurish!
“-but effective.... Well... actually I can think of someone, but she-”
“She?”
“What, you’ve got something against girls-well this one’s a young woman, actually-pulling pranks?”
“No, but... young woman?” More silence, and then. “TONKS!”
With a triumphant yell, Tonks tumbled out of Kreacher’s cupboard, reverted to her normal size, and finally let free the laughter she’d been forced to hold in from the moment he’d come bounding down the stairs. Sirius joined her, throwing his head back with a yelled “HA-HA!” and the two filling the dreary kitchen, and house, with more life than it had seen in centuries.
Remus though, stood glowering down at them, and the glimpses Tonks managed between bubbly peals revealed him to be becoming increasingly annoyed. Having bright pink hair though, seriously undermined the effect.
And then he was standing over her. And before she could react he was pulling her to her feet, gruffly. She stopped laughing to protest this, but then found herself being lifted and draped over his shoulder. And when she recovered from the shock as he settled her over his shoulder, and she realised what he was doing, she yelled, “Hey! Hey, what are you doing? Put me down!”
Sirius abruptly stopped laughing as well, as Remus began to walk towards the stairs with Tonks still up on his shoulder, but instead of coming to her aid just sat staring at them. Tonks thumped her fists on Remus' back as hard as she could, not at all liking the way he was treating her, and though he was a friend, would not stand for, but when that didn’t work, looked over to her cousin and said, “Help me! Don’t just sit there!”
But her cousin just smiled at her and replied, “I’m afraid there's nothing that I can do, cos.”
“What?” she asked shocked.
Sirius lazily put his feet up on the table and began to pick at his nails. “Well... you see, he’s a werewolf... and unfortunately your prank, dyeing his hair colour to match yours, to a werewolf, may be interpreted as a readiness to mate. In fact, as an indication that you've selected him as your mate.”
“What?” she exclaimed, now horrified.
Remus said nothing, nor gave any indication that Sirius’ claim was news to him. Tonks began pounding her fists against his back harder, but he merely adjusted her position on his shoulder and began to carry her up the stairs. Sirius casually continued, “I’m afraid the only thing you can do now is just... well, to put it mildly, lie back and brace yourself. It’s been a while, he might get a little... over zealous.”
She was shrieking now. “Put me down! Put me down! I don’t want to mate! I didn’t mean to do it! I just wanted to stop you calling me Nymphadora all the time, and treating me like some little girl who needs to be taken care of! But you know what? You know something; you could call me Nymphadora all you want. Or 'Nympha', an old roommate of mine used to do that during training. Or, or, or even 'Dora', like my Dad does, you can do-call me whatever you want, I don't care, just put me down and I’ll fix your hair! I’m really sorry, really, really sorry! Just put me down and we can pretend this never happened!”
They were already halfway up the stairs to the third floor, and Remus suddenly stopped and dropped her onto her feet. She immediately backed away from him into the wall, and stared back at him warily. Then he smiled, brightly, and asked, “Well?”
“‘Well’ what?” she asked, nervously. In the periphery of her vision she saw Sirius emerge from the kitchen and stand in the middle of the hall, staring up at them.
“Well... Dora, aren’t you going to fix my hair?” he asked, hands on his hips, still smiling at her.
She at once drew her wand and with two deft flicks and a barely audible incantation, his hair was back to its usual brown and grey. Then she grinned, encouragingly, and asked, “Am I free to go? Are we just going to pretend this didn’t happen so there’s no awkwardness later on? Friends?”
He threw back his head and laughed as loudly and heartily as Sirius had done in the kitchen. For a moment she was intensely worried that nothing had changed. Then, as time passed, her worry became fear that he’d lost his mind. And at last, when Sirius joined in, she realised that she’d been duped.
Her jaw dropped, as did her hands which had been protectively folded over her chest. He’d got her. He’d turned about her prank and used it against her. The bastard. Granted she’d known all along that he had been every bit as involved in the mischief at Hogwarts with Sirius, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, she hadn’t really seen it displayed until now. And she’d been genuinely concerned that he was about to take her and.... The sodding twat!
She closed her mouth, stepped away from the wall and not attempting to conceal her anger, said, “That was not funny.”
He chuckled. “From where I’m standing it certainly is.”
“No, it wasn’t,” she insisted, glaring.
Even Sirius fell silent below, looking at her changed demeanour. Remus’ brow furrowed in confusion, and he asked, “What’s the-”
She cut him off, furious. “I like to claim that you are my friend, Remus Lupin, but I can’t pretend that I know everything about you! I don’t know what it’s like to be a werewolf, I know what it is to be a friend of one, and I’m not ashamed or afraid of that, but I don’t know that much about that side of you that only comes out on the full moon. I’m not Sirius, I can become anyone I want but I can’t become an animal so I can spend the night with you and Sirius and find out. And I want to know what it's like for you, because you are my friend and I don’t want to offend you unintentionally. I don’t want you to think that I’m bigoted and childish and stupid, because I say or do something that makes me look just like all those other bastards who make your life miserable! I want to get to know you, all of you, and you doing this... it’s not funny! Here I am thinking I’ve really gone and done something that affects you and it’s a bloody lark? It’s not funny, Remus!”
She was breathing heavily now, shuddering with rage and seriously going over a list of undeniably childish but absolutely gratifying hexes and jinxes in her mind, glaring up at him. And to his credit, he did look faintly embarrassed, but still he smiled when he said, “But you see, Nymphadora, it is....”
She could not believe this man; did he have a death wish he was hoping she’d grant? She raised her wand arm, but he reached forward and encircled her fingers round her wand with his own and explained. “If I don’t laugh at the things that people think about someone like me, I’ll go mad. I learned that a long time ago. I need at to laugh at my situation sometimes, or it will destroy me. I know that this seems madder than anything to you and others like you, who want to be my friend and are filled with righteous outrage at my-”
“-it’s not righteous outrage, I’m genuinely-”
“-situation, but that’s the way it is to me. Getting angry every time I’m offended just plays into the hands of those who loathe people like me and have the power to do something about it. And besides, laughter is a much better solution... it puts your friends at ease, and drives your enemies to distraction.”
He said this last part so softly it was barely above a whisper. Sirius could be seen straining against the bottom of the staircase, mouth slightly open, trying to hear.
It effectively killed her first angry retort and she was forced into silence while in her mind repeatedly came up with and discarded numerous different responses. She was still angry, but she wanted him to understand where she was coming from. She didn't want to let him get away with anything, but she needed to placate him, to reassure him that she understood what he meant. And then he broke through these musings to finish, “If you wanted to know what it’s like for me being a werewolf in a society that’s rightly prejudiced against them, all you have to do is ask.”
“It’s not right, Remus. And how could I ask? You’re the most closed off person I’ve ever met,” she replied.
He smiled ruefully, then said, “Well that’s about to change. Anything you want to ask me about being a werewolf, you can.”
She considered this for a moment, thinking at the same time that somehow she was not coming out of this situation with the upper hand after all the hard work she’d poured into the prank, and then offered him her brightest smile. When he smiled back, seemingly lighting himself from within and banishing the premature lines on his face, she changed her mind. He’d probably take her anxious offers to heart and call her every name she’d suggested, or his old favourite, Nymphadora, still, but she would have his smile and that was more than worth it.
Bugger, he’d got her again.