(Untitled)

[mercutio_rane]

Title: “Inundate”
Author: mercutio_rane
Format and Word Count: Drabble, 94 words
Rating: G
Prompt: 3, buoyant
Warning: poetic wax everywhere! Argh!
Summary: Remus breaks out the quill and writes a little free verse love letter.

Comments

[freakinwinky]

Beautiful and very...for lack of a better word...lupinesque! I love your use of vocabulary here and the way the words flow perfectly into one another. Makes me wish I could write poetry. Good job!

[mercutio_rane]

Thank you! :)

[iamweebles]

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh man have I missed your writing at these things! "You are my entropy..... Enraptured. Encapsulated." How do you think to string these words together so perfectly?

One little thing - is there an extra "my" between "my soul" and "finally buoyant"?

Welcome back :-)

[mercutio_rane]

Woops! Most definitely! Thanks for mentioning that. *running to change it*

[daylightsparks]

This is very nice, and I'm glad you're back.

One nitpick: "entropy" (deterioration into disorder and inertia) may not be the word you're looking for. At least, it doesn't seem like a very complimentary or loving thing to say to someone...

[mercutio_rane]

Naw, it was the word I wanted. It sort of went with the idea that his life had been static, and then she came in a disrupted that, threw everything out of the order that he tried to make for himself. And he fought it to no avail and finally accepted it. Gee....this response was longer than the drabble! LOL! :)

[annabtg]

The idea is good, although the result is a little too heavy for my liking.

I like the first three verses the most :)

And for all the days I’ve in prodigal misery

Is there a word missing after "I've"?

Good to see you back to the ficathon, btw :)

See ya,
Anna.

[mercutio_rane]

Yes, a typo in a drabble. Actually, two! I wrote it right on the page, just typed it way too fast. But it's fixed now! :) I'll do better from now on.

[emoonstone]

This is beautiful, you do string together words so eloquently. This seems like the sort of thing Remus would come out with if he sat down to write. I think it has been pointed out about the only little mistake but other than that perfect poetic wax!

[mercutio_rane]

Thank you! Typos in a drabble...How embarassing! Last night was crazy when I wrote this.