Prompt #17

[mrstater]

Title: Cross Words
Author: MrsTater
Format/Word Count: fic, 1150
Rating: PG
Prompt: #17, almost
Summary: "I live vicariously these days."
Author's Note: Sequel to Suspension of Disbelief and Progress. First attempt at Sirius' POV, and I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Concrit appreciated.

Comments

[drumher]

I thought your Sirus POV was very good. He was playful, not totally pissed and seemed to be handling his "house arrest" well. The dialogue provided a nice blend of flirtation and angst and the ending was perfect. You just know that Remus is going to put himself through some serious mental-flogging once he gains the privacy of his room. Poor guy...

[mrstater]

I'm glad Sirius seemed relatively stable here: it's early after moving into 12 Grimmauld, so he won't be totally depressed yet, and matchmaking for an old friend has got to be a rather happy thing for him. Thanks very much for your feedback.

[gijane7702]

Nice job with Sirius :)

You're correct. He didn't go really 'unstable' 'til about Christmas time. He would have been happy(er) til then with Order meetings, trying to get Tonks and Lupin together, and stuff. Poor man, he traded one prison for another.

~C

[mrstater]

Poor man, he traded one prison for another.

He really did; he was so damaged from Azkaban that it would have taken something drastically different to change what he went through mentally and emotionally after OotP. Though I do wonder if he still would have managed to be pretty depressed regardless.

Thanks for your feedback. I'm glad you liked this.

[freakinwinky]

I agree that Sirius was very well done here. I think I'm becoming rather as fond of this series as your Transfigured hearts one. It's a bit frustraiting (what with Lupins hero complex bit), but that's what makes it so fun to read, and increadibly it fits very well within the books. Good job!

[mrstater]

Aw, thanks very much!! I'm liking this mini-series, too, and am almost thinking of it as a prelude to Transfigured Hearts.

[purebristles]

I really like this. The back-and-forth banter between all three of them is very in-character, and it's non-angsty.

I'm not sure if "mimic" is the best word to use there though. Mimic suggests that Sirius is imitating someone, possibly Remus. Is that what you were going for?

[mrstater]

Absolutely I was going for that -- he was mimicking Remus' formal "one can win..." speech. It's uncharacteristically formal for Sirius. :)

Thanks, I'm glad you like it!

[anonymous]

I really enjoyed this; there's a nice sense of frustration and annoyance from all three characters. And Yay! for Remus realising Sirius would eavesdrop (the amount of conversations between R/T that get over-heard in fics and they never realise. They should sell tickets!;)), which in part explains his reluctance to ask her out though, of course, it also gives him the excuse he's looking for to chicken out...

The Sirius POV works really well - he is indeed living vicariously, and though his motives are mostly good I liked it when he admitted he'd been deprived of 'all' his entertainment. He knows how serious something like this is for Remus, but that's how he views it (reminiscent of the prank on Snape?) And I liked 'Dogging him...' LOL.

Looking forward to the next installment of this. :)

Gilpin

I think I spotted a typo - 'Rain check?'

[mrstater]

Do y'all use the phrase "rain check" in the UK? I've just displayed my ignorance there -- I thought cheque was y'all's (look how Texan I am!) spelling of check. Brit Pick, please!

I'm so pleased the frustration and annoyance came through. One of my fanfic pet peeves is Tonks never getting irritated with Sirius. Sirius is a very irritating person, IMO, and I don't think Tonks is above finding him obnoxious.

And yes, I was completely going for the perception which enabled Sirius to not think about how the Snape prank would affect Remus. So glad that came through. (LOL, I just couldn't resist "dogging him.")

Thanks so much for your feedback! I was really nervous about the ambivalence in this piece.

[anonymous]

Howdy!

We all use 'rain check' here, honey, so don't you go worryin'!

Er..shutting up now before you throw something in disgust, but I hope you visualised that in a Sawyer accent. ;)

The ambivalence made it really interesting. One found it very enjoyable! :)

Gilpin

[mrstater]

I won't throw anything since I didn't have to hear anyone butchering a drawl. Hehe

[gloryforever]

"If you would like," Remus tries for the third time, "you could owl me your report, and I would be happy to proofread it."

Damn, Remus! If you are not going to ask the girl out, you might as well have kept your mouth shut altogether.

The other day you said something to me about wandering off the beaten path and I think it holds true in this story too. Of all the matchmaker!Sirius fics I've read, this is the first time that it actually backfires on him. Good job.

[mrstater]

Well I'm glad to have done something original. Personally, I don't think Sirius would be a terribly successfull matchmaker; I think it would just rub Remus the wrong way, being such an independent sort. :)

And yes, Remus should not have said anything. Poor dork.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[gloryforever]

See, that's something I hadn't considered but it makes a lot of sense. If Sirius tried to reach out to Tonks, she would be likely not to listen to him because she'd think his loyalties might lie more with Remus than with her. Remus is bound not to listen either, basically because of his history of disregard for anyone's feelings except probably James's.

[mrstater]

Interesting point you raise about Tonks: fanon often treats Tonks and Sirius as though they were very close. She'd never met him before joining the Order, and it certainly seems like she bonded with Remus much more than she bonded with Sirius; she and Sirius don't even exchange dialogue in the book. I think Remus and Tonks would value Molly's intervention above Sirius'.

I love that this has inspired discussion. I'm such a geek. :)