Comments | rt_challenge: Prompt #5

mrstater in rt_challenge

Prompt #5

Apr 05, 2006 05:39

Title: Suspension of Disbelief
Author: MrsTater
Format/Word Count: ficlet, 729
Rating: PG
Prompt: #5, "I had a dream and you were in it / the blue of your eyes was infinite / You seem to be in love with me / Which isn't very realistic... / You may set your charm on stun / and say I'm delightful and fun / but you say that to everyone. / Well, I don't ( Read more... )

mrstater, prompt 5

Comments 26

godricgal April 5 2006, 14:25:41 UTC

*shakes head* Poor, silly, clueless Remus!
I got really involved in that, cheering on the sidelines waving my 'Go Lupin' flag!
'Don't give me false hope.'- the line is heart wrenching.
I hope you continue this with another prompt. I'd love to see you write the moment he realises that Sirius is telling him the truth.

mrstater April 5 2006, 14:28:45 UTC

Oh, thank you for your feedback! I wasn't sure how I felt about this one, because I've not really written pre-romance R/T before, and this is a much different kind of pessimsim I've written for Remus. I hadn't thought about continuing, but perhaps I shall in a future prompt. It would be a neat contrast of emotions, wouldn't it?

Again, I really appreciate your comment!

freakinwinky April 5 2006, 15:34:25 UTC

Oh for heaven sake Lupin! This made me very frustrated for some reason, which probably means that you got the emotions spot on! I agree that a sequel is most definately in order, right now it's a bit like a chord that hasn't resolved. Great work!

mrstater April 5 2006, 15:36:17 UTC

right now it's a bit like a chord that hasn't resolved

And that gives me a boost of confidence about the title.

I'm so pleased this worked for you -- Lupin IS very frustrating. :)

Now I've definitely got to consider a sequel.

anonymous April 5 2006, 16:34:57 UTC

I think you should have a sub-title - 'Suspension Of Sirius Smacking Remus Around The Head!' It did fit the prompt extremely well, and Remus...really makes you grit your teeth and want Tonks to shove him into a doorway. (Hope you don't mind if I combine your stories for a brief moment;))

So, yes, it begs for Part Two: Remus gets a smack and Tonks and Sirius go out on a date. Er..did I say that?! :)

Emma

mrstater April 5 2006, 16:39:37 UTC

The date with Sirius is what happens when Harry eavesdrops.

I'm glad you thought this fit the prompt (better than yesterday's with my lame incorporation of the word "cards", hehe), because this one gave me such a hard time I very nearly skipped it.

Remus really does need Tonks to shove him against the door and snog him senseless. But would he get the point even then?

dwlikeebeinlost April 5 2006, 16:50:24 UTC

Remus Lupin, is probably the worlds only deaf, blind and dumb WEREWOLF!!!

mrstater April 5 2006, 18:27:51 UTC

Probably. ;)

purebristles April 5 2006, 17:28:30 UTC

Woah... Tonks angry at Lupin? Use another prompt to write a sequel - this is a promising beginning!

mrstater April 5 2006, 18:28:55 UTC

Well, that's just what he, in his very male and very self-deprecating mind, can come up with. I'll try to write a sequel if a prompt inspires it. Thanks for your feedback!