In a Chik-Fil-A somewhere outside of St. Louis.
"Why are we just finding out about this now??" says a Dave, waving the offending piece of paper in the air. "We're the goddamn Conspiracy! Why don't we have people taking care of this stuff?"
"Yeah, don't we have an Extraordinary Threats thingy too?" says another Dave.
"No, we have a Vague Threats Committee," replies yet another Dave. "They're the guys who send out those press releases saying 'We're onto you.'"
"Oh, right."
"Still, he's got a point," says a fourth Dave. "Assuming this letter is legitimate--"
"It is. I checked."
"--then this 'Ministry of Extraordinary Threats' has been operating for more than a century without any Dave presence whatsoever. This is a grave oversight, people. We need to get an agent in there ASAP."
The fifth man at the table, who also happens to be named Dave, puts down his sandwich and speaks up. "I hate to change the subject, but doesn't the whole 'unspeakable horrors from outside of reality' thing kinda take precedence over that?"
The other four Daves turn to stare at him.
Dave #3 shakes his head sadly. "You have no sense of priorities, man."
"Yeah, don't we have an Extraordinary Threats thingy too?" says another Dave.
"No, we have a Vague Threats Committee," replies yet another Dave. "They're the guys who send out those press releases saying 'We're onto you.'"
"Oh, right."
"Still, he's got a point," says a fourth Dave. "Assuming this letter is legitimate--"
"It is. I checked."
"--then this 'Ministry of Extraordinary Threats' has been operating for more than a century without any Dave presence whatsoever. This is a grave oversight, people. We need to get an agent in there ASAP."
The fifth man at the table, who also happens to be named Dave, puts down his sandwich and speaks up. "I hate to change the subject, but doesn't the whole 'unspeakable horrors from outside of reality' thing kinda take precedence over that?"
The other four Daves turn to stare at him.
Dave #3 shakes his head sadly. "You have no sense of priorities, man."