A Cost For A Cause - Chapter 17
Title: A Cost For A Cause
Pairing: Yekyu
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Drama, Romance
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: I don't own them, SME does. Plot is mine.
Summary: Kyuhyun wants to understand Yesung - he wants to know what it feels like to lose everything.
When Kyuhyun awakes the next morning, blanketed by the comforters in his own bed, he feels full and gratified. There's something about the way Yesung held him, the way Yesung spoke to him with such sincerity, such immense passion, that made everything he's done so far worth it - that made him feel as if he were on top of the world.
He remembers the events, each replaying like screen-shots of a film, and he feels a pinching in his chest - his own heart racing against his rib cages.
Say my name, Kyuhyun thought as he pushed Yesung deeper into himself. Yesung had both his hands on either side of Kyuhyun's waist, grunting as Kyuhyun tightened around him. “Hyung,” he whimpered, perspiration staining his forehead and chest, “say my name.”
“Kyuhyun,” Yesung obeys, groans as Kyuhyun quickens his movements, navigating himself up and down hastily.
The younger boy holds himself up with his own hands on Yesung's shoulders.
“Kyuhyun,” Yesung repeats, and his voice is gruff, needy.
Yesung doesn't stop calling out his name throughout the night.
After sliding out of bed, taking a shower, and changing into a fresh set of clothes, Kyuhyun realizes that Yesung had never - not once in the entire process - told him he loved him.
It relieved Kyuhyun; it relieved the boy to know that Yesung wasn't one to say something rash like that under the influence of sexual tension, but it also worried him. Did Yesung not love him?
They repositioned themselves on the couch, Yesung was afraid of over-working Kyuhyun. The boy was now on all fours, Yesung propped behind him. “Won't you regret this?” Yesung asks.
“Only if you do something to make me regret it,” Kyuhyun says, gasping when he feels Yesung entering him again. All the muscles in his body tense and Yesung moans rather loudly against his spine.
“And what would that be?” Yesung huffs as he picks up his pace.
Kyuhyun cries out, clutching the couch in his fists. “Being dishonest; lying to me,” Kyuhyun manages to reply.
“Never,” Yesung whispers, “I would never.”
I've never wanted to, anyways, Yesung thinks solemnly to himself.
“Do you have any idea what you're doing?” Henry asks him over the line.
Kyuhyun blinks up at the ceiling, counting the creases and curves of the painted walls. “Yeah, I know,” he says apologetically, “I'm really sorry, Henry. Tell Zhoumi I'm sorry, too. I'm... I'm really sorry.”
“You don't have to do this,” Henry states, “no one has to know about Yesung, no one has to know about your relationship.”
“But I want them to,” Kyuhyun furrows his brows, “I want to walk in the streets with him hand in hand, I want to be able to do anything and everything with him every step of the way. I don't want to hide him, Henry, I don't want him to just be a secret that I know - excluding a selected few that we both trust.”
Henry sighs. “It would only be for a few years - you know, until we stop being popular.”
“That's too long,” Kyuhyun shakes his head, “way too long.”
Kyuhyun is laying on the couch, facing Yesung - who is hovering over him and staring into his eyes. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” Yesung says.
“That would be nice,” Kyuhyun agrees.
Then Yesung shifts his eyes away as they work their rhythm - their beat - again. “I love how we always tend to want what we can't have,” Yesung laughs bitterly. Kyuhyun replies with exotic noises and Yesung pretends that Kyuhyun agrees with him, as always.
Kyuhyun is sure Yesung doesn't mean it the way he interpreted it, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Yesung wants him - really wants him - for forever.
He walks to the kitchen and pours himself a cup of milk, heating it up and consuming it slowly. It is warm, like Yesung's embrace. It is soft, like Yesung's touch. It does not burn him, it does not hurt him. Kyuhyun takes another sip and smiles - not the kind of smile where his lips shine but his eyes do not. He smiles a genuine smile and thinks, even if he loses everything now, he is happy.
Kyuhyun wants to know the feeling of losing everything.
-
Yesung is sitting in a bar with his friends; Heechul and Leeteuk seem to have finally broken their awkwardness now that both are standing on the same page with Sungmin and Kangin has taken a liking to Hankyung's profound view on life and romance. Siwon is flipping through pages of a New York entertainment magazine when a certain article catches his attention.
“HEADLINE NEWS: Marcus Cho, commonly known as Cho Kyuhyun in his homeland, has finally been discovered on the streets of Seoul, Korea. His management company, as well as band mates and close friends, have been out on the search for him ever since two seasons ago, but to no avail. The popular America-based Asian boy-band has evidently nursed high fame not only in the United States, but in foreign countries as well, as our source of his discovery was brought to public by a local citizen of the Seoul city.
The bad news? Zhou Mi, fellow group-mate and top notch pianist, announces Marcus' decision to leave the band and drop all of their group activities, along with showbiz, once and for all.
An official reason has not been stated by Marcus, who still refuses to face the media, but Zhou Mi jokes that “the Korean's have this 'five-year-curse of the boy-bands' idea, it must be taking its toll on us.”
It may not be as much of a joke as it may seem, after all.”
Siwon blinks several times, focusing and refocusing on the photo of Kyuhyun in the corner of the page, before he lifts his line of sight to meet with Yesung's. “Hyung,” he says, jaw dropped slightly, “have you seen this?”
“What?” Yesung asks, scooting closer to look over Siwon at the magazine. His eyes widen, quite dramatically, before he stands and excuses himself.
Heechul raises a brow in questioning. “What's wrong with him?”
Siwon furrows his brows and hands the magazine over. Hankyung grabs at it but Heechul snatches it away with a silent hiss.
“Oh,” Heechul says nonchalantly, pushing the magazine away from himself.
Hankyung rolls his eyes. “If you weren't going to care about it, you could have let someone who does read it first,” Hankyung says.
“Oh, shut up,” Heechul sighs.
Leeteuk, Kangin and Siwon are confused, so Hankyung starts to explain everything to them. Halfway through his explanation, Heechul takes over.
It was a long, long night.
-
Yesung rushes past the door and slams it shut, throwing his keys in the general direction of the coffee table beside the couches. Just as he reaches the hallway, Kyuhyun steps out of his room to greet him. “Welcome home,” he smiles warmly, “you're early today.”
“I saw the news,” Yesung says with a frown, “what's the meaning of this?”
Kyuhyun pauses, his door half open. “What news?”
“You know what I'm talking about,” Yesung accuses, “don't act dumb.”
The younger boy pushes past Yesung and walks to the kitchen. “I'm just tired of being in the spotlight,” Kyuhyun shrugs, “no big deal. I would have quit sooner or later-”
“Why sooner than later, then?” Yesung asks. “It's not because of me, is it?”
Kyuhyun faces him. “Yes, it's because of you.”
There wasn't any point in lying anymore, Kyuhyun knew lying would do him no good.
“Why?” Yesung scoffs. “I never told you to leave showbiz. I never told you to do anything for me. Why are you being so stupid? That's your dream, your future. Why give up your future for me?”
“I could have a future right here, with you,” Kyuhyun replies simply. “It doesn't matter anymore. I spoke with the company and my members; no one has objected. I only have another year or so with my company under the contract, it's not an amount I can't afford to pay off. The band can continue without me, they can find another vocalist.”
“And you? What will you do?” Yesung questions.
What Yesung truly wants to know is why Kyuhyun so stubbornly wants to be with him, to live for him. Yesung wants to know why Kyuhyun can be so foolish for love, so submissive to the fate he must follow in order to love Yesung. Why him?
“I'll find a job - I can hold vocal lessons, or teach courses on piano and violin. Maybe I can pick up my studies and become a doctor like you,” Kyuhyun shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe I'll be better off than before.”
It's hard to hear Kyuhyun finish his predictions for his future, so, Yesung lures him in and kisses him - effectively silencing Kyuhyun's words. Kyuhyun threads his fingers into Yesung's hair and returns the kiss - hard and greedy. Yesung knows Kyuhyun is fighting off stress, dispersing his frustration into this kiss.
Yesung doesn't ask any more questions. He allows their bodies to do the communicating for the rest of the evening.
-
Heesook is truly a gorgeous woman. Her hair flows long to her waist, raven black and silky. Her skin is pale, creamy and soft with a tint of red just at the apple of her cheeks. She's petite; short but curvy. Yesung admires her beauty and finds it hard to breath the first time they meet in the hospital corridor, Heechul smirking at him knowingly.
“Sungmin's alright, isn't he?” She asks, her fingers running over her stomach that is starting to show under her thin layer of clothing.
Yesung chokes while trying to find the words to say.
“He will be fine,” Heechul replies for him, “we'll make sure of it.”
Heesook releases a breath, her eyes lowering to the ground. It was evident she had been holding her breath the entire time she was waiting for a reply. “I'm sorry,” she apologizes as she shakes her head, “Sungmin... he hasn't told me much about the two of you. He's mentioned Yesung oppa, many times, but he doesn't really say much. I only know about Sungjin and how... how horrible his death was.”
“He told you Sungjin was still alive, didn't he?” Heechul asked.
The fragile wife nodded. “I believed him until... until that day.”
The boys nodded understandingly.
Yesung sighed. “Reports have shown that Sungmin is indeed showing symptoms of the same disease - this disease has still not been given a name because of it's rarity - that Sungjin suffered from but technology and remedies have been generated over the years to treat it,” he explains, “if, and I mean if, we cannot cure him entirely, we'll at least be able to stall his health until a cure comes around.”
Heesook looked up at Yesung and smiled weakly. “Sungmin has always admired you,” she said, “every time he spoke about you, he would be so happy.”
“We are close,” Yesung averted his gaze from her, “we've known each other for a long time. Sungmin... he's like,” and here Yesung pauses, unsure of how he should analyze their relationship, “Sungmin is like a little brother to me; no, more, he's almost like the blood in my veins.”
Heechul squeezes Yesung on the forearm. Yesung nods.
“I see,” Heesook smiles, “that's great. Then I can definitely count on you to keep Sungmin alive and we-”
“Hyung!”
Yesung turns in the direction of the voice, spotting Kyuhyun jogging towards them. Kyuhyun glances at Heesook briefly, greets Heechul, and walks beside Yesung.
“What are you doing here?” Yesung asks.
Kyuhyun pouts. “Visiting? Luna told me I'd find you here.”
“A friend?” Heesook asks timidly.
Yesung peers over at Heesook, curiosity glinting in her round eyes, and laughs a little. He doesn't know where the laugh came from, but he laughs all the same. “This is Kyuhyun,” he introduces. “Kyuhyun, this is Heesook.”
“Sungmin's wife!” Kyuhyun exclaims.
Heesook chuckles. “Am I famous?” Then she pauses. “Wait, speaking of famous... you look oddly familiar.”
“You're imagining things,” Kyuhyun replies playfully. “Surely, this is the first time I've seen you.”
“Perhaps,” Heesook muses.
Kyuhyun turns to Yesung. “Wait, what's Heesook doing here? Is the baby alright?”
“The baby's fine,” Heechul replies. “It's Sungmin.”
“Sungmin?” Kyuhyun furrows his brow. “What's wrong with Sungmin?”
Heechul faces Yesung, a particular scolding look in his eyes. “You haven't told him?”
“I haven't found the right timing,” Yesung bites his bottom lip. “It's been so hectic lately.”
The eldest rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and starting down the hall. “I am not staying around for a lovers quarrel. I'll be examining results and anticipating newer updates on Sungmin's condition in your office if you need me.”
“Lovers quarrel?” Heesook mutters to herself. Then she glances up at the two. “Oh! You two are-” but she stops herself, blushing mildly at the realization.
“Yeah,” Yesung smiles shyly but then glances over at Kyuhyun, “well, no... I am - I mean, we are like that. Most of us, anyways. Siwon is probably the only straight one in our crew. ”
Heesook blinks.
“And Sungmin, of course that one's obvious,” Yesung adds, a bit too flusteredly.
Kyuhyun shakes his head lightly. “What's wrong with Sungmin?”
“He's ill,” Heesook replies, “he's at risk for a disease that killed his brother.”
It's notable how Heesook's shoulders fall with every word she forces herself to say and Kyuhyun doesn't know how to respond - how to comfort her. He doesn't find the time to be an appropriate one for him to start an argument with Yesung, though. “Sungmin hyung will be fine,” he settles on saying, squeezing her shoulder soothingly, “Yesung hyung is an amazing doctor and surgeon, he's capable of saving Sungmin. I'm sure.”
“Thank you,” Heesook smiles. “Sungmin has such great friends. I don't understand why he hasn't introduced any of us before.”
Yesung licks his dry lips. “We don't either,” he lies.
He finds it easier and easier to produce lies throughout their acquaintance and he's sure it's a terrible, terrible thing. It is only confirmed by the accusing looks Kyuhyun gives him throughout the rest of the afternoon. Yesung feels terrible, but he can't help it.
This is a debt he must repay - he has to do it for Sungmin.
It's all he can do now. There's nothing else Yesung can do to save Sungmin at the moment, this is all he can do. This is all he can afford; lies and nothing else.
This is reality, he thinks.
The small pager on the belt of Yesung's waist rings. "Dr. Kim, we need you in the ICU infirmary a-s-a-p. There has been a change in condition for a patient by the surname Lee."
"I'll be right there," Yesung replies at the click of the receiver.
“Is it Sungmin?!” Heesook asks.
Yesung does not reply. He simply throws Kyuhyun a signaling glance and Kyuhyun nods, wrapping his arms around her weak shoulders. Heesook breaks into tears. Yesung grits his teeth, forcing himself to turn away, sprinting towards the ICU.
Heechul is already waiting for him. “We can do this,” Heechul says determinedly, “we can do it.”
“Yes,” Yesung replies, his voice shaky and unconvincing. “We have to.”
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Chapter 16 | Chapter 18
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A/N: Wow. It's been forever since my last update on AFCAC... So sorry! Deciding what to do with Sungmin gave me the biggest writers block... I'm actually still wondering what to do with Sungmin... *sigh* I'm really striving for the next chapter to be the last one. I'm pretty sure it will be. As always, please excuse the mistakes within the chapter... I haven't been getting sufficient sleep lately and, no surprise, write on mere winklings of sleep. >.> Hope his chapter wasn't too boring... I personally hate it. I wish someone could finish this story for me.. ;A;
Anyhow. Thanks for reading!