[003/ILC] Changes in Process
Title: Changes in Process
IL/Pairing Assigner: kendayawind & shadowcrawler12
Rating: G
Genre: AU/Angst(ish)/Romance
Length: One-Shot
Pairing: Henhae
Challenge: Initial Line Challenge
Disclaimer: I have no authority or possession over any of the artists used in this fiction. Their names are merely borrowed and this fic, in no way, represents them in real life. The plot belongs to me.
Summary: He's broken, shattered, like the plate scattered all over the kitchen floor. He needs to make some changes, quick, before the events can't be turned around anymore.
He watched as the plates smashed onto the floor, each piece reflecting his drenched self as he forced himself to repress the memories, clutching his face as he forbid them from resurfacing again before it tore him apart once more.
The sound of the water pouring from the faucet beside him rung loud in his ears; the droplets of water trailing down his neck chilled him to the core. No, it was more than just the running water that made even his blood run cold.
Slowly, he pulled himself to his feet, twisting the knobs of the faucet off. The silence instilled him, almost overwhelming him, as he raked his fingers through his soaked hair. He tried to move, very subtly, but his feet wouldn't give in.
There was nothing he could do but stand there, staring out the window over the sink, as the memories replayed themselves like everything occurred only yesterday.
There was a stinging in his eyes. Unsure of whether or not he should pay it any attention, or if he even had the strength to, he merely ignored the stinging that accumulated over time. Eventually, it grew hard for him to keep them open.
Before he knew it, he was leaning over the counter of the sink and coughing into his hands roughly, each cough constricting his lungs so hard it felt as if they were being ripped apart.
Why was this so hard? Why was it so hard to forget? Why was it so hard to forgive?
Why was it so hard to get him back?
Those questions were, as usual, left unanswered in his mind. The more he wanted to avoid the questions, the more they settled into his head. The questions deprived him of his hunger, dried his thirst, and emptied all of his desires until he didn't know if there was really anything left in this world that he could live on.
He was choking on his breath and he was choking on oxygen, which was the most important factor in staying alive. Even this, this essential necessity, was killing him. The world truly was going against him, he thought to himself.
“Donghae?” He suddenly heard a concerned voice call out to him, “What are you doing?”
He barely had the strength to lift his chin and take a good look at the face of his new company. “Suffocating,” Donghae replied weakly, pushing himself into an upright position, “You?”
“I heard you've been skipping work and was worried,” Sungmin replied, furrowing his brows. His glance dropped to the ground that was occupied by scattered plate pieces. “What have you done?”
“Dropped a plate,” Donghae barely shrugged. His eyes suddenly stung a hundred times worse than before, a lump clogging the air in his throat. “I-it hurts,” Donghae coughed, his hands squeezing his jeans tightly, “I-I c-can't breath.”
Sungmin immediately dropped everything to the ground and made his way to his friends side. “Did you hurt yourself? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”
Donghae shook his head. “I-I'm fine,” He insisted, brushing a stray tear from his cheek.
He felt his entire body grow heavy, useless, and soon his sight blacked out. When he woke up, unaware of how long later, he was laying in a hospital bed with an IV attached to his arm. He blinked once, twice, and by the third time his brain finally processed what had happened and where he was.
There was an familiar presence standing by the window, looking out into the night view of the city. Donghae's breath dimmed; he almost forgot to breath again when he, without a doubt, recognized the person standing nearby.
The figure shifted his gaze to Donghae's reflection, catching said man staring at him with somewhat hopeful eyes.
That was the last thing he needed: for Donghae to have anymore hope.
“I heard you were dumb enough to get hospitalized,” Henry sighed, turning around to face the older man. “I wasn't heartless enough to not even visit. We are- I mean, were friends before, after all.”
“We're not friends anymore?” Donghae asked, the chords of his voice straining with every word.
Henry stuffed his hands into his pockets, peering towards the exit. “There's no point in being friends,” He shrugged, “We're over.”
“Can't we talk-”
“No,” Henry interjected abruptly, afraid to let Donghae finish his sentence. “There's nothing to talk about. I said it's over, so, it's over. That's all there is to it.”
Donghae was too weak to argue further; he was so deprived of energy that it became a burden to even think for a second longer. Life with Henry was hard, but life without Henry became unbearable. Why couldn't Henry understand that?
Somehow, Donghae was used to watching Henry turn his back on him. Despite the fact that Henry was younger, less mature, and much less considerate compared to Donghae, it was clear who held the true power over this relationship.
If Henry said walk, Donghae would walk.
If Henry said sit, Donghae would sit.
When would Donghae learn that he couldn't continue on like this? Maybe now was his chance.
“You can't just come and go as you please,” Donghae mumbled, leaning his head back against the back of the bed with his eyes closed, “I'm tired, Henry. I can't deal with your push and pull games.”
Henry breathed steadily, his eyes lacking in emotion. “I already told you we've broken up. I'm not playing you along anymore.”
Suddenly, Donghae was reminded of the broken shards of plates on his kitchen floor. “We've broken up numerous times before,” Donghae scoffed, “Each time you would piece us back together, like a broken plate.”
“I'm not making up with you again; besides, no matter how hard you try to piece them back together there are still cracks,” Henry replied in monotone, "there are only so many times you can keep breaking the same plate. This time, it's really over.”
Donghae opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. “Just because you say it is?”
“Yes,” Henry bit his bottom lip, so hard it was nearly bleeding.
“Who died and let you make the choices around here?” Donghae asked sarcastically, using every last bit of strength left in his body to force a smile. “I'm tired of your games, Henry. Let's not play games anymore, alright?”
The moment of silence weighed Donghae down lower than any form of gravity could. He was waiting for an answer, he wanted an answer, he needed the answer from Henry so badly he could feel it creeping on the the tips of his finger.
Henry didn't reply, he merely took a deep breath and headed towards the door. Donghae anticipated Henry to turn around, he expected Henry to face him and nod with his trademark mochi smile before running into his arms and hugging him tight, like he always did after a fight. But Henry didn't. For whatever reason, Henry was determined this time.
Well, Donghae wasn't going to wait for Henry to come back to him. This time around, he was going to take the initiative.
“I'm not going to let your childishness ruin our relationship,” Donghae whispered into Henry's ear. Henry froze in his steps, feeling the warmth of Donghae's arms wrapped around his neck from behind. “I'm not going to let you go anymore. My love for you suffices over your own selfishness; I'm not giving in to your antics anymore.”
Henry parted his lips to counter Donghae's accusations, but no words formed on his tongue. He swallowed his thoughts, along with his pride, as he turned around and allowed Donghae to engulf him in his arms. “All I ever do is hurt you, hyung,” Henry whimpered in Donghae's embrace, “I don't want to keep hurting you.”
The stamina that Donghae had been lacking finally returned. He felt as if he had been recharged, every soft weep from the younger man refueling his vitality. “It's okay,” Donghae smiled, a grin that spread from ear to ear, “I just need you to be with me.”
“I don't like being so possessive, so obsessive, over every one you see and everything you do,” Henry admitted, burying his head into Donghae's chest, “I don't want to be like that.”
Donghae chuckled, “I like that about you.”
“Y-you do?” Henry stuttered, looking up into Donghae's eyes.
Donghae nodded. “Everything about you, every little thing, is good for me.”
“Good for you?” Henry laughed, “How?”
“Don't you know?” Donghae asked, his eyes widened in mock surprise, “Life with you is hard, Henry, but life without you... it's not life, it's hell. No, it's worse than hell; it's living in a house with no food to eat and no Henry to snuggle.”
Henry punched Donghae on his collar bone lightly, throwing Donghae a few steps back. “Stop speaking nonsense,” Henry rolled his eyes. He noticed how Donghae stumbled over his feet and caught sight of the IV needle hanging over the side of the bed. “Oh gosh, get back in that bed! I'll get the nurse for you!”
“It's okay,” Donghae insisted, “I feel fine. No, I feel great.”
“I already told you to get in bed, now get in bed!” Henry scowled.
As always, Donghae obeyed. “Just so you know, I'm doing this of my own free will and not because you told me to.”
“Whatever you say,” Henry laughed, shaking his head lightly.
Donghae frowned. “I'm serious.”
“Okay, okay,” Henry coaxed, “Just stay in bed. I'll be right back.”
Donghae nodded and settled himself in the warmth of the blankets. Maybe this hospital visit wasn't so bad in the end, Donghae chuckled to himself, he's made several changes and, despite his lack of health, he managed to get Henry back.
Henry returned with a nurse beside him that immediately started scolding Donghae for being so careless. After the nurse left, Henry crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the end of the bed. “Just so you know, I'm still the man of this relationship.”
“You were never-”
“I said,” Henry stressed again, lifting one brow over the other, “I'm the man of this relationship.”
Donghae laughed in surrender, nodding his head weakly. “Fine, fine, you're the man of this relationship.”
Henry smiled victoriously, revealing that mochi grin that Donghae had missed to much. “Good.”
Donghae sighed inwardly, sliding deeper into his bed.
Then again, maybe not too much has changed after all.
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A/N: Check out kendayawind 's challenge of the same couple here
♥Happy Valentine's Day! Looking forward to Henry and Donghae, as well as the rest of SJM, in their upcoming comeback!! :)