Melodramatic Snippets That Will Never Be Fic (Danny and Claude, Tyler Seguin, Mostly Gen)
So sometimes I write melodramatic snippets that (a) are ridiculous/unbelievable, (b) get jossed, and/or (c) I will never turn into fic. A collection of those seems like a good post for April Fool's Day, so here are five of them. You could read the first one as a pairing kind of story, but they're mostly gen. Also, the second, fourth, and fifth ones mention Claude's real-life girlfriend, so be forewarned if that's not your kind of thing.
Claude panicking
Note: There was a batch of Danny Briere trade rumors swirling a couple of weeks ago, plus a lot of continued speculation that the Flyers are likely to compliance buy out his contract over the summer, and I thought there needed to be fic about those things making Claude panic.
"So," Scott says, sliding onto the barstool next to Claude and pushing a beer his way, "I've been designated to talk to you."
Claude wraps his hand around the beer and asks, "About what?" before he sips from it.
"About how you're hell-bent on taking us to the playoffs on your own if that's what it takes."
Claude looks at him. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing?" He pats his shoulder where the C would be on his jersey. "C and all."
"No," Scott says. "Yes, but not like this. What's up with you?"
"I'm being the captain," Claude says. "It's my job to get us that far."
Scott gives him an unimpressed look and goes away, but he comes back when Claude's two beers deeper in and manages to cut Claude off from the girl he was talking to.
"What's it really about?" he asks like they never stopped talking about it.
"Winning the Cup," Claude says, and Scott goes away and leaves him alone.
At least, Scott leaves him alone for the rest of the evening. He shows up at Claude's place a few days later when Brayden is conveniently over at Luke's. Claude has his suspicions about that, but he lets Scott in anyway.
"I'm not actually letting you get away with that captain bullshit," Scott says conversationally when they're on either side of the ping pong table. "You can either tell me about it now, or you can live with me pestering you until the end of time."
Coming from anyone else that would be an idle threat, but Claude knows Scott will do it.
Claude bounces the ping pong ball against the table and then hits it across. "They're going to buy out Danny's contract."
Scott hits the ball back to him once, but misses it the second time. "What?"
"I mean, I don't know, but they were willing to trade him and he said no, and they have two buyouts so they might be willing to buy out his contract."
Scott hits the ball toward him, and they volley for a few seconds.
"If we win," Claude says, "they'll see he's worth the cap hit, and even if they don't at least he'll have a ring."
Scott lets the ball fly past him into the corner of the room and puts his paddle down. "You're doing this for Danny?"
"I'm doing this for myself and the guys and Philadelphia." Claude puts his paddle down too. "And Danny."
"Okay," Scott says. He goes to retrieve the ball, and apparently that's all they're going to say about it, but it's not all Scott's going to do about it, because he's right with Claude, one hundred percent, and they get the boys pumped up and Claude leads and harangues and scores as needed, beats Crosby at his own game, pushes and works and sweats and bleeds, and they make the finals.
They make the finals, and they win, on a beauty of a goal from Jake.
They jump on each other and hug and shake hands and Claude gets the Cup. He skates it around, holding it up for himself, for Philly, for everyone in Hearst who stood behind him, and then he gives it to Danny. It maybe should go to Jake next, or Bryz, but he gives it to Danny, and Danny takes it from him and skates to a renewed roar from the crowd, and gives it to Jake, and it goes around, everyone taking their turns, and then there are pictures and interviews and more pictures, and they let families down onto the ice, Claude's parents and Isabelle, Danny's boys who come and yell their delight at him as well as at Danny.
And then it's just them, just their team in the locker room, Cup and booze and smiles that aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
There aren't quiet moments, exactly, but there's one where Danny comes over to Claude and no one interrupts them, and Danny says, "Scott said you did this for me," in French like he can't handle English right now, and then he smiles even wider without waiting for Claude to respond and says, "Thank you."
*
Claude heartbroken
Note: Uh, this one is just pure melodrama.
Luke and Brayden are hanging around in the hallway, and Brayden steps away when Danny and Sean head toward them.
"Go talk to Luke for a minute," Brayden says to Sean, and Danny follows Brayden to the other side of the hallway. Brayden presses a key into Danny's hand. "I'm going home with Luke."
Danny hefts the key. "Schenner-"
Brayden looks around and leans in even closer. "Ryanne left," he says, just loud enough to be heard. "I don't think he's told anyone."
Danny closes his hand around the key. "Fuck."
"Pretty much." Brayden walks away and claps Sean on the shoulder on his way out with Luke.
"I'm taking you home," Danny tells Sean when they're in the car, "but I'm not staying. The boys should be asleep. I'll be back in time to take them to school, but can you make sure they're up on time?"
"Sure," Sean says.
Danny appreciates that he's helpful and doesn't ask questions. He drops Sean off, drives over to Cherry Hill, and lets himself into Claude's condo. It's quiet, but the lights are on, so Danny drapes his coat and suit jacket over the railing and goes through the condo to knock on Claude's bedroom door.
"Go away, Schenner," Claude calls.
"It's me."
Danny waits for a moment, and Claude opens the door. He looks terrible, eyes red-rimmed and tears still on his eyelashes.
Danny steps forward and puts his arms around Claude, and Claude just collapses into him. Danny doesn't know how long they stand there, but he doesn't say anything, just lets Claude shake and cling to him.
Claude lets go of him eventually, scrubbing his hands over his eyes as he turns away.
Danny goes out to the kitchen to give him a moment. He gets a couple of bottles of Gatorade from the fridge and rummages through the cabinets until he finds a bottle of something strong and a couple of shot glasses.
Claude's sitting slumped on the end of the bed, and Danny sits next to him. He puts the Gatorades on the floor, hands Claude one of the shot glasses, and pours them each a shot, then another when they've done those. He puts the bottle on the floor between their feet.
"This is going to sound very callous," Danny says, "but we can't afford for this to ruin your season."
Claude laughs bitterly and throws back his shot. "Same thing ruined one of yours."
"We had Carts and Richie then," Danny says. "You're our star. The rest of us can't pick up the slack if you can't manage it." He does his shot and puts the glass down on the floor. "I know," he says. "I know what this does to you. I will do what I can, but you can't let it ruin your season."
Claude pours himself two more shots and throws them back, then drinks down half of one of the bottles of Gatorade.
"Brayden's at Luke's," Danny says, "and Sean's getting the boys up in the morning." He puts his arm around Claude's shoulders. "I can stay until I have to go take them to school."
Claude leans into him while they finish off their bottles of Gatorade. Danny takes everything back to the kitchen and grabs a couple more bottles of Gatorade. He only drinks half of his, and lets Claude finish it off. Then he gets Claude to go to bed and strips down to his underwear and climbs in with him.
He lies there listening to Claude breathe until he's sure Claude is asleep.
*
Tyler Seguin, secret child
Note: Segs tweeted a picture of himself with a little girl with the caption, "My favorite person in the world". I'm pretty sure it's the same little girl from a previous picture, which made me want fic where she's his publicly unacknowledged child being raised by relatives.
John is at Tyler's place when it happens, because apparently that's what sports agents do on Tuesday afternoons in the summer, hang out with their clients and friends playing video games. That's all they're doing, usual Tuesday afternoon hang, and then John frowns at his phone and grabs the laptop they figured out how to hook up to the TV and makes them pause the video game and switch to the laptop so they can all see the Deadspin logo and the headline that says, "I Had Tyler Seguin's Love Child."
"What the fuck?" Jesse says.
They scroll down, picture of an unhappy, obviously pregnant teenage girl, quotes from her about being a pregnant teenager, bullshit note that Tyler was unable to be reached for comment (they never even tried; he would remember that).
"What the fuck?" John says.
Brownie knows him best, and he was in Plymouth, so he's the one who stares at Tyler rather than the screen.
Tyler scrambles for his phone. "Pick up, pick up," he chants under his breath, and he has to get up, has to move, steps over Marshall and paces until Carol says, "Hi, Tyler. I'm at work so I can't talk long."
"Ashley talked," Tyler says.
"What?"
"She talked. To fucking Deadspin."
Carol makes a questioning noise.
"It's this internet sports news-gossip thing, and Ashley talked to them. She can't do that. She signed the fucking- She can't do that."
There's typing and Carol breathes, "Jesus." There's a moment, and then she says, "It doesn't really sound like she wants her back."
"She can't. That was what it meant. Neither of us can ever- Fuck," Tyler swears. "You can't let Kaylee see it."
"She's five," Carol says, sounding levelheaded in the way that made her a good person to take Kaylee. "She doesn't have internet access."
Tyler does a lap around the dining room table. "It's going to be more than the internet. Something like this, it'll make the news." Across the room, John's phone keeps ringing. "People will talk about it. Fuck."
"Fuck," Carol says. "Okay, okay. I'm calling the lawyer. You call your agent and your parents."
"Yeah," Tyler says. "Yeah, okay." He hangs up and turns his phone off, and then turns to face John and the rest of them.
"What the fuck?" John says. "This is true?"
"I remember Ashley," Brownie says. "You went out with her until her parents sent her away to boarding school."
"Yeah," Tyler says, "except it wasn't boarding school. It was her grandparents', and they sent her because she was pregnant and they didn't want anyone to know."
*
Danny, Claude, vulnerability
Note: I'm working on a Danny/girl!Claude 5+1 story, and one of the ideas hanet sent me for it was, "Claude gets named captain, and only Danny ever, EVER sees vulnerability," and I kind of want that story about actual Claude. Like:
Danny stays home recovering and watches the Pens game on TV, and afterward Claude texts to ask if he can come over when they get in. Danny says yes, and he knows how long it takes to get to his house from a game in Pittsburgh, so he naps or finds something to do until they get back. Sean gets home first, and Danny tells him he played a good game, and they're talking about it a little when Claude gets there. Claude is all captainy with Sean and also tells him he played a good game. And then Sean goes upstairs to wind down from the game before he gets some sleep, and Danny and Claude sit down at the table, and all that captainy stuff drops away.
"You scored a goal," Danny says.
"It was messy. Lucky."
"It was a goal."
"We lost."
"In overtime. Crosby got the goal, but it could have just as easily been you."
And then Claude is still down on himself about how he's been playing, and Danny asks him if he thinks Danny's done being a useful player.
"No," Claude says. "Of course not. You're just in a slump. You'll be good."
Danny nods. "And so will you."
Claude puts his head down on the table, "I'm fucking this all up."
Danny puts his hand on top of Claude's head the way he would with one of his boys. "No, you're not. The guys all know you're new to being a captain. Don't worry about it so much. Just play your game. I'll keep helping with the rest."
They sit there for a while until Claude calms down a bit, and then Danny asks, "Do you want the couch?"
Claude says, "No, I should get home to Ryanne. Thanks, though."
Danny says, "Anytime," and hugs him before he leaves.
And then there would be a lot about Danny subtly stepping in to do some of the captainy things while Claude just works on his game.
*
Danny, Claude, concussion and advice
Note: This is kind of a variation on the previous story.
Aside from all the other ways it's a shitty experience, having a concussion is incredibly boring. Danny's all too glad to invite whoever knocks lightly on his door to come in.
"Hey." Claude pokes his head into the room.
"Hi," Danny says. "Come in."
Claude does, and quickly closes the door behind him against the brighter light of the hallway.
"You can sit," Danny says, gesturing to the edge of the bed.
Claude does, carefully, and then more certainly when it doesn't bother Danny.
"How are you?" Claude asks.
Danny see-saws his hand in the air. "Not good. Bored. Talk to me."
"About what?"
"Whatever."
Danny closes his eyes and listens to Claude talk about hockey, Ryanne, a movie he watched the other day, hockey again, slipping back and forth between English and French.
Claude stops after a while and asks, "Are you even listening?"
Danny says, "Ryanne's dog is cockblocking you and you're letting Kimmo take too many interviews," since those were the most relevant parts of Claude's monologue.
Claude sighs. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it."
"Set limits with the dog or you'll never get laid again. And take more interviews."
"I never know what to say."
"Yes, you do," Danny says. "You say we just need to keep playing, you say we're working on it, you say everyone's stepping up."
"They always want more than that."
"You don't have to give it to them. Just don't make any enemies about it." Danny pats Claude's thigh. "You'll be fine."
Claude panicking
Note: There was a batch of Danny Briere trade rumors swirling a couple of weeks ago, plus a lot of continued speculation that the Flyers are likely to compliance buy out his contract over the summer, and I thought there needed to be fic about those things making Claude panic.
"So," Scott says, sliding onto the barstool next to Claude and pushing a beer his way, "I've been designated to talk to you."
Claude wraps his hand around the beer and asks, "About what?" before he sips from it.
"About how you're hell-bent on taking us to the playoffs on your own if that's what it takes."
Claude looks at him. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing?" He pats his shoulder where the C would be on his jersey. "C and all."
"No," Scott says. "Yes, but not like this. What's up with you?"
"I'm being the captain," Claude says. "It's my job to get us that far."
Scott gives him an unimpressed look and goes away, but he comes back when Claude's two beers deeper in and manages to cut Claude off from the girl he was talking to.
"What's it really about?" he asks like they never stopped talking about it.
"Winning the Cup," Claude says, and Scott goes away and leaves him alone.
At least, Scott leaves him alone for the rest of the evening. He shows up at Claude's place a few days later when Brayden is conveniently over at Luke's. Claude has his suspicions about that, but he lets Scott in anyway.
"I'm not actually letting you get away with that captain bullshit," Scott says conversationally when they're on either side of the ping pong table. "You can either tell me about it now, or you can live with me pestering you until the end of time."
Coming from anyone else that would be an idle threat, but Claude knows Scott will do it.
Claude bounces the ping pong ball against the table and then hits it across. "They're going to buy out Danny's contract."
Scott hits the ball back to him once, but misses it the second time. "What?"
"I mean, I don't know, but they were willing to trade him and he said no, and they have two buyouts so they might be willing to buy out his contract."
Scott hits the ball toward him, and they volley for a few seconds.
"If we win," Claude says, "they'll see he's worth the cap hit, and even if they don't at least he'll have a ring."
Scott lets the ball fly past him into the corner of the room and puts his paddle down. "You're doing this for Danny?"
"I'm doing this for myself and the guys and Philadelphia." Claude puts his paddle down too. "And Danny."
"Okay," Scott says. He goes to retrieve the ball, and apparently that's all they're going to say about it, but it's not all Scott's going to do about it, because he's right with Claude, one hundred percent, and they get the boys pumped up and Claude leads and harangues and scores as needed, beats Crosby at his own game, pushes and works and sweats and bleeds, and they make the finals.
They make the finals, and they win, on a beauty of a goal from Jake.
They jump on each other and hug and shake hands and Claude gets the Cup. He skates it around, holding it up for himself, for Philly, for everyone in Hearst who stood behind him, and then he gives it to Danny. It maybe should go to Jake next, or Bryz, but he gives it to Danny, and Danny takes it from him and skates to a renewed roar from the crowd, and gives it to Jake, and it goes around, everyone taking their turns, and then there are pictures and interviews and more pictures, and they let families down onto the ice, Claude's parents and Isabelle, Danny's boys who come and yell their delight at him as well as at Danny.
And then it's just them, just their team in the locker room, Cup and booze and smiles that aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
There aren't quiet moments, exactly, but there's one where Danny comes over to Claude and no one interrupts them, and Danny says, "Scott said you did this for me," in French like he can't handle English right now, and then he smiles even wider without waiting for Claude to respond and says, "Thank you."
*
Claude heartbroken
Note: Uh, this one is just pure melodrama.
Luke and Brayden are hanging around in the hallway, and Brayden steps away when Danny and Sean head toward them.
"Go talk to Luke for a minute," Brayden says to Sean, and Danny follows Brayden to the other side of the hallway. Brayden presses a key into Danny's hand. "I'm going home with Luke."
Danny hefts the key. "Schenner-"
Brayden looks around and leans in even closer. "Ryanne left," he says, just loud enough to be heard. "I don't think he's told anyone."
Danny closes his hand around the key. "Fuck."
"Pretty much." Brayden walks away and claps Sean on the shoulder on his way out with Luke.
"I'm taking you home," Danny tells Sean when they're in the car, "but I'm not staying. The boys should be asleep. I'll be back in time to take them to school, but can you make sure they're up on time?"
"Sure," Sean says.
Danny appreciates that he's helpful and doesn't ask questions. He drops Sean off, drives over to Cherry Hill, and lets himself into Claude's condo. It's quiet, but the lights are on, so Danny drapes his coat and suit jacket over the railing and goes through the condo to knock on Claude's bedroom door.
"Go away, Schenner," Claude calls.
"It's me."
Danny waits for a moment, and Claude opens the door. He looks terrible, eyes red-rimmed and tears still on his eyelashes.
Danny steps forward and puts his arms around Claude, and Claude just collapses into him. Danny doesn't know how long they stand there, but he doesn't say anything, just lets Claude shake and cling to him.
Claude lets go of him eventually, scrubbing his hands over his eyes as he turns away.
Danny goes out to the kitchen to give him a moment. He gets a couple of bottles of Gatorade from the fridge and rummages through the cabinets until he finds a bottle of something strong and a couple of shot glasses.
Claude's sitting slumped on the end of the bed, and Danny sits next to him. He puts the Gatorades on the floor, hands Claude one of the shot glasses, and pours them each a shot, then another when they've done those. He puts the bottle on the floor between their feet.
"This is going to sound very callous," Danny says, "but we can't afford for this to ruin your season."
Claude laughs bitterly and throws back his shot. "Same thing ruined one of yours."
"We had Carts and Richie then," Danny says. "You're our star. The rest of us can't pick up the slack if you can't manage it." He does his shot and puts the glass down on the floor. "I know," he says. "I know what this does to you. I will do what I can, but you can't let it ruin your season."
Claude pours himself two more shots and throws them back, then drinks down half of one of the bottles of Gatorade.
"Brayden's at Luke's," Danny says, "and Sean's getting the boys up in the morning." He puts his arm around Claude's shoulders. "I can stay until I have to go take them to school."
Claude leans into him while they finish off their bottles of Gatorade. Danny takes everything back to the kitchen and grabs a couple more bottles of Gatorade. He only drinks half of his, and lets Claude finish it off. Then he gets Claude to go to bed and strips down to his underwear and climbs in with him.
He lies there listening to Claude breathe until he's sure Claude is asleep.
*
Tyler Seguin, secret child
Note: Segs tweeted a picture of himself with a little girl with the caption, "My favorite person in the world". I'm pretty sure it's the same little girl from a previous picture, which made me want fic where she's his publicly unacknowledged child being raised by relatives.
John is at Tyler's place when it happens, because apparently that's what sports agents do on Tuesday afternoons in the summer, hang out with their clients and friends playing video games. That's all they're doing, usual Tuesday afternoon hang, and then John frowns at his phone and grabs the laptop they figured out how to hook up to the TV and makes them pause the video game and switch to the laptop so they can all see the Deadspin logo and the headline that says, "I Had Tyler Seguin's Love Child."
"What the fuck?" Jesse says.
They scroll down, picture of an unhappy, obviously pregnant teenage girl, quotes from her about being a pregnant teenager, bullshit note that Tyler was unable to be reached for comment (they never even tried; he would remember that).
"What the fuck?" John says.
Brownie knows him best, and he was in Plymouth, so he's the one who stares at Tyler rather than the screen.
Tyler scrambles for his phone. "Pick up, pick up," he chants under his breath, and he has to get up, has to move, steps over Marshall and paces until Carol says, "Hi, Tyler. I'm at work so I can't talk long."
"Ashley talked," Tyler says.
"What?"
"She talked. To fucking Deadspin."
Carol makes a questioning noise.
"It's this internet sports news-gossip thing, and Ashley talked to them. She can't do that. She signed the fucking- She can't do that."
There's typing and Carol breathes, "Jesus." There's a moment, and then she says, "It doesn't really sound like she wants her back."
"She can't. That was what it meant. Neither of us can ever- Fuck," Tyler swears. "You can't let Kaylee see it."
"She's five," Carol says, sounding levelheaded in the way that made her a good person to take Kaylee. "She doesn't have internet access."
Tyler does a lap around the dining room table. "It's going to be more than the internet. Something like this, it'll make the news." Across the room, John's phone keeps ringing. "People will talk about it. Fuck."
"Fuck," Carol says. "Okay, okay. I'm calling the lawyer. You call your agent and your parents."
"Yeah," Tyler says. "Yeah, okay." He hangs up and turns his phone off, and then turns to face John and the rest of them.
"What the fuck?" John says. "This is true?"
"I remember Ashley," Brownie says. "You went out with her until her parents sent her away to boarding school."
"Yeah," Tyler says, "except it wasn't boarding school. It was her grandparents', and they sent her because she was pregnant and they didn't want anyone to know."
*
Danny, Claude, vulnerability
Note: I'm working on a Danny/girl!Claude 5+1 story, and one of the ideas hanet sent me for it was, "Claude gets named captain, and only Danny ever, EVER sees vulnerability," and I kind of want that story about actual Claude. Like:
Danny stays home recovering and watches the Pens game on TV, and afterward Claude texts to ask if he can come over when they get in. Danny says yes, and he knows how long it takes to get to his house from a game in Pittsburgh, so he naps or finds something to do until they get back. Sean gets home first, and Danny tells him he played a good game, and they're talking about it a little when Claude gets there. Claude is all captainy with Sean and also tells him he played a good game. And then Sean goes upstairs to wind down from the game before he gets some sleep, and Danny and Claude sit down at the table, and all that captainy stuff drops away.
"You scored a goal," Danny says.
"It was messy. Lucky."
"It was a goal."
"We lost."
"In overtime. Crosby got the goal, but it could have just as easily been you."
And then Claude is still down on himself about how he's been playing, and Danny asks him if he thinks Danny's done being a useful player.
"No," Claude says. "Of course not. You're just in a slump. You'll be good."
Danny nods. "And so will you."
Claude puts his head down on the table, "I'm fucking this all up."
Danny puts his hand on top of Claude's head the way he would with one of his boys. "No, you're not. The guys all know you're new to being a captain. Don't worry about it so much. Just play your game. I'll keep helping with the rest."
They sit there for a while until Claude calms down a bit, and then Danny asks, "Do you want the couch?"
Claude says, "No, I should get home to Ryanne. Thanks, though."
Danny says, "Anytime," and hugs him before he leaves.
And then there would be a lot about Danny subtly stepping in to do some of the captainy things while Claude just works on his game.
*
Danny, Claude, concussion and advice
Note: This is kind of a variation on the previous story.
Aside from all the other ways it's a shitty experience, having a concussion is incredibly boring. Danny's all too glad to invite whoever knocks lightly on his door to come in.
"Hey." Claude pokes his head into the room.
"Hi," Danny says. "Come in."
Claude does, and quickly closes the door behind him against the brighter light of the hallway.
"You can sit," Danny says, gesturing to the edge of the bed.
Claude does, carefully, and then more certainly when it doesn't bother Danny.
"How are you?" Claude asks.
Danny see-saws his hand in the air. "Not good. Bored. Talk to me."
"About what?"
"Whatever."
Danny closes his eyes and listens to Claude talk about hockey, Ryanne, a movie he watched the other day, hockey again, slipping back and forth between English and French.
Claude stops after a while and asks, "Are you even listening?"
Danny says, "Ryanne's dog is cockblocking you and you're letting Kimmo take too many interviews," since those were the most relevant parts of Claude's monologue.
Claude sighs. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it."
"Set limits with the dog or you'll never get laid again. And take more interviews."
"I never know what to say."
"Yes, you do," Danny says. "You say we just need to keep playing, you say we're working on it, you say everyone's stepping up."
"They always want more than that."
"You don't have to give it to them. Just don't make any enemies about it." Danny pats Claude's thigh. "You'll be fine."