Oh, this is so lovely. I really did think it was great. I loved the setting, in Cambridge, and the time period, and the total transfer of these characters into a non-magical situation while still retaining what makes them who they are. I felt so sorry for the boys. I loved your description of their kiss, all the desperation and longing and sadness. I loved the way you got James and Peter and Snape and everything in there, it was fabulous.
I'm a huge sucker for properly well-written AU pieces, particularly ones of a different era, and this just did it for me. I wish this was my gift! :D
Thank you very much! The setting and time period, despite my fondness for them, were a little out of my comfort zone, so I'm very pleased to hear they worked for you. Thanks again for all your lovely words, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! :)
You're very welcome! I just realised what the fic reminded me of. Like a sepia film of the time period, all your details. It just made me think of a hazy, lazy film, in brown tones, with the punting and the school and everything. I can't explain it very well but it was really evocative. :)
He allows himself to hope it is enough...brighty18December 23 2008, 20:07:28 UTC
Oh, my dear, this was brilliant! Truly brilliant!
You captured such a marvelous sense of the era and the feeling of... looming social disaster. And, yet, you also show their love to such a great degree. The Ellen Bass piece at the end was TRULY the perfect way to finish this, too.
I love how you kept the characters so true to canon: sports-obsessed James, clueless (bourgeois) Peter, brash yet passionate yet complicated Sirius, and shy, observant Remus. And it even worked down to the banter, like that brilliant exchange regarding Snape, etc.
And this was my favorite bit: Remus tenses. He can’t quite process the hard muscle of Sirius’ thighs against the backs of his legs or the lips suddenly at the nape of his neck, not understanding why Sirius is touching him like this, or what he did to deserve it. Even under the insistent pressure of Sirius’ warm, skilled hands, he lies motionless, mouth full of soft cotton and his hair still wet from the snow. The careful precision of Sirius’ movements is foreign and dangerously welcome and
( ... )
Re: He allows himself to hope it is enough...carmine_inkDecember 23 2008, 22:00:17 UTC
Aw, thank you so much!
I'm so pleased you liked it. Your feedback means a lot to me considering how much I respect your opinion. <3 I'm glad you mentioned the poem - I restarted the fic several times before settling on a final idea, but once I brought in the poem it really helped me to focus the story.
I also had a lot of trouble fixing up the passage you pointed out, so I'm thrilled to hear it was your favourite part. :D Thanks again!
Re: He allows himself to hope it is enough...brighty18December 24 2008, 00:17:57 UTC
Thanks!
I loved that passage because it really highlighted Remus' confusion, but, more importantly, the fact that his issues had less to do with not wanting it (or what people might think) than with feeling somehow undeserving. He's so darling!
This is a complex piece, but in that beautiful way where it's like looking into a different time and not being able to understand all of the nuances, but still getting the broad strokes. Like, impressionism :) I really loved the tone, especially, which is only highlighted by the poem at the end-- one of knowing life's imperfections and moving with them, not in spite of them or in opposition to them, but slowly, like the pace of the boat, which your careful timeline also brings out. Thank you!
Thank you for your thoughtful feedback! Impressionism - what an interesting way of looking at it! I think, without knowing it, that's exactly the kind of feel I was going for. I was trying to write about their relationship almost as if it was through the eyes of an onlooker who might not necessarily know all the details, but is still able to get a sense of what is going on. As I was telling my beta, I like to think that Remus' need for secrecy was so strong that he made it impossible for me to outrightly mention his epilepsy and resulting depression, let alone his feelings for Sirius.
Thanks so much for writing this, it's brilliant! I loved the setting (I live only an hour or two away from Cambridge) and how well executed the AU was. The characters were so recognisable from canon, right down to Sirius' childish feud with Snape.
My favourite bit was this: Remus also knows that they exist only in the periphery of the real world. It is all too clear they are confined to the gaps between the stories that matter, hidden between the words black and bold enough to make the headline news. He has spent years learning to walk between the lines, and therefore he doesn’t understand Sirius’ brash confidence and carefree smiles
I'm so glad you like it! Also, thank you for such an interesting and challenging prompt! I'm ridiculously relieved that you felt the characters were recognizable, as that was definitely my biggest concern. I admit to being rather worried about keeping Remus, well, Remus under everything he's going through.
The bit you mentioned was added on towards the end, inspiring the title. I'm thrilled to hear it worked for you, as I like to think it basically sums up a lot of what I'm trying to convey. :) Happy Holidays!
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I'm a huge sucker for properly well-written AU pieces, particularly ones of a different era, and this just did it for me. I wish this was my gift! :D
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You captured such a marvelous sense of the era and the feeling of... looming social disaster. And, yet, you also show their love to such a great degree. The Ellen Bass piece at the end was TRULY the perfect way to finish this, too.
I love how you kept the characters so true to canon: sports-obsessed James, clueless (bourgeois) Peter, brash yet passionate yet complicated Sirius, and shy, observant Remus. And it even worked down to the banter, like that brilliant exchange regarding Snape, etc.
And this was my favorite bit: Remus tenses. He can’t quite process the hard muscle of Sirius’ thighs against the backs of his legs or the lips suddenly at the nape of his neck, not understanding why Sirius is touching him like this, or what he did to deserve it. Even under the insistent pressure of Sirius’ warm, skilled hands, he lies motionless, mouth full of soft cotton and his hair still wet from the snow. The careful precision of Sirius’ movements is foreign and dangerously welcome and ( ... )
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I'm so pleased you liked it. Your feedback means a lot to me considering how much I respect your opinion. <3 I'm glad you mentioned the poem - I restarted the fic several times before settling on a final idea, but once I brought in the poem it really helped me to focus the story.
I also had a lot of trouble fixing up the passage you pointed out, so I'm thrilled to hear it was your favourite part. :D Thanks again!
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I loved that passage because it really highlighted Remus' confusion, but, more importantly, the fact that his issues had less to do with not wanting it (or what people might think) than with feeling somehow undeserving. He's so darling!
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I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)
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My favourite bit was this: Remus also knows that they exist only in the periphery of the real world. It is all too clear they are confined to the gaps between the stories that matter, hidden between the words black and bold enough to make the headline news. He has spent years learning to walk between the lines, and therefore he doesn’t understand Sirius’ brash confidence and carefree smiles
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The bit you mentioned was added on towards the end, inspiring the title. I'm thrilled to hear it worked for you, as I like to think it basically sums up a lot of what I'm trying to convey. :) Happy Holidays!
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