FIC and art:White Jumper for cackling_madly
Title: White jumper
Author/Artist: abyss-valkyrie
Recipient: cackling_madly
Rating:PG 13
Contents or warnings (highlight to view): *One swear word! *
Word count:~4500
Summary: Sixth Year and Sirius finally notices his feelings for Remus when he gets a white jumper.
Notes: First off, thanks a million times to shaggydogstail for the beta work without whom I would probably be looking back on this fic in two years and crying. :D Cackling_madly, I do hope you enjoy this rather fluffy get-together fic. I was pretty much convinced of doing a walking dead crossover but that was just too angst-filled and I couldn't do that during the holidays. I wanted to do an artsy looking ice skating piece but it just wouldn't happen. Hope you guys enjoy this.Definitely had to use references of skaters for one of the pictures and completely redid an old picture that just went with this fic!!!
It was the white jumper that had started it all. The same jumper that most boys would steer clear of in favour of black or something similarly masculine. But not Remus.
Not Remus, simply because his mother had sent it for him, wrapped in a shiny package mid-November, knitted with all her motherly love. Just looking at the thing made Sirius warm to the core and seeing Remus in it had warmed his face as if he had gulped down three bottles of butterbeer in one go.
That had been the first few times and when Sirius realised it was quite possible that all the times he had found himself looking at Remus might have something to do with more than a slight crush on his friend; friend being the keyword. At least he had managed to get his face under control.
Sometimes his mouth would dry up like a desert if Remus so much as leaned over his shoulder, which happened a lot actually. Other times he would be content sitting on the floor right in front of Remus, occasionally running fingers up his leg absentmindedly, with Remus doing the same with his hair.
The more he looked-stared, more like-at Remus in his white jumper the more he realised that Remus returned those looks. Did it mean something?
Sirius kept a mental tally and it went like:
Monday:
Transfiguration classroom: Remus looks pretty hot with his hair sticking up at the back, hopefully McG. won’t notice it-why’s he turning around?-was that a smile? Well, okay...
Potions classroom: Let’s touch Moony’s hand accidentally-oh! Why’d he knock off the beetle wings like that?
Dormitory: Will it be weird to kiss him goodnight-no, wait; friends don’t do that. Ah! Damn! He really looks the best when he’s smiling.
Tuesday:
Common room: The white jumper’s on, white socks, white quill in hand-white is really Moony’s colour, eh? Did he just wink? Nothing’s up, per se. Oh-uh-just admiring the view.
Wednesday:
Quidditch locker room: Great! Here comes sexy Moony in white. It’d be good of him to help me with my gear…kind of like a boyfriend? *blush* Thanks a lot for the help, Moons, I love you.
Friday:
DADA classroom: How about the size of werewolf’s knob, Professor? No, bad idea. Remus does have pretty big hands…hmmm…
Saturday:
Detention in the Owlery: I hate winter. Merlin’s balls! Moony’s letting me wear his jumper, bloody hell! *sniff sniff*
Sunday:
Dormitory: Moony? Remus? Did we just kiss…who the fuck wakes up at three in the night? Ahhh, it feels terribly…lonely.
So it went something like that, when Sirius wasn’t dreaming about his family and a family tree that he no longer had a place on.
“A bit too cold for watching the sunrise, isn’t it?”
Sirius opened his eyes, rimmed with darkness from sleep deprivation as Remus stood under the falling snow just outside the little area beneath the leafless tree in the grounds, overlooking the Great Lake he had charmed to repel all of Nature’s elements. “Look who’s an early riser today,” he teased lightly, dark thoughts of home fleeing in the presence of Remus in his white jumper.
“I couldn’t sleep.” Remus entered the charmed area and sighed at the warmth that descended over him. “Scoot over, puppy.”
“Be careful, Remus,” Sirius warned as he made space for Remus, “you should know better than to poke fun at the Grim.” Remus rolled his eyes at that.
“Of course, I should be the one scared, considering that I am a werewolf, in case you forgot.”
“No way I’d forget that, Moony,” Sirius returned with the beginning of his usual smile, “what with your rugged sexiness and all.”
“Yeah, so very sexy, all of this,” Remus said drily though Sirius fancied he could see the tips of his friend’s ears reddening. He looked closer and then, with that familiar excitement stirring in the pit of his stomach, reached out.
“Hey, Moony. Look.” Remus’s eyelids fluttered shut just as Sirius’ fingertips brushed lightly against his cheek and withdrew again. Sirius smiled as he motioned with his gaze to his right hand and Remus, seeming somewhat flustered for a second leaned in closer. He blinked as if to make sure that the microscopic thing between Sirius’ thumb and index finger was what he wanted Remus to see.
“It’s an eyelash.” Remus stated skeptically and looked up at Sirius beside him through his fringe. Sirius nodded, his smile turning softer than his usual exuberant expressions.
Sitting here under the frozen tree at five in the morning may have been considered as madness by any, sane person but where Sirius was concerned, sanity usually had no place. But then Remus himself couldn’t be any saner if he wanted to sit alone with Sirius, waiting to catch the first rays of the winter sun with an Impervius for the constant drops from icicles above.
Sirius’ poor excuse of ‘It’s bloody cold here, like a real-life ice-age or something’ when he had his thickest coat on could not make Remus leave. If Remus enjoyed giving him company while he battled insomnia, who was Sirius to get in the way of his fun?
“Yeah,” Sirius replied twirling the lash lightly still smiling before looking directly into Remus’s eyes with a bright look, “Think of a wish.”
“A wish?” Remus frowned lightly before glancing back and forth between Sirius and the eyelash between his fingers. Sirius nodded with a keen expression.
“Yeah, you know when you make a wish on an eyelash and blow, it comes true,” he replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world, making Remus raise an eyebrow.
“Since when do you believe in things like that?” he asked. Sirius gave him a lopsided smile.
“A little wishful thinking never hurt anybody, Moony,” Sirius told him and spared Remus a glance before reaching out for his hand, “Narcissa showed me this once; ages ago when she was still likeable.” Remus didn’t move, he didn’t even seem to breathe, as if frozen. Sirius kept his fingers busy, trying not to let that electrifying jolt he felt where their hands touched distract him as he folded the pale hand into a fist, and then placed the single eyelash on the back of it.
“Go on,” Sirius urged and Remus looked like he would roll his eyes but Sirius knew he would give in; a part of him always gave in to Sirius’ antics and would probably always do so. Hopefully. Remus closed his eyes.
*
“I’m supposed to wish and then blow it away?” Remus asked, feeling ridiculous talking to Sirius with his eyes shut.
“Yeah,” Sirius answered softly from beside him. Remus tried concentrating on his wish.
Did he want to become normal? Did he want to grow taller than Sirius? Did he want his dad to get his Ministry job back? Or a pair of boots like David Bowie’s or a suitcase full of chocolates-
‘I just really want to kiss Sirius.'
He heard the slight puff and felt Sirius’ breath against his hair, blowing the eyelash away before he could change his mind. He opened his eyes to find Sirius’ face close. Too close.
“What did you wish for?” Sirius whispered as if the moment was too precious and fragile to break with sound. He tilted his head to peer closely at Remus. “Moony?” Remus couldn’t help glancing at the pink lips barely centimetres away before catching Sirius’ gaze. Quickly, he looked away to see the frozen lake.
“Shoes,” Remus answered, his voice too loud in the bubble ensconcing them away from the waking world, “I want one of those white skating shoes, saw them on the telly last winter. Maybe I’ll ask dad for a pair next Christmas.” Not a complete lie, alright, since he did enjoy a slide across the ice. Sirius blinked and then shifted back as if he had just realised their proximity.
Or maybe he had detected Remus’ errant thoughts. Remus chalked it up to paranoia.
“Ice skating, Moony?” Sirius asked, quizzically and leaned his body forward as he crossed his legs and sat comfortably. The twittering of unseen birds had started. “Six years and you’ve never said a word of it to us. Are you any good at it?” His face had taken on an interested look and the quiet intimacy from minutes ago had vanished, so Remus decided to sit back and enjoy his company without thinking about the wish.
“Nothing impressive.” Remus shrugged and Sirius looked thoughtfully at the lake, ice shimmering in the morning sun.
“We should try it out sometime. Together, in the morning like this.” Sirius turned to grin at Remus, “So there’s nobody out to see you make a fool of yourself.” Remus returned the grin with a twinkle in his eyes.
“Aren’t you considerate today? I should probably bring Peter’s camera along just to have proof that Sirius Black fails at something spectacularly.”
Sirius faked a scowl, evident by the twitch of his lips. “Don’t have much faith in me, do you, Moony?” Remus laughed out then and then sobered up.
“Sirius, have you ever skated on ice before? It’s not very…‘Pure-blood’, is it?” Remus couldn’t help the irritated tone his voice took on whenever he was reminded of the approaching cataclysm of a possible war, all because of blood. Quite possibly, it felt more personal now since Sirius had practically been forced to leave by his very own Pure-blood parents.
“Moony.” Sirius bumped shoulders with Remus, immediately calming him down. “You forget who you’re talking to. For your information, I have skated with Prongs in Muggle London.” At that, Remus turned to look at Sirius fully.
“Yeah? That sounds promising then.” Remus peered at Sirius with a serious look. “So, no spectacular fails or falling on your arse? I was hoping to get a good photo of it all.”
“What? My arse?” Sirius asked with incredulity and Remus’ eyes widened as it caught him off-guard. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it and bumped Sirius’ shoulder somewhat hard with his bony one.
“Prat! You know what I mean.”
Sirius opened his mouth, probably tempted to see how far he could provoke Remus with his teasing. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll fall for you all you want. Happy now?”
“Yeah. Sure.” Remus hugged his knees as if to ward off the cold and refused to look at Sirius, he couldn’t; not when he knew he would definitely give in to his heart whispering ‘That was definitely Sirius flirting; he wants you too, he’s looking at you’. “Don’t worry about it; I’ll be there to catch you when you fall,” he told Sirius in a mad moment of honesty. He felt Sirius’ fingers tug at the front of his hair lightly and turned to meet Sirius’ gaze.
“I know you will. It’s a date then.” Sirius replied with that warm smile that could probably melt a snowman.
*
“I don’t get this sudden obsession with the ice skating thing.” James commented loudly as he hid away a copy of Hercule Poirot’s Christmas. under his pillow when Sirius entered their dormitory. Sirius looked around immediately and relaxed when he saw that Remus wasn’t in the room, before throwing a scowl at his best friend’s direction.
“Not so loud, wanker.” He bent to retrieve his transfigured skating shoes from under his bed. “I’ve a skating date with someone, okay?” That piqued James’ interest and he sat up.
“What?” he almost wrenched apart the curtain of his bed. “Who? When? How?” he asked in a single breath.
“Him or her?” Peter piped up from under Remus’ bed where he was trying to locate the hidden stash of Sugar Quills under James’ orders.
“Both. I’ll tell you later,” Sirius replied quickly and hurried out of the room seconds before Remus emerged from the bathroom, running a towel over his hair. Remus sniffed automatically.
“Was Padfoot here just now?” Remus asked James with a frown.
“Both?” James cried out loud, startling Remus and Peter who had already sat on his own bed as if he had never ventured under Remus’.
“What?” Remus asked as he dropped his towel at the foot of his bed and poured a glass of water.
“It’s Padfoot,” James explained in that way where he talked and analysed the situation simultaneously, “he’s been going skating on ice like how Muggles do it. Completely obsessed for some reason, he is.”
“Is he, now?” Remus looked surprise and gulped down the glass of water before composing himself. “Whatever for?”
“He has a date with a-” Peter started and then rubbed his chin, “-bloke or a bird-”
“Or both,” James finished.
“Both?” Remus asked in disbelief as if realising once again that there never were any straight answers with Sirius. “Sirius, you, and you too-” he said pointing at Peter who gestured ‘what?’ with his chubby hands, “-are absolutely mental.”
“Complete nutters,” Peter agreed with a nod.
“That does include you too, Moony, considering you are one of us,” James reminded Remus. He saw Remus turn away but not before he caught a glimpse of the smile making its way on his face. ‘Brilliant! He closed the curtains quickly and pulled out the book; either Alfred or Lydia had killed the old geezer and he just had to know why.
*
“Can you do that alex thing?” Sirius asked interestedly as he slid smoothly in an arc around the Room of Requirement.
“Axel, you mean,” Lily stated with a roll of her eyes, “I’m not a professional.”
“So, no,” Sirius answered easily as he jumped and landed hard on the charmed floor to the sound of ripping fabric.
“This is why I told you jeans are a very impractical choice when you’re ice skating,” Lily said matter-of-factly as she pointed her wand at Sirius’ knee. “Be glad that you didn’t break anything.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius dusted off the ice clinging to his trousers as the material joined over his knee. “Thanks, Evans. You know, you’re pretty handy to have around, I can see why James likes you.” While he had told Remus that he had skated, it hadn’t entirely been the truth. He had skated-somewhat, kind of- with those wheel-y shoes, if skated was the right word for something resembling a giraffe dancing on the streets. But then, Sirius wasn’t a dog for nothing; hounding Lily had been easy enough until she had given in. She was his saviour, alright.
“Did you just call me ‘handy’?” Lily asked, ignoring the rest of the sentence as she transfigured her shoes back to normal.
“Funny, that you focused on that bit,” Sirius told her while taking off his inline skates. “Did you know that James reads Agatha Christina?” Lily looked surprised, frowning at Sirius as they exited the room.
“It’s Agatha Christie and you assume that I like her just because I’m a Muggle-born?” At that Sirius grinned and pointed an index finger at her.
“Now, now, who said anything about you? I was just making conversation.” Sirius stuffed his hands in his pockets, feeling mighty good about himself. “Looks like you have something to think about if talking about James makes you all-” he gestured at her face, “-red like that.” Lily glared at him for good measure but remained silent until they reached the Fat Lady’s portrait.
“Does he really read mystery novels?” Lily asked curiously and Sirius hid a smile.
“A mystery? No wonder Prongs is so interested in Muggle fiction suddenly.” Sirius brushed his hair back with his fingers. “So, is it any good, that Hercules Christmas?-”
“Hercule Poirot’s Christmas,” Lily corrected quickly, as if unable to bear Sirius’ mix-up as they entered the common room. “Yes, if you’re into murder mysteries.”
“Ha! So you do read Agatha Christina,” Sirius exclaimed and Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a flush that covered her nose and cheeks.
“It’s Chris-you’re doing that on purpose.” Lily scowled as she realised what Sirius was doing. “Yes, but there’s really no need to look so smug about it; it’s not like I’m magically going to fall for him after all these years.” She crossed her arms over her chest. She tried hard, Sirius thought, but tiny people didn’t scare him. He shrugged.
“Your loss, to be honest, Evans. James is human, you know. He’s done fairly stupid things but he’s already growing up fast.” That scared him, how fast James was changing with the shifting atmosphere in the Wizarding World.
“Yeah, alright,” Lily replied though she looked to be considering something and then stepped away. “Good luck on your date.”
Tomorrow he would tell Remus everything.
*
If there was one thing that the boys in the Sixth Year dormitory didn’t want to face, it was Remus Lupin right after he had been woken up. Sirius, on the other hand, was completely alright with Remus’ slightly violent tendencies; he was a werewolf after all.
According to Peter, he was the only one brave enough to wake Remus up if needed so naturally Sirius would do just that.
It gave him an excuse to move away Remus’ sleep tousled hair from his eyes and grab him all over to ensure that he did not fall on the way to the bathroom but would generally get roughly pushed away if he tried interrupting Remus’ shower. Let it not be said that Sirius Black never tried hard.
“Do you know what time it is?”
“Five forty two, to be exact,” Sirius replied without a pause. He nudged Remus awake only to be rewarded with a kick to his shin which Sirius had a sudden urge to return. “Come on, I have a surprise for you.”
“Unless it’s a soft, duck feather pillow on your bed, go away,” Remus managed to sound out of patience even while whispering. Sirius couldn’t help smiling at the honest words and patted Remus’ thigh.
“I’ll take you to my bed, but not now. I have something much better.” He pulled out the pair of white ice skates he had managed to order with a lot of help from Lily. Bless her for knowing all about Muggle money and exchange rates. At the sight of the new shoes, Remus blinked awake.
“Sirius, are those what I think they are?” He stared as Sirius wordlessly handed them to him. Remus felt the leather, caressed the smooth side of the blade and touched it in ways that had Sirius envying the pair of shoes a little. Just a bit.
“Alright,” Sirius said loudly. He took the shoes from Remus’ hands and placed them on the bed. “Get dressed and meet me at the Lake.”
“Sirius-” Remus started but Sirius, feeling ready, bent and took hold of one of Remus’ hands.
“I told you before, Moony; it’s a date. Don’t keep me waiting.” He kissed the back of Remus’ fingers and dropped his hand gently before going on his way.
*
Somehow Remus was awake before seven o clock and he didn’t even want to go back to bed, not without knowing what the deal with Sirius was. He found Sirius by the lake waving his wand around and tightened the extra coat he had thrown over his jumper.
“No need for that,” Sirius called out to him and he felt warmth descending over him as soon as he neared Sirius. Ah, good old warming charms. “Come on, take off that thing.”
“Whatever for?” Remus asked even as he Vanished the coat. Sirius gave him a look Remus had never seen on his face that caused the back of his neck to warm. “What is it?”
“You look good in white,” Sirius replied easily as he skated slowly towards him and looked all the way from head to toe. “Real sexy, Moony.” Thank Merlin, it was winter or Remus would probably have steam coming out of his ears because did Sirius just turn his charm on full blast?
“Yeah?” Remus decided that maybe he could just go with the flow and see what happened. “You know, I like the look of leather on you. Don’t know how you’ll skate in those trousers though,” he laughed as Sirius looked horrified and skated past him. He gained momentum slowly and skated outside the range of charms Sirius had set , gritting his teeth when the wind rushed to meet him.
“Oi!” Sirius called out as he followed. When Remus spun to face Sirius he saw that his trousers had changed. “You’re a horrible date, Moony, leaving me behind.” Sirius slid close to Remus who was spinning and turning slowly on his spot. “It’s no wonder you haven’t had a girlfriend or a date in ages.”
“I’m not interested in girls,” Remus answered and immediately had a breathless moment of panic; what if Sirius was disgusted? He stopped to look at Sirius who stopped few feet away from him. “And I don’t date because there’s someone else I want.”
“You want, do you?” Sirius asked and cocked his head to a side slightly before skating towards Remus and tugging on his hand to follow him. “I don’t know about this bloke you want, but I want you to be my boyfriend. Come on!” He speeded up and Remus was forced to do the same with one hand in Sirius’, heart starting to pump faster from the exertion and the effect of Sirius’ words.
“Sirius,” Remus tried calling out but the wind howled loudly and his eyes teared up with the force of the wind and maybe even the hope and promise Sirius’ words brought. He tugged his hand out of Sirius’ and skated quickly to overtake Sirius, laughing as he felt the full brunt of Sirius’ one-line confession.
A thoughtful present, a confession that made being together sound as simple as calculating two plus two and all the little things that Sirius did for him. Remus was done for; there was nothing, nobody that could take Sirius’ place now.
*
“Show off,” Sirius called out but he was smiling when Remus jumped and spun and landed without a hitch. “I didn’t know you were that good.” Remus shrugged but if the pinkness on his cheeks was any indication, he was definitely pleased.
“Come on,” he shouted over the loud wind and held out a hand. Sirius took a deep breath and began skating towards Remus.
He stumbled. He bloody stumbled and then tripped on the toe pick of his skate. Instead of the ground though, Sirius found himself colliding against something soft.
“I’ve got you,” came Remus’ soft voice just above Sirius’ ear. Sirius looked up to find Remus holding him up by the arms. Sirius couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way Remus was looking at him, practically begging to be kissed.
“I know.” Sirius felt his heart in his throat. He didn’t even try to keep his expression neutral; he didn’t want to hide his feelings for Remus anymore.
Remus kissed him.
Sirius felt himself slipping down and sitting on the frozen lake with Remus’ lips on his and his face clutched between gloved fingers. It was so worth it-the waiting, the dreaming, the days Sirius had had to see Remus in his white jumper and was unable to do anything about it. Even freezing his arse off was worth it if Remus was really kissing him.
“Padfoot,” Remus was calling his name and Sirius’ eyes shot open to see Remus looking at him worriedly. “Are you-was that alright? I-I don’t know what came over me-”
“Me. I’ll come over you if you let me,” Sirius blurted out and then stared at Remus as he looked gobsmacked, completely unlike him. Remus heaved a sigh.
Sirius cleared his throat. “What I mean to say is this: I want us to get together. Romantically.” Did he just use that word?
“Yeah,” Remus replied, still red on the face. “That was kind of the idea.”
“Just wanted to make things clear, in case,” Sirius clarified and then touched his lips. “Bloody hell, you kissed me!” Remus looked at him as if he had lost his marbles.
“Yes, I thought that was obvious,” he said, “seeing as how I do feel the same way about you.”
“Oh,” Sirius replied and then slowly grinned. “That’s brilliant!”
“Yeah,” Remus replied absent-mindedly as he petted Sirius’ hair. “I like your hair.”
Sirius ducked his head, feeling uncharacteristically shy for someone who received compliments every other day. His hand automatically went to touch the back of his hair.
“It’s okay, I like other parts of you too,” Remus said somewhat hurriedly when Sirius had been quiet for too long. Sirius looked up to see the slight furrow between Remus’ eyebrows and smiled cheekily; only Remus would worry about-God, forbid-offending him.
“Yeah, parts which are freezing I’m sure,” Sirius said and tried getting up. “Bloody hell! I hate winter,” grumbled Sirius as he tried to shake off the tingling numbness in his feet.
“That’s not what you said during Christmas,” Remus reminded him and grimaced. “No, you’re right; winter is horrible,” he muttered as he repositioned his legs to shake off the numbness. Sirius stared at the boy in front of him.
“Maybe not so bad,” he admitted with a smile despite his discomfort; at least they were in this together, right? “You wouldn’t be wearing that during summer.”
“This?” Remus tugged at the jumper and smiled at Sirius. “You really like it, don’t you? I should tell mum to make one for all of you.”
“No!” Sirius replied immediately. While having a matching pair of jumpers was corny…and absolutely perfect, the thought of James or Peter wearing an identical jumper as Remus was just…no. “I like how you look in it,” he told Remus honestly and his heart flipped a little when Remus smiled down at his hands.
“Err. Thanks, I suppose,” Remus answered, sounding oddly lost for words. “We should get back to the castle; catching a cold tends to ruin a date.” But Sirius wasn’t ready to face the world behind the walls of the school just yet and grabbed Remus’ arm as he made to get up.
“Let’s wait for a bit, yeah?” he asked, feeling strangely out of his element; all this gentleness and hesitancy around someone he had known for years was just bizarre. He let go of Remus and rested his hands on his bent knees as he continued wiggling his toes in his shoes.
“Okay.” Remus agreed. However when he settled back down, crossing his legs comfortably on the ice, he too kept his hands tightly to himself, as if unsure of what to do with them. Remus was wringing his hands in his beautiful white jumper and that’s when Sirius realised that Remus too was feeling this-this fuzzy, fluttering excitement and calmness all at the same time. Just like himself.
He reached out and linked his fingers with Remus’; they would be just fine.
Author/Artist: abyss-valkyrie
Recipient: cackling_madly
Rating:PG 13
Contents or warnings (highlight to view): *One swear word! *
Word count:~4500
Summary: Sixth Year and Sirius finally notices his feelings for Remus when he gets a white jumper.
Notes: First off, thanks a million times to shaggydogstail for the beta work without whom I would probably be looking back on this fic in two years and crying. :D Cackling_madly, I do hope you enjoy this rather fluffy get-together fic. I was pretty much convinced of doing a walking dead crossover but that was just too angst-filled and I couldn't do that during the holidays. I wanted to do an artsy looking ice skating piece but it just wouldn't happen. Hope you guys enjoy this.Definitely had to use references of skaters for one of the pictures and completely redid an old picture that just went with this fic!!!
It was the white jumper that had started it all. The same jumper that most boys would steer clear of in favour of black or something similarly masculine. But not Remus.
Not Remus, simply because his mother had sent it for him, wrapped in a shiny package mid-November, knitted with all her motherly love. Just looking at the thing made Sirius warm to the core and seeing Remus in it had warmed his face as if he had gulped down three bottles of butterbeer in one go.
That had been the first few times and when Sirius realised it was quite possible that all the times he had found himself looking at Remus might have something to do with more than a slight crush on his friend; friend being the keyword. At least he had managed to get his face under control.
Sometimes his mouth would dry up like a desert if Remus so much as leaned over his shoulder, which happened a lot actually. Other times he would be content sitting on the floor right in front of Remus, occasionally running fingers up his leg absentmindedly, with Remus doing the same with his hair.
The more he looked-stared, more like-at Remus in his white jumper the more he realised that Remus returned those looks. Did it mean something?
Sirius kept a mental tally and it went like:
Monday:
Transfiguration classroom: Remus looks pretty hot with his hair sticking up at the back, hopefully McG. won’t notice it-why’s he turning around?-was that a smile? Well, okay...
Potions classroom: Let’s touch Moony’s hand accidentally-oh! Why’d he knock off the beetle wings like that?
Dormitory: Will it be weird to kiss him goodnight-no, wait; friends don’t do that. Ah! Damn! He really looks the best when he’s smiling.
Tuesday:
Common room: The white jumper’s on, white socks, white quill in hand-white is really Moony’s colour, eh? Did he just wink? Nothing’s up, per se. Oh-uh-just admiring the view.
Wednesday:
Quidditch locker room: Great! Here comes sexy Moony in white. It’d be good of him to help me with my gear…kind of like a boyfriend? *blush* Thanks a lot for the help, Moons, I love you.
Friday:
DADA classroom: How about the size of werewolf’s knob, Professor? No, bad idea. Remus does have pretty big hands…hmmm…
Saturday:
Detention in the Owlery: I hate winter. Merlin’s balls! Moony’s letting me wear his jumper, bloody hell! *sniff sniff*
Sunday:
Dormitory: Moony? Remus? Did we just kiss…who the fuck wakes up at three in the night? Ahhh, it feels terribly…lonely.
So it went something like that, when Sirius wasn’t dreaming about his family and a family tree that he no longer had a place on.
“A bit too cold for watching the sunrise, isn’t it?”
Sirius opened his eyes, rimmed with darkness from sleep deprivation as Remus stood under the falling snow just outside the little area beneath the leafless tree in the grounds, overlooking the Great Lake he had charmed to repel all of Nature’s elements. “Look who’s an early riser today,” he teased lightly, dark thoughts of home fleeing in the presence of Remus in his white jumper.
“I couldn’t sleep.” Remus entered the charmed area and sighed at the warmth that descended over him. “Scoot over, puppy.”
“Be careful, Remus,” Sirius warned as he made space for Remus, “you should know better than to poke fun at the Grim.” Remus rolled his eyes at that.
“Of course, I should be the one scared, considering that I am a werewolf, in case you forgot.”
“No way I’d forget that, Moony,” Sirius returned with the beginning of his usual smile, “what with your rugged sexiness and all.”
“Yeah, so very sexy, all of this,” Remus said drily though Sirius fancied he could see the tips of his friend’s ears reddening. He looked closer and then, with that familiar excitement stirring in the pit of his stomach, reached out.
“Hey, Moony. Look.” Remus’s eyelids fluttered shut just as Sirius’ fingertips brushed lightly against his cheek and withdrew again. Sirius smiled as he motioned with his gaze to his right hand and Remus, seeming somewhat flustered for a second leaned in closer. He blinked as if to make sure that the microscopic thing between Sirius’ thumb and index finger was what he wanted Remus to see.
“It’s an eyelash.” Remus stated skeptically and looked up at Sirius beside him through his fringe. Sirius nodded, his smile turning softer than his usual exuberant expressions.
Sitting here under the frozen tree at five in the morning may have been considered as madness by any, sane person but where Sirius was concerned, sanity usually had no place. But then Remus himself couldn’t be any saner if he wanted to sit alone with Sirius, waiting to catch the first rays of the winter sun with an Impervius for the constant drops from icicles above.
Sirius’ poor excuse of ‘It’s bloody cold here, like a real-life ice-age or something’ when he had his thickest coat on could not make Remus leave. If Remus enjoyed giving him company while he battled insomnia, who was Sirius to get in the way of his fun?
“Yeah,” Sirius replied twirling the lash lightly still smiling before looking directly into Remus’s eyes with a bright look, “Think of a wish.”
“A wish?” Remus frowned lightly before glancing back and forth between Sirius and the eyelash between his fingers. Sirius nodded with a keen expression.
“Yeah, you know when you make a wish on an eyelash and blow, it comes true,” he replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world, making Remus raise an eyebrow.
“Since when do you believe in things like that?” he asked. Sirius gave him a lopsided smile.
“A little wishful thinking never hurt anybody, Moony,” Sirius told him and spared Remus a glance before reaching out for his hand, “Narcissa showed me this once; ages ago when she was still likeable.” Remus didn’t move, he didn’t even seem to breathe, as if frozen. Sirius kept his fingers busy, trying not to let that electrifying jolt he felt where their hands touched distract him as he folded the pale hand into a fist, and then placed the single eyelash on the back of it.
“Go on,” Sirius urged and Remus looked like he would roll his eyes but Sirius knew he would give in; a part of him always gave in to Sirius’ antics and would probably always do so. Hopefully. Remus closed his eyes.
*
“I’m supposed to wish and then blow it away?” Remus asked, feeling ridiculous talking to Sirius with his eyes shut.
“Yeah,” Sirius answered softly from beside him. Remus tried concentrating on his wish.
Did he want to become normal? Did he want to grow taller than Sirius? Did he want his dad to get his Ministry job back? Or a pair of boots like David Bowie’s or a suitcase full of chocolates-
‘I just really want to kiss Sirius.'
He heard the slight puff and felt Sirius’ breath against his hair, blowing the eyelash away before he could change his mind. He opened his eyes to find Sirius’ face close. Too close.
“What did you wish for?” Sirius whispered as if the moment was too precious and fragile to break with sound. He tilted his head to peer closely at Remus. “Moony?” Remus couldn’t help glancing at the pink lips barely centimetres away before catching Sirius’ gaze. Quickly, he looked away to see the frozen lake.
“Shoes,” Remus answered, his voice too loud in the bubble ensconcing them away from the waking world, “I want one of those white skating shoes, saw them on the telly last winter. Maybe I’ll ask dad for a pair next Christmas.” Not a complete lie, alright, since he did enjoy a slide across the ice. Sirius blinked and then shifted back as if he had just realised their proximity.
Or maybe he had detected Remus’ errant thoughts. Remus chalked it up to paranoia.
“Ice skating, Moony?” Sirius asked, quizzically and leaned his body forward as he crossed his legs and sat comfortably. The twittering of unseen birds had started. “Six years and you’ve never said a word of it to us. Are you any good at it?” His face had taken on an interested look and the quiet intimacy from minutes ago had vanished, so Remus decided to sit back and enjoy his company without thinking about the wish.
“Nothing impressive.” Remus shrugged and Sirius looked thoughtfully at the lake, ice shimmering in the morning sun.
“We should try it out sometime. Together, in the morning like this.” Sirius turned to grin at Remus, “So there’s nobody out to see you make a fool of yourself.” Remus returned the grin with a twinkle in his eyes.
“Aren’t you considerate today? I should probably bring Peter’s camera along just to have proof that Sirius Black fails at something spectacularly.”
Sirius faked a scowl, evident by the twitch of his lips. “Don’t have much faith in me, do you, Moony?” Remus laughed out then and then sobered up.
“Sirius, have you ever skated on ice before? It’s not very…‘Pure-blood’, is it?” Remus couldn’t help the irritated tone his voice took on whenever he was reminded of the approaching cataclysm of a possible war, all because of blood. Quite possibly, it felt more personal now since Sirius had practically been forced to leave by his very own Pure-blood parents.
“Moony.” Sirius bumped shoulders with Remus, immediately calming him down. “You forget who you’re talking to. For your information, I have skated with Prongs in Muggle London.” At that, Remus turned to look at Sirius fully.
“Yeah? That sounds promising then.” Remus peered at Sirius with a serious look. “So, no spectacular fails or falling on your arse? I was hoping to get a good photo of it all.”
“What? My arse?” Sirius asked with incredulity and Remus’ eyes widened as it caught him off-guard. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it and bumped Sirius’ shoulder somewhat hard with his bony one.
“Prat! You know what I mean.”
Sirius opened his mouth, probably tempted to see how far he could provoke Remus with his teasing. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll fall for you all you want. Happy now?”
“Yeah. Sure.” Remus hugged his knees as if to ward off the cold and refused to look at Sirius, he couldn’t; not when he knew he would definitely give in to his heart whispering ‘That was definitely Sirius flirting; he wants you too, he’s looking at you’. “Don’t worry about it; I’ll be there to catch you when you fall,” he told Sirius in a mad moment of honesty. He felt Sirius’ fingers tug at the front of his hair lightly and turned to meet Sirius’ gaze.
“I know you will. It’s a date then.” Sirius replied with that warm smile that could probably melt a snowman.
*
“I don’t get this sudden obsession with the ice skating thing.” James commented loudly as he hid away a copy of Hercule Poirot’s Christmas. under his pillow when Sirius entered their dormitory. Sirius looked around immediately and relaxed when he saw that Remus wasn’t in the room, before throwing a scowl at his best friend’s direction.
“Not so loud, wanker.” He bent to retrieve his transfigured skating shoes from under his bed. “I’ve a skating date with someone, okay?” That piqued James’ interest and he sat up.
“What?” he almost wrenched apart the curtain of his bed. “Who? When? How?” he asked in a single breath.
“Him or her?” Peter piped up from under Remus’ bed where he was trying to locate the hidden stash of Sugar Quills under James’ orders.
“Both. I’ll tell you later,” Sirius replied quickly and hurried out of the room seconds before Remus emerged from the bathroom, running a towel over his hair. Remus sniffed automatically.
“Was Padfoot here just now?” Remus asked James with a frown.
“Both?” James cried out loud, startling Remus and Peter who had already sat on his own bed as if he had never ventured under Remus’.
“What?” Remus asked as he dropped his towel at the foot of his bed and poured a glass of water.
“It’s Padfoot,” James explained in that way where he talked and analysed the situation simultaneously, “he’s been going skating on ice like how Muggles do it. Completely obsessed for some reason, he is.”
“Is he, now?” Remus looked surprise and gulped down the glass of water before composing himself. “Whatever for?”
“He has a date with a-” Peter started and then rubbed his chin, “-bloke or a bird-”
“Or both,” James finished.
“Both?” Remus asked in disbelief as if realising once again that there never were any straight answers with Sirius. “Sirius, you, and you too-” he said pointing at Peter who gestured ‘what?’ with his chubby hands, “-are absolutely mental.”
“Complete nutters,” Peter agreed with a nod.
“That does include you too, Moony, considering you are one of us,” James reminded Remus. He saw Remus turn away but not before he caught a glimpse of the smile making its way on his face. ‘Brilliant! He closed the curtains quickly and pulled out the book; either Alfred or Lydia had killed the old geezer and he just had to know why.
*
“Can you do that alex thing?” Sirius asked interestedly as he slid smoothly in an arc around the Room of Requirement.
“Axel, you mean,” Lily stated with a roll of her eyes, “I’m not a professional.”
“So, no,” Sirius answered easily as he jumped and landed hard on the charmed floor to the sound of ripping fabric.
“This is why I told you jeans are a very impractical choice when you’re ice skating,” Lily said matter-of-factly as she pointed her wand at Sirius’ knee. “Be glad that you didn’t break anything.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius dusted off the ice clinging to his trousers as the material joined over his knee. “Thanks, Evans. You know, you’re pretty handy to have around, I can see why James likes you.” While he had told Remus that he had skated, it hadn’t entirely been the truth. He had skated-somewhat, kind of- with those wheel-y shoes, if skated was the right word for something resembling a giraffe dancing on the streets. But then, Sirius wasn’t a dog for nothing; hounding Lily had been easy enough until she had given in. She was his saviour, alright.
“Did you just call me ‘handy’?” Lily asked, ignoring the rest of the sentence as she transfigured her shoes back to normal.
“Funny, that you focused on that bit,” Sirius told her while taking off his inline skates. “Did you know that James reads Agatha Christina?” Lily looked surprised, frowning at Sirius as they exited the room.
“It’s Agatha Christie and you assume that I like her just because I’m a Muggle-born?” At that Sirius grinned and pointed an index finger at her.
“Now, now, who said anything about you? I was just making conversation.” Sirius stuffed his hands in his pockets, feeling mighty good about himself. “Looks like you have something to think about if talking about James makes you all-” he gestured at her face, “-red like that.” Lily glared at him for good measure but remained silent until they reached the Fat Lady’s portrait.
“Does he really read mystery novels?” Lily asked curiously and Sirius hid a smile.
“A mystery? No wonder Prongs is so interested in Muggle fiction suddenly.” Sirius brushed his hair back with his fingers. “So, is it any good, that Hercules Christmas?-”
“Hercule Poirot’s Christmas,” Lily corrected quickly, as if unable to bear Sirius’ mix-up as they entered the common room. “Yes, if you’re into murder mysteries.”
“Ha! So you do read Agatha Christina,” Sirius exclaimed and Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a flush that covered her nose and cheeks.
“It’s Chris-you’re doing that on purpose.” Lily scowled as she realised what Sirius was doing. “Yes, but there’s really no need to look so smug about it; it’s not like I’m magically going to fall for him after all these years.” She crossed her arms over her chest. She tried hard, Sirius thought, but tiny people didn’t scare him. He shrugged.
“Your loss, to be honest, Evans. James is human, you know. He’s done fairly stupid things but he’s already growing up fast.” That scared him, how fast James was changing with the shifting atmosphere in the Wizarding World.
“Yeah, alright,” Lily replied though she looked to be considering something and then stepped away. “Good luck on your date.”
Tomorrow he would tell Remus everything.
*
If there was one thing that the boys in the Sixth Year dormitory didn’t want to face, it was Remus Lupin right after he had been woken up. Sirius, on the other hand, was completely alright with Remus’ slightly violent tendencies; he was a werewolf after all.
According to Peter, he was the only one brave enough to wake Remus up if needed so naturally Sirius would do just that.
It gave him an excuse to move away Remus’ sleep tousled hair from his eyes and grab him all over to ensure that he did not fall on the way to the bathroom but would generally get roughly pushed away if he tried interrupting Remus’ shower. Let it not be said that Sirius Black never tried hard.
“Do you know what time it is?”
“Five forty two, to be exact,” Sirius replied without a pause. He nudged Remus awake only to be rewarded with a kick to his shin which Sirius had a sudden urge to return. “Come on, I have a surprise for you.”
“Unless it’s a soft, duck feather pillow on your bed, go away,” Remus managed to sound out of patience even while whispering. Sirius couldn’t help smiling at the honest words and patted Remus’ thigh.
“I’ll take you to my bed, but not now. I have something much better.” He pulled out the pair of white ice skates he had managed to order with a lot of help from Lily. Bless her for knowing all about Muggle money and exchange rates. At the sight of the new shoes, Remus blinked awake.
“Sirius, are those what I think they are?” He stared as Sirius wordlessly handed them to him. Remus felt the leather, caressed the smooth side of the blade and touched it in ways that had Sirius envying the pair of shoes a little. Just a bit.
“Alright,” Sirius said loudly. He took the shoes from Remus’ hands and placed them on the bed. “Get dressed and meet me at the Lake.”
“Sirius-” Remus started but Sirius, feeling ready, bent and took hold of one of Remus’ hands.
“I told you before, Moony; it’s a date. Don’t keep me waiting.” He kissed the back of Remus’ fingers and dropped his hand gently before going on his way.
*
Somehow Remus was awake before seven o clock and he didn’t even want to go back to bed, not without knowing what the deal with Sirius was. He found Sirius by the lake waving his wand around and tightened the extra coat he had thrown over his jumper.
“No need for that,” Sirius called out to him and he felt warmth descending over him as soon as he neared Sirius. Ah, good old warming charms. “Come on, take off that thing.”
“Whatever for?” Remus asked even as he Vanished the coat. Sirius gave him a look Remus had never seen on his face that caused the back of his neck to warm. “What is it?”
“You look good in white,” Sirius replied easily as he skated slowly towards him and looked all the way from head to toe. “Real sexy, Moony.” Thank Merlin, it was winter or Remus would probably have steam coming out of his ears because did Sirius just turn his charm on full blast?
“Yeah?” Remus decided that maybe he could just go with the flow and see what happened. “You know, I like the look of leather on you. Don’t know how you’ll skate in those trousers though,” he laughed as Sirius looked horrified and skated past him. He gained momentum slowly and skated outside the range of charms Sirius had set , gritting his teeth when the wind rushed to meet him.
“Oi!” Sirius called out as he followed. When Remus spun to face Sirius he saw that his trousers had changed. “You’re a horrible date, Moony, leaving me behind.” Sirius slid close to Remus who was spinning and turning slowly on his spot. “It’s no wonder you haven’t had a girlfriend or a date in ages.”
“I’m not interested in girls,” Remus answered and immediately had a breathless moment of panic; what if Sirius was disgusted? He stopped to look at Sirius who stopped few feet away from him. “And I don’t date because there’s someone else I want.”
“You want, do you?” Sirius asked and cocked his head to a side slightly before skating towards Remus and tugging on his hand to follow him. “I don’t know about this bloke you want, but I want you to be my boyfriend. Come on!” He speeded up and Remus was forced to do the same with one hand in Sirius’, heart starting to pump faster from the exertion and the effect of Sirius’ words.
“Sirius,” Remus tried calling out but the wind howled loudly and his eyes teared up with the force of the wind and maybe even the hope and promise Sirius’ words brought. He tugged his hand out of Sirius’ and skated quickly to overtake Sirius, laughing as he felt the full brunt of Sirius’ one-line confession.
A thoughtful present, a confession that made being together sound as simple as calculating two plus two and all the little things that Sirius did for him. Remus was done for; there was nothing, nobody that could take Sirius’ place now.
*
“Show off,” Sirius called out but he was smiling when Remus jumped and spun and landed without a hitch. “I didn’t know you were that good.” Remus shrugged but if the pinkness on his cheeks was any indication, he was definitely pleased.
“Come on,” he shouted over the loud wind and held out a hand. Sirius took a deep breath and began skating towards Remus.
He stumbled. He bloody stumbled and then tripped on the toe pick of his skate. Instead of the ground though, Sirius found himself colliding against something soft.
“I’ve got you,” came Remus’ soft voice just above Sirius’ ear. Sirius looked up to find Remus holding him up by the arms. Sirius couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way Remus was looking at him, practically begging to be kissed.
“I know.” Sirius felt his heart in his throat. He didn’t even try to keep his expression neutral; he didn’t want to hide his feelings for Remus anymore.
Remus kissed him.
Sirius felt himself slipping down and sitting on the frozen lake with Remus’ lips on his and his face clutched between gloved fingers. It was so worth it-the waiting, the dreaming, the days Sirius had had to see Remus in his white jumper and was unable to do anything about it. Even freezing his arse off was worth it if Remus was really kissing him.
“Padfoot,” Remus was calling his name and Sirius’ eyes shot open to see Remus looking at him worriedly. “Are you-was that alright? I-I don’t know what came over me-”
“Me. I’ll come over you if you let me,” Sirius blurted out and then stared at Remus as he looked gobsmacked, completely unlike him. Remus heaved a sigh.
Sirius cleared his throat. “What I mean to say is this: I want us to get together. Romantically.” Did he just use that word?
“Yeah,” Remus replied, still red on the face. “That was kind of the idea.”
“Just wanted to make things clear, in case,” Sirius clarified and then touched his lips. “Bloody hell, you kissed me!” Remus looked at him as if he had lost his marbles.
“Yes, I thought that was obvious,” he said, “seeing as how I do feel the same way about you.”
“Oh,” Sirius replied and then slowly grinned. “That’s brilliant!”
“Yeah,” Remus replied absent-mindedly as he petted Sirius’ hair. “I like your hair.”
Sirius ducked his head, feeling uncharacteristically shy for someone who received compliments every other day. His hand automatically went to touch the back of his hair.
“It’s okay, I like other parts of you too,” Remus said somewhat hurriedly when Sirius had been quiet for too long. Sirius looked up to see the slight furrow between Remus’ eyebrows and smiled cheekily; only Remus would worry about-God, forbid-offending him.
“Yeah, parts which are freezing I’m sure,” Sirius said and tried getting up. “Bloody hell! I hate winter,” grumbled Sirius as he tried to shake off the tingling numbness in his feet.
“That’s not what you said during Christmas,” Remus reminded him and grimaced. “No, you’re right; winter is horrible,” he muttered as he repositioned his legs to shake off the numbness. Sirius stared at the boy in front of him.
“Maybe not so bad,” he admitted with a smile despite his discomfort; at least they were in this together, right? “You wouldn’t be wearing that during summer.”
“This?” Remus tugged at the jumper and smiled at Sirius. “You really like it, don’t you? I should tell mum to make one for all of you.”
“No!” Sirius replied immediately. While having a matching pair of jumpers was corny…and absolutely perfect, the thought of James or Peter wearing an identical jumper as Remus was just…no. “I like how you look in it,” he told Remus honestly and his heart flipped a little when Remus smiled down at his hands.
“Err. Thanks, I suppose,” Remus answered, sounding oddly lost for words. “We should get back to the castle; catching a cold tends to ruin a date.” But Sirius wasn’t ready to face the world behind the walls of the school just yet and grabbed Remus’ arm as he made to get up.
“Let’s wait for a bit, yeah?” he asked, feeling strangely out of his element; all this gentleness and hesitancy around someone he had known for years was just bizarre. He let go of Remus and rested his hands on his bent knees as he continued wiggling his toes in his shoes.
“Okay.” Remus agreed. However when he settled back down, crossing his legs comfortably on the ice, he too kept his hands tightly to himself, as if unsure of what to do with them. Remus was wringing his hands in his beautiful white jumper and that’s when Sirius realised that Remus too was feeling this-this fuzzy, fluttering excitement and calmness all at the same time. Just like himself.
He reached out and linked his fingers with Remus’; they would be just fine.