Pinch-Hit Attempt
Title: Classroom Boredom
Author: mysticlykoi
Written for: minnow_53
Rating: PG
Prompt: Boys misbehaving in lessons
Any other random notes, warnings, etc.: Very sorry, didn't quite manage any erotic overtones as requested, but I've been sick for ages and, well, this is what I came up with. XD; I hope you like it.
It wasn't that Sirius didn't like Transfiguration. He did. He liked it a lot, in fact, and it was definitely one of his favorite classes. For one, the work demanded more of his effort and concentration than most of his classes, though still not enough of it for him to have something to do the entire class period. For another, trying to ruffle McGonagall's feathers after nearly five and a half years of her having grown used to their tricks was usually a great source of entertainment.
Today, however, was not going the way it had supposed to. James had been in the middle of giving Snivellus a large, unbecoming pink afro when the Prefectly Miss Evans had hexed him from behind. He was spending what should have been an hour in Transfiguration up in the Hospital Wing with Madam Pomphrey trying to get his ear and nose hair back in control.
Bloody Evans, Sirius thought to himself, glaring daggers at the back of her head. There's nothing to do and I'm stuck in a room completely deprived of anyone who can launch a decent inkwad.
Then, movement to his left caught his eye. Remus had just finished the written assignment McGonagall had given them to do after they had transfigured their rabbits into Lazy-Susans and had sat back with a light sigh. Here was the only good thing about not having James around: he got to watch Remus without interruptions or dumb questions to stop him. It wasn't something he got to do as often as he liked, as even if James wasn't around Remus would usually notice and either go hesitant and wary, asking if something was the matter, or inform Sirius that he had the disturbing makings of an amateur stalker. Sirius usually enjoyed both reactions. Today, though, he would merely watch the quiet werewolf reread his assignment, take in all the small lip quirks and stiff, awkward shifting and thank god that Remus couldn't see him and that Peter would be stuck on his assignment the entire class period.
Remus went very still for a moment, then started writing something. Probably left out some ridiculous detail that'd have him wetting himself after class, Sirius rolled his eyes, slouching forward on his desk. He didn't notice the sound of parchment tearing, or the quick look Remus cast around the room to make sure McGonagall was busy helping another student.
He couldn't help but notice, however, when Remus quickly tossed a folded note onto Sirius' desk without so much as glancing backwards.
What is it this time, then? Entertaining fantasies of how to get back at Lily and I just happened to get caught in your day-dreamy line of vision?
Something light and warm and far more pleasant than what one should feel after being tossed a note hummed in Sirius' chest. He just barely stopped himself from grinning down at the folded bit of parchment. Tearing off a bit for himself, he scratched out a reply.
You're just creepy, you know that? You've got eyes in the back of your head like you're somebody's MUM or something.
Making sure McGonagall still wasn't looking, Sirius slid the note across the floor and watched Remus carefully bend to scoop it up. He nearly snickered aloud as the boys eyebrows shot up.
The next note was discreetly kicked backwards along the floor as well.
How I ended up the creepy one as a result of you staring at me I will never begin to understand. Also, if you compare me to somebody's mum again, there will be no more kissing for you ever.
Anyway, it could be a werewolf thing, you know, heightened senses and all that. I can just tell.
There were two minutes of impatient squirming on Sirius' part as he waited for McGonagall to be distracted long enough for him to toss his reply to the waiting Remus.
I'm bored. Entertain me. Your threat has gone ignored, by the way, because you'd break and we both know it.
Also, you and your unfair sensory advantages must be stopped.
Remus' next hastily thrown note nearly jabbed him in the eye with a very sharp corner.
Shall I just go back to doing nothing then and let you watch me in peace? You seemed content with that.
There will be no stopping of me and my senses, thanks, I need them as keen as possible to make sure you lot don't blow yourselves up or drive some poor teacher into a mad, homicidal frenzy.
McGonagall just barely missed Remus plucking Sirius' next note out of his hair.
And watch you go over your ruddy paper again? No thanks. Do something interesting, give me a reason not to stab my eyes out. THE NOT-DOING-ANYTHING-AT-ALL IS GETTING TO ME, HELP MOONY, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE MY EYEBALLS.
And what are you on about, we can handle some loony old teachers, remember that one time Flich tried to shut James in that broom closet with a cobra? Got out of that alright and he got what was coming to him. Not that he's exactly a teacher, but still.
Remus paused for a long moment before Sirius could see his quill moving against the parchment once more.
Then, Sirius bore witness to something he had never even thought he could imagine.
Bending backwards and to his right, Remus let his entire upper half hang upside down over the space that seperated their desks, note folded and clenched between his teeth, looking for all the world like some silly, cross-eyed teenage boy and not at all like Prefect, model student Remus Lupin, because Remus Lupin would never, ever be caught dead so blatantly mucking about during class.
Remus Lupin also would never try and do such a thing without making sure that no teacher could see him. Unfortunately for him, he seemed to have lost his mind, because standing there, frozen in the middle of trying to get through the small desk aisle he was blocking, was Professor McGonagall, staring at him as if she had never seen him before in her life.
The three of them went very, very still. Sirius was torn between laughing himself sick and grabbing the werewolf to try and make a run for it. Then, Remus unclenched his teeth and swallowed the note as he sat back up, valiantly scraping up the last shreds of his dignity. McGonagall turned purple.
"Five points from Gryffindor?" Remus ventured weakly.
For a dangerous moment, McGonagall looked like she might break down, take Remus by the shoulders and shake him violently until he explained himself. That, or explode. Sirius could never tell if the twitching in her right eye spelled doom for someone hapless student or her own mental health.
"Ten," She managed, finally. "Just. Ten points from Gryffindor." And with that, she turned on her heel and strode to her desk, sitting down gingerly when she got there. Sirius couldn't help but consider offering her a shot of firewhiskey.
He turned to Remus, staring incredulously at the boy who had gone a rather attractive shade of pink. Said boy had began to shuffle his papers nervously, stuffing the notes into his bookbag and passing his paper forward for someone else to bring to McGonagall.
"This never happened," He murmured lowly, so only Sirius could hear him. "This never happened and no one will ever, ever believe you if you tell them otherwise, because it didn't happen."
"Oh yes it did," Sirius breathed, grinning from ear to ear. "It did and no one else has to know because I will know, and so will you, and I will look at you and you will know what I'm thinking. And McGonagall's eye will twitch for at least a week any time she sees you. Because it happened. Because you lost your mind and lost us house points just so I might laugh."
Remus' lips quirked and he shifted in his seat, and as he turned away to hide the fact that he had gone tomato red with embarrassment, Sirius thought that this was possibly the best thing that had ever happened as a result of classroom boredom.
Author: mysticlykoi
Written for: minnow_53
Rating: PG
Prompt: Boys misbehaving in lessons
Any other random notes, warnings, etc.: Very sorry, didn't quite manage any erotic overtones as requested, but I've been sick for ages and, well, this is what I came up with. XD; I hope you like it.
It wasn't that Sirius didn't like Transfiguration. He did. He liked it a lot, in fact, and it was definitely one of his favorite classes. For one, the work demanded more of his effort and concentration than most of his classes, though still not enough of it for him to have something to do the entire class period. For another, trying to ruffle McGonagall's feathers after nearly five and a half years of her having grown used to their tricks was usually a great source of entertainment.
Today, however, was not going the way it had supposed to. James had been in the middle of giving Snivellus a large, unbecoming pink afro when the Prefectly Miss Evans had hexed him from behind. He was spending what should have been an hour in Transfiguration up in the Hospital Wing with Madam Pomphrey trying to get his ear and nose hair back in control.
Bloody Evans, Sirius thought to himself, glaring daggers at the back of her head. There's nothing to do and I'm stuck in a room completely deprived of anyone who can launch a decent inkwad.
Then, movement to his left caught his eye. Remus had just finished the written assignment McGonagall had given them to do after they had transfigured their rabbits into Lazy-Susans and had sat back with a light sigh. Here was the only good thing about not having James around: he got to watch Remus without interruptions or dumb questions to stop him. It wasn't something he got to do as often as he liked, as even if James wasn't around Remus would usually notice and either go hesitant and wary, asking if something was the matter, or inform Sirius that he had the disturbing makings of an amateur stalker. Sirius usually enjoyed both reactions. Today, though, he would merely watch the quiet werewolf reread his assignment, take in all the small lip quirks and stiff, awkward shifting and thank god that Remus couldn't see him and that Peter would be stuck on his assignment the entire class period.
Remus went very still for a moment, then started writing something. Probably left out some ridiculous detail that'd have him wetting himself after class, Sirius rolled his eyes, slouching forward on his desk. He didn't notice the sound of parchment tearing, or the quick look Remus cast around the room to make sure McGonagall was busy helping another student.
He couldn't help but notice, however, when Remus quickly tossed a folded note onto Sirius' desk without so much as glancing backwards.
What is it this time, then? Entertaining fantasies of how to get back at Lily and I just happened to get caught in your day-dreamy line of vision?
Something light and warm and far more pleasant than what one should feel after being tossed a note hummed in Sirius' chest. He just barely stopped himself from grinning down at the folded bit of parchment. Tearing off a bit for himself, he scratched out a reply.
You're just creepy, you know that? You've got eyes in the back of your head like you're somebody's MUM or something.
Making sure McGonagall still wasn't looking, Sirius slid the note across the floor and watched Remus carefully bend to scoop it up. He nearly snickered aloud as the boys eyebrows shot up.
The next note was discreetly kicked backwards along the floor as well.
How I ended up the creepy one as a result of you staring at me I will never begin to understand. Also, if you compare me to somebody's mum again, there will be no more kissing for you ever.
Anyway, it could be a werewolf thing, you know, heightened senses and all that. I can just tell.
There were two minutes of impatient squirming on Sirius' part as he waited for McGonagall to be distracted long enough for him to toss his reply to the waiting Remus.
I'm bored. Entertain me. Your threat has gone ignored, by the way, because you'd break and we both know it.
Also, you and your unfair sensory advantages must be stopped.
Remus' next hastily thrown note nearly jabbed him in the eye with a very sharp corner.
Shall I just go back to doing nothing then and let you watch me in peace? You seemed content with that.
There will be no stopping of me and my senses, thanks, I need them as keen as possible to make sure you lot don't blow yourselves up or drive some poor teacher into a mad, homicidal frenzy.
McGonagall just barely missed Remus plucking Sirius' next note out of his hair.
And watch you go over your ruddy paper again? No thanks. Do something interesting, give me a reason not to stab my eyes out. THE NOT-DOING-ANYTHING-AT-ALL IS GETTING TO ME, HELP MOONY, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE MY EYEBALLS.
And what are you on about, we can handle some loony old teachers, remember that one time Flich tried to shut James in that broom closet with a cobra? Got out of that alright and he got what was coming to him. Not that he's exactly a teacher, but still.
Remus paused for a long moment before Sirius could see his quill moving against the parchment once more.
Then, Sirius bore witness to something he had never even thought he could imagine.
Bending backwards and to his right, Remus let his entire upper half hang upside down over the space that seperated their desks, note folded and clenched between his teeth, looking for all the world like some silly, cross-eyed teenage boy and not at all like Prefect, model student Remus Lupin, because Remus Lupin would never, ever be caught dead so blatantly mucking about during class.
Remus Lupin also would never try and do such a thing without making sure that no teacher could see him. Unfortunately for him, he seemed to have lost his mind, because standing there, frozen in the middle of trying to get through the small desk aisle he was blocking, was Professor McGonagall, staring at him as if she had never seen him before in her life.
The three of them went very, very still. Sirius was torn between laughing himself sick and grabbing the werewolf to try and make a run for it. Then, Remus unclenched his teeth and swallowed the note as he sat back up, valiantly scraping up the last shreds of his dignity. McGonagall turned purple.
"Five points from Gryffindor?" Remus ventured weakly.
For a dangerous moment, McGonagall looked like she might break down, take Remus by the shoulders and shake him violently until he explained himself. That, or explode. Sirius could never tell if the twitching in her right eye spelled doom for someone hapless student or her own mental health.
"Ten," She managed, finally. "Just. Ten points from Gryffindor." And with that, she turned on her heel and strode to her desk, sitting down gingerly when she got there. Sirius couldn't help but consider offering her a shot of firewhiskey.
He turned to Remus, staring incredulously at the boy who had gone a rather attractive shade of pink. Said boy had began to shuffle his papers nervously, stuffing the notes into his bookbag and passing his paper forward for someone else to bring to McGonagall.
"This never happened," He murmured lowly, so only Sirius could hear him. "This never happened and no one will ever, ever believe you if you tell them otherwise, because it didn't happen."
"Oh yes it did," Sirius breathed, grinning from ear to ear. "It did and no one else has to know because I will know, and so will you, and I will look at you and you will know what I'm thinking. And McGonagall's eye will twitch for at least a week any time she sees you. Because it happened. Because you lost your mind and lost us house points just so I might laugh."
Remus' lips quirked and he shifted in his seat, and as he turned away to hide the fact that he had gone tomato red with embarrassment, Sirius thought that this was possibly the best thing that had ever happened as a result of classroom boredom.