Fic: ...yet your eyes cover my skin - for pavlablack

[huldrejenta]

Title: ...yet your eyes cover my skin
Author: huldrejenta
Recipient: pavlablack
Rating: R
Contents or warnings (highlight to view): *none *
Word count: ~ 4,900
Summary: Voldemort was conquered once and for all in 1981, and his followers were all sent to Azkaban. Years later, justice was done when some of them got released. But being free isn’t always what it’s cracked

Comments

[pavlablack]

What a great surprise to find waiting for me when I got home this afternoon! I was so excited when you took on my prompt, and knew you’d do a fabulous job, which you did. I love your interpretation of the poem, that it wasn’t a literal death but a figurative one Remus was dealing with. Nothing in this story was expected, but all of it was absolutely right.

First, the writing is gorgeous. One of the first of many lines that struck me was this: “Remus has always assumed that acknowledging he’d nothing left to lose would lead to apathy, that it would gather up every inhale of loneliness and every exhale of desperation he’d been breathing for years; leaving him with no hopes, no goals, no yearnings . . . [yet] he finds himself looking forward to the moment when those shoes are soaked all the way through and he can’t possibly get any wetter.” I absolutely love that Remus finds a freedom in letting go, that it gives him a determination to find Sirius in the forest.

And the description of them falling in love is one of the most perfect I’ve ever read: “Their love was old love, from the very day they leaned in for their first, breathless kiss. Never fumbling or searching. What they yearned for was already there.” This makes it all the more heartbreaking that they’ve lost it.

So you set it all up so masterfully it’s hard to imagine things getting any better, but then Remus gets to Sirius’s cabin, and it does. Oh my God, this line from Sirius-“Wouldn’t want you to freeze to death. Bad things usually happen when someone dies near me”-just broke me. Sirius’s bitterness and anger and frustration are so real, so heartbreaking, as is Remus’s reaction to their reunion: “Tomorrow he’s going home. This was a mistake. If life has taught him anything, it’s that hope of any kind inevitably leads to heartache.”

But I’m so glad you didn’t leave it there, because the next part, with Sirius touching Remus in the dark, is my favorite. I love the tentative trust, and them relearning each other’s bodies, with Sirius trying and failing to remember but still latching on to some things, like joy and want. The slow build-up to their lovemaking is heartfelt and hot, a balance that’s hard to strike but you do it so well-from the description of each step they take further towards intimacy to Sirius finally sobbing, “Remus…Ssssso good…” This might sound odd but I think that’s my favorite line in the whole story because it’s just so emotionally raw. As is this line: “Remus blinks away the wetness in his eyes, exhaling completely for the first time in days. Years.” I love the way it goes back to the beginning image and leaves us with a sense of hope. I also like that you didn’t have Sirius recover his memories at this point. I think that would have been the easier, more obvious choice. Somehow it means more that they have to keep “practising” to regain what they lost.

Thanks so much for writing me such a lovely story. I really, really love it.

[huldrejenta]

I'm so so happy that you enjoyed the story! Nothing in this story was expected, but all of it was absolutely right. Can I just say YAY?!

And thank you so much for your thoughtful and lovely comment, it means a lot ♥♥♥
This prompt immediately stood out to me, so I'm glad I could use it.