Bonus Fic: Unfettered And Alive for sambethe
Title: Unfettered And Alive
Author/Artist: liseuse
Recipient: sambethe
Rating: PG
Contents or warnings (highlight to view): *None *
Word count: 870
Summary: Records go missing, Sirius plans and Lily wins.
Notes: This is a bonus round fic for sambethe and was wonderfully betaed by busaikko. All remaining mistakes are, obviously, mine and mine alone. The title owes its existence to the wondrous Joni Mitchell.
Remus rifled through the records on the shelf and frowned. “Accio Bridge Over Troubled Water,” he said hopefully. There was an expectant pause in the living room and then nothing. “Accio Come A Little Closer,” he said with slightly less hope in his voice. And, once again, nothing happened.
Remus stood up, still frowning, and poked his head into the kitchen. “Did you take any records with you to Meda’s the other day?” he asked Sirius, who was whistling along with the kettle.
“No,” Sirius said, and flicked his wand at the kettle so it filled the cups. “I brought some back, though. For some reason Ted has two copies of Avalon. Well, had, now.” He handed Remus a mug of tea and followed him into the living room. “Have you tried accio?”
“No,” Remus said. “Of course I haven’t tried accio. Whatever makes you think I’d try the easiest summoning spell in the world? Of course I’ve tried accio, you lummox.”
“All right, Moonshine,” Sirius said, “don’t get snippy.” He put his mug down on the table and went to kneel in front of the shelves. “Unless you’ve been causing disorder in my filing system again they definitely aren’t there.”
“Trust me,” Remus said, “I would never dare disturb your obsessive filing system. I still have nightmares about fourth year.”
Sirius snickered. “You looked lovely with purple hair.”
“Yes, well,” Remus shook his head, “that doesn’t answer the question of where the records have gone. They can’t have just disappeared into thin air. And we haven’t had a party in ages, and we haven’t been to a party in a week or so, and I was listening to them the other day.”
Sirius flicked his wand and the record player started to play Court and Spark. He sat down on the floor and tugged at Remus’s trouser cuffs. “Just sit down. We’ll work it out.”
Remus lowered himself to the floor gingerly and leaned back against the sofa. “Oh, that’s better. Sodding back.” He accioed the book he was reading and shoved his feet under Sirius’s legs.
“Lily!” Sirius exclaimed a few minutes later, startling Remus who nearly sent tea flying over the floor.
“Where?” Remus asked, looking around in bemusement.
“Here!” Sirius said, and sniffed. “Oh, not right now,” he said seeing Remus’s confusion. “She was here the other day when you’d done your back in. Disappeared off after making some tea. I bet she absconded with the records. Cunning little witch.”
Remus closed his book. “She does enjoy borrowing our records. But she usually leaves a note.”
Sirius frowned. “Accio Lily’s Mocking Note.” A piece of parchment, folded to look like a swan, flew through the air from the record shelf and landed neatly on the table. It unfolded itself and made a noise that was suspiciously like McGonagall’s “hem hem”. Lily’s voice came through the record player’s speakers, sounding very gleeful.
”Ahem, ahem! I take it that if you can hear this then you have been searching for your records. I currently have them in my possession. I will return them. In exchange for one dinner cooked lovingly by Sirius, a copious amount of wine and, ultimately, an evening of such drunkenness and debauchery that Remus dances on the tables again. You have one week to make this happen.”
The swan folded in on itself and disappeared in a puff of crimson smoke.
“Oh no.” Remus said forcefully. “I meant it when I said I was never getting drunk enough to dance on tables again.” He glowered at the smoke drifting towards the ceiling and then raised his eyebrows at Sirius. “You have your menu planning face on. There will be no menu planning. Because there will be no dinner party. No dinner, no wine and definitely no dancing.”
“But this could be the perfect opportunity to make that soup I’ve been thinking about.” Sirius said wistfully. “And that cake. You like cake.”
Remus glowered. “I do like cake. I do not like embarrassing myself more than is humanly necessary.”
“But you’re so good at it.” Sirius said in what he obviously thought was a charming manner. “Ouch!” he added, rubbing his upper arm where Remus had punched him.
“Being good at something does not mean you have to do it.” Remus said. “You, for instance, are good at insulting people. But we’ve been working on you not doing it anymore. And as Padfoot you’re good at digging up people’s gardens; which is something we still need to work on. Mrs Carter from downstairs had words with me the other day.”
Sirius grumbled under his breath and stood up. “Well, Lily isn’t going to back down. It’s either dinner and drunk dancing or we have to buy the records again.”
--
“Owwwwww, my head.” Remus said, and tried to pull the duvet over his head. “Make the sun go away.”
Sirius mumbled in his sleep and turned so he had his head shoved into Remus’s armpit. “’n a minute.”
“Ahem! Ahem!” Lily’s voice rang through the room. “You have held up your end of the bargain splendidly. I only wish I could have recorded Remus’s attempt at skanking. It was worth every moment of this hangover.”
Author/Artist: liseuse
Recipient: sambethe
Rating: PG
Contents or warnings (highlight to view): *None *
Word count: 870
Summary: Records go missing, Sirius plans and Lily wins.
Notes: This is a bonus round fic for sambethe and was wonderfully betaed by busaikko. All remaining mistakes are, obviously, mine and mine alone. The title owes its existence to the wondrous Joni Mitchell.
Remus rifled through the records on the shelf and frowned. “Accio Bridge Over Troubled Water,” he said hopefully. There was an expectant pause in the living room and then nothing. “Accio Come A Little Closer,” he said with slightly less hope in his voice. And, once again, nothing happened.
Remus stood up, still frowning, and poked his head into the kitchen. “Did you take any records with you to Meda’s the other day?” he asked Sirius, who was whistling along with the kettle.
“No,” Sirius said, and flicked his wand at the kettle so it filled the cups. “I brought some back, though. For some reason Ted has two copies of Avalon. Well, had, now.” He handed Remus a mug of tea and followed him into the living room. “Have you tried accio?”
“No,” Remus said. “Of course I haven’t tried accio. Whatever makes you think I’d try the easiest summoning spell in the world? Of course I’ve tried accio, you lummox.”
“All right, Moonshine,” Sirius said, “don’t get snippy.” He put his mug down on the table and went to kneel in front of the shelves. “Unless you’ve been causing disorder in my filing system again they definitely aren’t there.”
“Trust me,” Remus said, “I would never dare disturb your obsessive filing system. I still have nightmares about fourth year.”
Sirius snickered. “You looked lovely with purple hair.”
“Yes, well,” Remus shook his head, “that doesn’t answer the question of where the records have gone. They can’t have just disappeared into thin air. And we haven’t had a party in ages, and we haven’t been to a party in a week or so, and I was listening to them the other day.”
Sirius flicked his wand and the record player started to play Court and Spark. He sat down on the floor and tugged at Remus’s trouser cuffs. “Just sit down. We’ll work it out.”
Remus lowered himself to the floor gingerly and leaned back against the sofa. “Oh, that’s better. Sodding back.” He accioed the book he was reading and shoved his feet under Sirius’s legs.
“Lily!” Sirius exclaimed a few minutes later, startling Remus who nearly sent tea flying over the floor.
“Where?” Remus asked, looking around in bemusement.
“Here!” Sirius said, and sniffed. “Oh, not right now,” he said seeing Remus’s confusion. “She was here the other day when you’d done your back in. Disappeared off after making some tea. I bet she absconded with the records. Cunning little witch.”
Remus closed his book. “She does enjoy borrowing our records. But she usually leaves a note.”
Sirius frowned. “Accio Lily’s Mocking Note.” A piece of parchment, folded to look like a swan, flew through the air from the record shelf and landed neatly on the table. It unfolded itself and made a noise that was suspiciously like McGonagall’s “hem hem”. Lily’s voice came through the record player’s speakers, sounding very gleeful.
”Ahem, ahem! I take it that if you can hear this then you have been searching for your records. I currently have them in my possession. I will return them. In exchange for one dinner cooked lovingly by Sirius, a copious amount of wine and, ultimately, an evening of such drunkenness and debauchery that Remus dances on the tables again. You have one week to make this happen.”
The swan folded in on itself and disappeared in a puff of crimson smoke.
“Oh no.” Remus said forcefully. “I meant it when I said I was never getting drunk enough to dance on tables again.” He glowered at the smoke drifting towards the ceiling and then raised his eyebrows at Sirius. “You have your menu planning face on. There will be no menu planning. Because there will be no dinner party. No dinner, no wine and definitely no dancing.”
“But this could be the perfect opportunity to make that soup I’ve been thinking about.” Sirius said wistfully. “And that cake. You like cake.”
Remus glowered. “I do like cake. I do not like embarrassing myself more than is humanly necessary.”
“But you’re so good at it.” Sirius said in what he obviously thought was a charming manner. “Ouch!” he added, rubbing his upper arm where Remus had punched him.
“Being good at something does not mean you have to do it.” Remus said. “You, for instance, are good at insulting people. But we’ve been working on you not doing it anymore. And as Padfoot you’re good at digging up people’s gardens; which is something we still need to work on. Mrs Carter from downstairs had words with me the other day.”
Sirius grumbled under his breath and stood up. “Well, Lily isn’t going to back down. It’s either dinner and drunk dancing or we have to buy the records again.”
--
“Owwwwww, my head.” Remus said, and tried to pull the duvet over his head. “Make the sun go away.”
Sirius mumbled in his sleep and turned so he had his head shoved into Remus’s armpit. “’n a minute.”
“Ahem! Ahem!” Lily’s voice rang through the room. “You have held up your end of the bargain splendidly. I only wish I could have recorded Remus’s attempt at skanking. It was worth every moment of this hangover.”