Day 10 - Fic: Team Place: Longsdune

[rsgamesmods]

Team: Place

Title: Longsdune

Rating: PG-13/Teen

Warnings: Angst, kissing, brief mentions of canon-compliant character deaths

Word Count: 3500

Summary: He supposes that this is what is expected of him, to sit here and listen to wetness sinking into the earth and remember how it felt when it was sunny, and there were four of them, and Sirius Black

Comments

[bearshorty]

The ending killed me.  As I started reading that section and realized what it was almost from the first line, my heart swooped into my stomach. What a way for this place to be used again. This was a wonderfully evocative piece of a place but also of youth and of memories and small things that seem big to us.

Wonderful story that will stay with me.

[museinabsentia]

Oh this was wonderful. The way this little place that played such a tiny moment in their lives encompassed such big feelings. They way that the little moments build, upon each other, in the memories of those who lived them, into such ripe, important experiences, despite their relative simplicity. Then to take that moment and use it to tell the entire story, all these different points it has infiltrated, colored, shaped. What an incredible feat you've managed here.

This:
And Remus will shake his head and say: No. Never mind. Because he imagines they will have remembered it differently, after all, and that everyone has a different place, a different fulcrum around which the rest of the world rotates.
Right there. That's it exactly. I'm so impressed with this entire thing.

And the ending. Oh, the ending. So bittersweet. Somehow hopeful, despite what we know has just happened. You've completely done me in. What a wonderful story.

[bookgrrrl2006]

gorgeously written a very evocative setting - this was really perfect in all ways. it was also rather perfect for both place and time. i love that you actually researched the place in the photo (today was like a theme of well-researched stories!) and i feel like i learned so much about this history and culture that area of britain. the well-dressing and the domesday book and the observations about architecture all struck me as very remus-like things to know and note. well done on that, too!

in fact, i could just feel remus throughout this entire piece, you wrote him so very well. and yet that train station was almost as much of a character as he was and that impressed me, too.

i just want to read this again and again

[luminousgloom]

This is so beautiful. The way the scenes are laid out, like a collage of memories that are at once vague and precise. Adore your wonderfully evocative descriptions of the landscape, and the language - so natural and yet very poetic without being overblown. Great(!) image of the deep holes in the earth, wells that might contain ancient bones, that like memories are sometimes decorated and cherished but also seem strange and dark, lurking there underground, for anyone to trip and fall into...

Sirius is scrabbling at ledges and trying not to fall, he keeps telling himself. Next year is their last. Things are changing very quickly.

was one of many brilliant passages, also

It was inevitable that the earth would disgorge something like this: coated with the bile of memories tainted unpleasant, a large hulking impasse that he would have to cross through, go over, go under.To be honest this piece left me strangely emotional, and I'm still puzzled by how I feel at the end of it, am I happy for them, or heartbroken? It was a huge pleasure

[sub_etheric]

Wow. I can't get over how vivid the descriptions in this are, from the stopped clock right through to the compass arrow of the old railway line. The sense of place but also a feeling of otherworldliness to it were so well conveyed. It makes me want to head out into Derbyshire on a misty morning to find the station hidden in the undergrowth 40 years ago.

The little light touches like Remus musing on James fancying himself a proper adult were lovely too. Such an emotional piece, full of hope, and one that I'll definitely come back to in future.