Day 8 - Fic: Team Time: A Past Tense of Drowned

[rsgamesmods]

Team: Time

Title: A Past Tense of Drowned

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Descriptions of drowning, blood, gore, descriptions of food and eating

Word Count: 3200

Summary: Sirius, six weeks dead, was standing on Remus’ doorstep. He was barefoot, in Muggle clothes, and drenched from his tangle of black hair to the soles of his muddy feet. He was terribly

Comments

[museinabsentia]

Oh what a truly clever way to bring Sirius back. Taking him on a detour through different times to let him sort of... skip... the exact moment of his death so that it doesn't happen. This is lovely! Poor Remus, though, losing him twice before getting him back. Wonderful job!

[gizenshi]

That was a very satisfying read!

[abyss_valkyrie]

Okay,I already love you for the fact that this has a happy ending!
I cannot believe how you used the ghost-alternate reality idea here with a supernatural being who is real creepy but is also like a watcher of time and space. The vivid descriptions are really something, I could picture every scene so perfectly,you have a way with words!

This line though:'He had been lectured, often, as a child about the personal satisfaction he should feel that a hundred years of Lupins had scrubbed the same floors and washed dishes at the same sink, and it seemed just as much shit at thirty as it had at thirteen.'!Oh my gosh,I can just imagine Remus trying hard not to roll his eyes as a thirteen year old while sitting and being lectured and thinking he should not have opened his mouth!!

Really great fic in 3000 words,awesome awesome!

[luminousgloom]

This is a thing of beauty. Loved your descriptions of the Spirit - what she is, how she speaks, what she says - and the whole idea of time travel and the way you've executed it. Somehow it all felt very true to me, as though it absolutely might have happened in JKR's universe, too. Really enjoyed the image of the sopping wet landscape, and how it relates to the idea of Sirius drowning. And what a perfect (or, rather cruel) point to end the story. A gorgeous piece, brilliant work!

[sub_etheric]

This was really atmospheric and a great use of time travel to allow Sirius' story to continue. It had some lovely moments and details - Remus deliberately putting himself back together and making tea, ignoring Sirius' twitching brow, James pretending to cry over Sirius' hair, boiling eggs, fifty!