Day 6 - Fic: Team MWPP: Affection Falling Just Short of Love

[rsgamesmods]

Team: MWPP
Title: Affection Falling Just Short of Love
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mild swearing, modern non-magic AU
Word Count: ~3400
Summary: Sometimes Remus goes into empty houses and steals books, Sirius is the only person that’s ever caught him at it.
Notes: Title from Welcome to Night Vale podcast #28, Summer Reading Program.
Prompt: 48 - “

Comments

[dogsunderfoot]

This is such a cute story, made even better by some great lines/back-and-forth between the pups, like this:
"Compulsive liar, my brother. Anything he said, or even happened to mention- absolute falsehoods. Couldn’t tell the truth to save his own life, could Regulus."
“Interesting.”
“Oh, no. It’s quite tragic, really.”
And this: "The pay-off for a few hundred years of highly selective breeding,” Sirius said dryly.
Remus’ smile was crooked, “It looks good on you."

Sirius picking up the sword to defend the house and himself was really funny, and I absolutely adore the last line! Nicely done!

[grandilloquism]

Thank you! It was such great fun to write them again, I hadn't realized how much I missed it.

[leontinabowie]

This was cute. Sirius was so very Sirius, choosing a sword of all things to defend himself, and Remus was wonderfully bordering on an adorable mysteriousness.

I loved the inclusion of Regulus (one of my favourite minor characters) and that you actually made him and Sirius not hate each other.

Great work :D

[grandilloquism]

Regulus is my favorite to write-- his particular brand of snarky superiority is a joy. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[bookgrrrl2006]

this is one of those fantastic fics that just makes me want to quote the whole thing back at you. i simply loved everything about it.

your characters were spot on and it was a great use of the prompt and theme, but what i think i loved most was the tone. it was so very funny and felt very authentically british. the dialog was great, but the way their words fit in nicely with the tone of the narration was even better. the way they first met was cleverly constructed and once again the dialog was just perfect. you have remus's dry wit down to a science and sirius was perfectly sirius as well.

and an improbably phallic topiary? that's just brilliant.

this was just fantastic.

[grandilloquism]

It's been a while since I've written these guys so I'm glad they read true to character for you. It's hard to pin down how I shift the tone of my writing when I'm in this fandom versus anything else, but it's nice to hear that it's something you picked up on. Thank you!

[pavlablack]

Very original story that made me smile! I love Sirius defending his home with the sword and making movements he learned from "a weekend's marathoning fantasy dramas." And Remus being a book thief and Sirius then giving him the book as a Christmas gift : ) The banter between Sirius and Regulus was wonderful too, as was the later scene in the library with Remus--and this line absolutely cracked me up: "I'm an avid ornithologist." Fun story with an intriguing scenario and truly excellent writing--enjoyed!

[grandilloquism]

I'm particularly fond of both of those lines, so I'm very glad it's not just me over here quietly chuckling to myself. Thank you!

[ladonnaerrante]

This was such a great little bit of humor and sweetness--really made my evening to read it! The ease with which Sirius and Remus got on fits them so well and was reflected in the simple, light tone of the writing.

I particularly Loved this exchange:
“I’ve known you twenty minutes and you are already the oddest person I’ve ever met,” Sirius remarked, pettish.

“Would you feel better if I said the reverse was also true?” Remus asked. “I’ve never been threatened with a sword before.”

It's just so wonderfully true to character!

I also really enjoyed how understated the story was--how we don't know what why Remus steals books or the details of Sirius' strife with his family, or what led to that first kiss. The tone is just so very matter-of-fact--very well done!

[grandilloquism]

Thank you! I just really loved the idea of them not knowing what to think of the other at first, that they're just sort of immediately at odds.