Day 12 - Fic: Team Sirius: Seven

[rsgamesmods]

Team: Sirius
Title: Seven
Rating: R
Warnings: Frottage, some bad language
Word Count: ~ 13,300
Summary: Each year the Hogwarts Express leaves from King’s Cross station, for seven years it takes the Marauders to school and one time takes them home.
Notes: Thanks again to my Beta L, who hasn’t killed me yet even though she probably should.
Prompt: 23

Comments

[bookgrrrl2006]

i really really liked this and i very much liked the way you played with the word perfect. it was in fact kinda perfect. this was also the perfect antidote to the angst that i read first. i am glad that i read them this way because though both stories were beautiful this one really gave me hope and happiness.

you did a good job with the narrative structure too. i liked that it all took place on the train and how well the little vignettes worked together to make a real story with a narrative art. the hiding bit was really cool too.

i also liked that paragraph near the end with the phrase about friends in red and gold rather than green and silver. it was as beautifully written as the rest of this work but it really stood out too.

[livinglibraries]

Thanks so much, I'm glad you enjoyed the structure and how it all came together. I also think you picked out one of my favourite parts :D

[bearshorty]

I really like the idea behind this story - with all the action happening on the train and how their friendship and relationships evolved from year to year. And lots of important conversations and decisions happen on that train!

And there was a lot of ups and downs which made those relationship seem very real. Real friendships can be strained at times and I found Year 6 conversation to be very true.

[livinglibraries]

That train sees it all! Thanks for commenting.

[epithalamium]

I loved how everything happened in the Hogwarts Express. I don't think I've ever read anything like this before! And because they only get on the train a couple of times in a year, we only see bits and pieces of how Remus and Sirius' relationship and how it developed. I really like that, how Sirius was protective one year, and they were together in the next. So many things have probably happened, but we get this limited view of them, which is really attractive for me.

Some of the bits can be quite confusing--some scenes shift without break in the narrative--but you told the story well enough that we know what's happening, anyway.

The last part was really lovely. Your summary says it all, actually: and one time takes them home. That captures the warm and fuzzy feeling I had after reading this!

[livinglibraries]

Thanks, I'm glad you got the warm and fuzzies :D

[mutuisanimis]

Oh hell. I was all set to be fluffy and happy and then that last line... Agh, it's what I love about fanfic, or even any kind of supplement to an original canon, that you can play off the readers' presupposed knowledge. Anyway, you killed me with that.

But what a lovely story! I like that you had it still a bit awkward between Remus and Sirius even more than a year after the Snape incident. I like to think that Remus was not such a push-over that he would go running back to Sirius after only a month or two.

...and that the train only took them "home" once... ahhhh you're wonderful.

Definitely going into my favorites.

[livinglibraries]

Thanks so much! Sorry for killing you ;) I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[eprime]

I really enjoyed this. I think framing your narrative in the train rides was a great idea. I could really see the milestones so clearly with each one. I also really loved this: He could almost see the echoes of each year, friends in red and gold rather than green and silver, confidences shared and love in an unexpected place to say the least. And all of it more than he’d ever thought he deserved.

[livinglibraries]

Thanks, I enjoyed doing the separate years and showing how their relationship changed.