(no subject)
Last night I saw you in my dream. Now, I can't wait to go to sleep.
I had a dream last night about you and mama's new house she recently bought. In my dream, the house was huge and amazing. It had 3 stories, secret doorways, and extra rooms such as my own photography studio, a sun room, music room, and other miscellaneous rooms that were just there for aesthetics. There was one more room. It was the room mama reserved for you when you were supposed to get out of the hospital. I was setting up a shot in my studio when I started talking to you. In all of my dreams I have about you, you had already passed away, but you are always there in spirit. I told you that I love you and miss you and I wished you were still here so you can see your new room in this amazing new house. I was saying these things to you and started to imagine you sitting on the couch. Then I convinced myself that if I imagined even harder, your ghost would appear and it would be another chance to see you. It would feel as though I am really talking to you in person one last time. I imagined for this so bad, but it never happened. Your ghost never appeared, so I just started crying.
And now I am awake and even more conscious of reality. I can't wait for tonight because maybe I will see you and tell you not to worry. You did too much of that here. I am looking out the window right now and a beautiful yellow and black bird just landed on our sunflowers. I want to go to sleep tonight and tell you this. I want to go to sleep and tell you that Paw Kham had a dream about you too. You were standing in their new living room that was filled with a tall field of corn you had given to them. You stood there in silence and just smiled at him. I want to go to sleep tonight and tell you I will be okay. Your daughters will be okay, and your grandchildren will be okay. Because I'm so proud of you, and there isn't anything left for you to do. I love you. See you when I see you.